What makes you lose interest on someone you’re trying to know/date?

Question

mobiusforniner · Accepted Answer

I'm out of the dating world now, but from experience...

1) She moves too quickly. Once had a girl have me meet her parents on date #2. That freaked me out.

2) She has an insane amount of debt or financial problems. I dumped a girl just for this reason. I'm not going to take a second mortgage to pay off your student loan.

3) She says she's "just your friend" but gets insanely jealous when you you date someone else. (i. e. doesn't want commitment, but wants you to be her exclusive go-to).

4) She's a hoarder / lives a filthy life. If I have to navigate half eaten pizza boxes and empty drink cans when I walk into her apartment, it's a no-go. Wife material isn't a spoiled sorority brat.

5) Unambitious, doesn't have goals or dreams. Cannot see herself and where she wants to be in life; lacking foresight. Lacking in adult responsibilities, which includes but is not limited to, having no drivers license, inability to balance a checkbook; no basic independent skills like knowing how to cook a basic meal or change a light bulb.

6) Inability to communicate feelings. This is a big one. I dumped a girl because I was so confused about her feelings. Everything was conjecture because she wouldn't tell me what she was feeling or thinking.

7) Liars and/or gaslighters (i. e. attempts to convince you what you're feeling is wrong, despite her actions and behaviors saying otherwise)

8) Wants to give me a blowjob on the first, or even second and third date. Sorry, that's not attractive because it shows me you're either too desperate or you lack self control.

Therisinghero12 · Accepted Answer

No chemistry, or negative traits like rudeness or entitlement etc...

Thatgirlcvp · Accepted Answer

When I tell the guy I am waiting for marriage, if he's not down for it or asks me insulting questions. God isn't important in his life/doesn't believe in God. These two are number one for me.

If he cusses like a sailor. I'll tell the guy to please not talk like that infront of me, give him a chance but if he keeps doing it anyway I'll be done.

Certain like really weird expectations in a relationship where I don't feel comfortable doing those things.

Trust issues. Like say he was cheated on years ago and during those years being single he never worked to improve himself/heal/move on. He basically holds onto that baggage and goes straight into a new relationship with trust issues.

Drinking. If he drinks often or seems to have an interest in drinking.

When he does or says creepy things often.

He's a smoker of weed/cigarettes/vape.

If I find out he did any kind of hardcore drug in the past.

If he has kids.

He's fat. He doesn't have to be ripped. Just not fat.

gayeki · Accepted Answer

If he lies, that is the most important thing for me😕

Finchie40 · Answer

I will date any girl I find attractive and feel I have a connection with , Dating to me is just getting to know someone , no strings attached if she is dating other guys as well then be honest about it , I hate liars , I prefer that she isn’t seeing other guys but nowadays most girl’s have a list of guys she is interested in or talking to , when I was youngerI was dating a handful of girls just getting to know them , until I realized what I was doing was wrong in a way , so I was always honest about it , if she didn’t like the fact that I was dating other girls then I respected her decision not to see me anymore , Nowadays I don’t really care if a girl is already dating other guys , just be honest about it , I would tell her the only way I would consider going any further with her is if she stopped dating those other guys , but sadly most people don’t do that, they just lie and that’s a big turn off to me , cuz if I find out the truth it’s over between us , so just be honest, honesty gets you further because it’s respectful

GoodManDave · Answer

I think someone showing that she KEEPS making really poor life choices... I think someone who admits to repeatedly cheating (and shows little to no remorse) - stuff like that.

I had a small crush on a girl - we ended up "one on one" once or twice because no one else bothered to show up to events. She admitted she cheated on a close friend with her boyfriend, admitted she would have done it again because the "best friend" was ugly and stupid, and the guy was HOT (self proclaimed good Christian girl). Kept that thing going for months. Not a "one time mistake" either. That little crush went away pretty much immediately.

Screaming at a little kid for a minor thing (and getting in their face), screaming at a waiter/waitress for stuff that isn't their fault; that's a big one - being really disrespectful when you don't HAVE to bring out the big ultimatums or "threats." (This is not them endangering anyone).

I think being too intense or creepy especially right away - too much for where we are in the relationship. Saying we should move in together, or that she's been engaged within three weeks every time she's dated a guy...

Talking about other guys she's slept with or messed with in detail, especially way too early.

HighValue · Answer

"Can I see a picture" is a polite way of asking, "Are you fat or have an ugly face?"

People that refuse to send pictures are often one or both of those. they are time wasters that only want to talk and never intend to meet in person because they know they look too bad to get interest from the person they are talking to.

The only exception I can think of would be if they had a very public kind of job and want to know the person well enough first.

What makes me lose interest is if by their responses I can tell they have liberal/democrat morals. Totally incompatible for me. No point in wasting either of our time.

Snsl153 · Answer

Yes, but it's more like 92% of the interest is instantaneously lost. I've had guys here on this site ask in PM's for photos, but why would I send someone I had just met online the day or week before, and about whom I know precisely zilch, a photograph? The conversation usually goes something like this:

Blue GAG stranger: "Send me a photo"

Me: "No"

Blue GAG stranger: "Why not? I want to see what you look like" (even though he himself doesn't have a profile photo).

Me: "Because I don't want to"

Blue GAG stranger: "Oh come on. Pleeeeease..."

Me: "Do you understand the meaning of the word 'no'"?

Blue GAG stranger: "I want to see what you look like. Come on. Show me a picture"

Me: "Good bye!" (blocked)

When I say 'no' I actually mean it. Don't try my patience like this.

Lionman95 · Answer

For me the biggest deal breaker is a woman that gives me the feeling that I´m the only one investing in the relationship. I don´t like it when a woman says she invests time and money in looking good for me and therefore sees no further need to invest anything in a relationship.

I´m not asking for money but if she only answers texts for example with one word or one sentence or just emojis I get the feeling I bore her and therefore leave.

For me relationships should be built on a mutual interest in one another and just investing in your beauty isn´t such a sign to me because it´s something a woman does rather for her own confidence.

BullShark · Answer

Oh boy, where do I start? Lol
It's not just one thing but multiple things they can do which can make me lose interest in them really fast, and probably also the reason why I'm still single even after 3 years of dumping my last ex. Let me just list 'em down as I remember them off the top of my head.

1. When they're still friends with their ex
2. If my friends don't like them, chances are, I won't like 'em either
3. When they start being secretive about everything
4. When they start losing interest in you too
5. When they've lied to you once already
6. When they doubt you over stuff people gossip about you even after knowing you well enough
7. When you no longer feel comfortable in their presence
8. When they out your personal secrets to others, regardless if they're a friend
9. When you feel like you can't trust anything they say or do
10. When they don't have many or sometimes even any friends of the same gender as their's.

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

If a woman brings up past infidelity, drug problems, or has kids I’m out immediately; if they start telling me about the richest guy they’ve been with and the things they used to go do, I’m out. If she used to be fat I’m out. If she has low tier friends that act like bad bitches I’m out. Lots of male friends I’m out.

Women don’t understand what men need or want anymore and they don’t care. They have destroyed our entire civilization and I look forward to the day where they all end up as truly second class humans. F

DizzyDesii · Answer

If they ask for a nude or suggest getting sexual early on. If they have more differences in values/interests/goals than they do similiarities. If they smoke ANYTHING. If they still party and drink a lot. If he constantly uses sarcasm or has a smartass mouth. If he can't hold a conversation or plays video games too often. If he has no shoe game. If he makes race jokes, is obsessed with politics, or is too active on social media. If he's not awake during my most active quality time hours 10p-1a lol. I’m petty but thats when I like meaningful conversations. 😂

MCheetah · Answer

I lose ALL attraction in someone online if they're:

1. Feminists (hates men, are always the "victim," whines and bitches all the time)
2. Woke or Progressive (politically far-left)
3. Stupid
4. Shallow
5. Narcissistic
6. Half-assed lesbians ("bisexual")
7. Polyamorous (cheaters, adulterers, unfaithful)
8. Lazy
9. Excuse makers
10. Abusive
11. Liars
12. Manipulators
13. Masculine or butch
14. Trans

And I can't speak for girls, but yeah, I think that quote is true.

Ευδεμονια · Answer

I think honestly the “send me a pic” request, for my personal experience, is only intended like “may I know the face of the person I’m talking with?”. I don’t think it’s wrong to ask with this intention, since it’s only a sign of minimum respect to give at least an idea of who you are to the other person… for my personal experience usually it happens mutually, so the pic sending request comes from both parts… so there’s nothing wrong and I can’t comprehend why should a girl lose interest.

In general, the thing which makes me lose interest is… disinterest or indifference. I’m a curious person so I give space to the other person to tell me about her so I can know well her. I want to be treated the same way, if the other person only focuses on herself and don’t give me my space or doesn’t show any minimum sign of interest, that makes me lose faith and will to proceed with the dating.

petitedollbabee · Answer

When they start lying about insignificant things, like what they had for breakfast or what they did yesterday - it shows me that if they’re happy to lie about little things, then they’ll be fine lying about big things like cheating.

When they pester/harass me for nudes or to sext with them.

When they act like a “pick me”. For example, saying no one likes them, saying they’re ugly, saying that they’re not good enough to have a girlfriend, saying that girls never choose them, etc. But saying those things in a way that makes them fish for compliments or reassurance, and it’s a continuous thing no matter how much you compliment or reassure them. If someone’s just depressed and they genuinely believe those things and say them, then that’s a different story.

When they gaslight/manipulate. Saying that somethings all in my head, saying they never did something when I have proof that they did, things like that.

All are instant goodbyes.

desperatelyhungry · Answer

When a guy makes it clear he wants to have sex early on. Even if I’m physically attracted to you, my days of hook ups and flings is over and I need more than just good looks. I want a connection and I also want him to show me he wants commitment. I won’t have sex until between a few weeks and a few months in, guys usually ghost you before you get that far. Oh well I guess, less heartbreak if you weed them out early

exitseven · Answer

I had a long distance relationship with somebody for 4 years. We were pretty serious and even talked about marriage and our future. The last time i went out to see her she showed up at the airport wearing a blue hoodie that was all covered with dirt. She got some kind of a weird perm and had it combed over on on side. She told me that she almost forgot to pick me up at the airport..

At that moment i lost all my affection for her. It was weird but I just did not see her the same way. I tried too ignore this but a few months later I called her on the phone and broke up with her.

Spiritofn · Answer

When effort vs output isn’t satisfactory with the inclusion of dating scars.

I was so close to calling it off with fiancé, I’m sure she started to see it in my eyes. Cause I’m already on the verge of snapping with her now over small shit I gave and gave and gave and gave and then it got to a point where there were results but I had these wounds which aren’t healing I don’t get enough in my opinion for that but w/e anyway. The smallest shit at this point some days it’s like I’m straight up willing to kick her out the door and let her have to hitch hike home to mamas house an 1 3/4 of an hour away…

Hairylegs222 · Answer

When she insults me and tries to play it off that it was a "joke". Unbelievable how many women I've encountered that thinks it's ok to talk like that to anyone. It's toxic and I guess her parents never taught her how to be polite.

There's a shit ton of other things but I just wanted to say this one lol.

TallAnon · Answer

Send me a pic is said 79% of the time when I guy already lost serious interest.

But in all seriousness, losing interest can be because of a lot of reasons; Something serious like finding out someone is of a certain religion or they're racist. Or something minor that just personally doesn't sit well with you like.. being a picky eater or assuming someone pays for you.

As an example, a girl told me she wanted to pay me back 50% of the dinner after a date. When I brought it up a while later she said I was stingy. I would've gladly paid for the dinner, but don't promise something and don't pull through. Told her to fuck off and blocked her.

HawkPerception · Answer

I lose interest when I see they don't communicate at my level, or find that they don't have any similarities in terms of views, interests, goals in life, sense of humor, etc.

Also, I find it fair to ask the other person to provide pictures of themselves, especially if they don't have many. Physical attraction is a thing lol

USLegionary · Answer

When she starts talking about her ex and what an abusive monster he was to her. Usually it means he dumped her because he was tired of her shit or she was cheating. If she cheats she Belongs to the streets.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Smoking - don't need to smell your ashtray breath, or worse have it in my home

Constantly complaining about women this and that. If I wanted to hear complaining I'd sit in with my girl friends

Talking themselves up as the hottest thing on earth. I like confidence, but not to the point if arrogance

Chewing with his mouth open - 🤢🤮

wingattebaby16 · Answer

when i ask lots of probing deep questions to know a person, then they don't ask me back, not even a simple question.

When a person is talking about themselves all the time, and all it is about is their Exes, cars, sports, video games, and hot chicks.

when i ask personal questions to get to know them or the question requires a little thought to answer, they are done talking, leave, or change the subject.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

When she asks, “What do you do?”, i lose 100% interest instantly. Men don’t want to be reduced to financial assets any more than women want to be reduced to sexual objects. Now let me be clear, if resources are your main goal, you SHOULD ask that question, and early. There are guys for you. But if you want something more meaningful, you better be about something other than my job and my bank accounts.

NathanDavis · Answer

"not to be racist, but... " "not to be sexist, but... " "not to be homophobic, but... " "not to be xenophobic, but... " "Aaron Rodgers is better than Tom Brady though... "

IveGotNoName · Answer

I have only ever dated one person, but yea the "send me a pic" thing would make me leave instantly. Other things include smoking or any kind of excessive use of something unhealthy, bringing up stuff like sex too early on also doesn't sit well with me, and last (I'm sure there's more but this is just off the top of my head) if they seem unmotivated about everything and don't actually have something they're passionate about.

Backwoodsbaby · Answer

Ok, it would have to be
1 always cancel plans (I understand things happens but 2x of SEEING EACH OTHER been together 4 months come on )
2 short text me (no deep conversation)
I would have to feel like we taken it forward not backwards
3 I can't stand when a guy don't ingage themselves (like I wanna know you I'm texting questions) about life values goals morals and you ain't ask me once
4 don't treat me like I'm stupid or an object

RavVid · Answer

There are innumerable things that could cause loss of interest and can be subliminal in that you pick up something that is not quite right for you without it being front and center in the neo cortex. A lack of courtesy/politeness/basic respect for others would be an immediate see you later. If there seems to be dishonesty in the person that is even worse. Or lack of sense - I don't want to be involved in others bad decisions.

Kabluie · Answer

Just being a comparison early on is probably the easiest one, you can see it in the responses too. Like no one has to "stack up or down" to someone previously keep that to yourself until you know someone better. I hadn't personally experienced it in a long time but you watch these shows and be like dang, you really are like this.

user1516 · Answer

I usually start to feel paranoid like why does he want one? What will he do with it? What’s going on? can't you see the pictures on my Instagram?
So I usually just end the convo and not reply anymore. It’s been a while since I’ve “talked” to a guy online like that. Im into meeting them in person now.

Literalbillionaire17 · Answer

I loose interest when I feel a shift in their energy towards me. For example I was recently talking to this guy but I feel him change, he started talking to me less and stopped making an effort so I lost interest completely. He blamed it on work but I felt like it was more then that 🤷🏽‍♀️

globetrotter22 · Answer

Curious if that’s “send me a pic” statistics refers to something innocent or is it send me a nudie? Can guys screw things up even if they didn’t have bad intentions with that?

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

The picture you show is basically like if companies ask you for your ID, you have 79% chance of losing interest for that job.

Anyway to answer your question, if it seems like they're hiding something. It's a waste of time to be interested with someone dishonest

alice55 · Answer

If he's an hypocrite  if he's obsessed with apperance if he's a democrat / liberal

lilyanony1 · Answer

Sending or requesting nude pic's  Snapping at me unnecessarily.  Flaunting their money.  Bragging about sexual prowess.  Rudeness.  Lack of chivalry, gentleman behaviour.

JDBSLAOQ · Answer

When they can't hold a conversation. If you're gonna reply in 3 word sentences and not contribute to the conversation i can only assume you'll put the same amount of effort into a relationship

Kkoalalita · Answer

If I see or sense any lack of interest my brain goes immediately to I’m wasting my time on someone who doesn’t want me and lose feelings.

Texaskid1 · Answer

Will not cook, clean, iron shirts, bring me cold beers, make sandwiches and other womanly duties.

ChiTown33 · Answer

When she lets me know by her actions that she's minimally interested. One person cannot keep a relationship afloat.

John_Doesnt · Answer

We needs pics to upload to those disgusting ex-girlfriend porn sites.  But there's so many, which one?

anon1903 · Answer

Usually when they make a sexist joke and expect me to laugh :/

Sarahplus2 · Answer

Send him a pic and then he asking about a body pic.

Valso · Answer

So a girl asking for pics is OK but not the other way around? The female hypocrisy is just... WOW!

melanieeeB · Answer

There can be like a million reasons lol nearly everything, I get bored fast and I'm picky with people too...

Blackcosmo · Answer

OMG yes that is 100% true for me. It will result in an immediate block and no association whatsoever.

AsaKyo · Answer

If he starts showing toxic traits, that's when it's over

chicosuave · Answer

When they are too quiet and got nothing to say. Short texts. They are rude and they get bored quick. I like people who enjoy life whatever it could be.

Makeushiver · Answer

If thy talk too much about themselves or if they act inauthentic, e. g. little girl trill that's an octave higher than their normal voice when they see something cute

hyperben · Answer

when theyre rude to strangers, service staff or when they just stare at their phone...

SAMI_DABBAB · Answer

I came her to state how much I absolutely love the percentage

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

- when I see that she has no interest I stop - when she is terrible at having conversations -when she is toxic - when we have no matching interests - when she is a tiktok diva

Nikki1989 · Answer

When they start demanding photos, videos etc. Once they become pushy, I have to call it quits.

Paul09 · Answer

When they aren't asking me anything. And im asking about her.. dates feel so one-sided.

Storm8756 · Answer

Not texting me back in a timely manner. We all know you check your phone 90 times a day and it takes seconds. If she’s not texting you back she either doesn’t like you or playing games with your heart and mind.

nawtee_me · Answer

Both male and female should send recent pics of themselves to the other as soon as possible. Not nudes but regular pics so no unrealistic expectations are made by perceiving the other as we want them to be instead of how they really are.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Any kind of statement or behavior that says "look at how other men try to get my attention." It just reeks of insecurity.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

If she's not dependable, that betrays a lot very quickly.

hIopinionated_ · Answer

Finding out he’s a sexist. If he’s a sexist he’s most likely a racist, homophobe, etc

Shadow_Monarch · Answer

When they play games in dating. Like they string you on, will they- won't they. I immediately lose interest.

dolemite89 · Answer

when she starts telling me about her accomplishments or how much she makes, a lot of girls try to replicate what they find attractive in men like we value the same things 😂

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Different goals. Or they might not be the kind of person who I thought they were.

Blackcupcake · Answer

poor sense of humour, low IQ, poor hygiene, narrow minded, unloyal, selfish

Rangers · Answer

They show a lack of interest, they may be playing hard to get as well but either way, I'd rather not play games

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