Do guys only want to be friends with girls with the possibility of a relationship?

[Bellona]

Updates

9 d

I don't want to get into a friendship with guys if they are expecting more.

- Guys have been friendly to me but ignore them because I don't know their expectations as I have not allowed them to get into the friend stage.
- I also feel that I can't trust that if I tell a guy that I want to be in my single era they will not take advantage and see me as single, available, an opportunity for them.
- I don't mind being friends with guys but it freaks me out when some have wanted more.

Updates

9 d

should girls just be friends with girls. Is that's why some boyfriend's can't trust male friends of the SO?

[MrOracle]

We need to be CLEAR about what EXACTLY we are talking about.

I define "friend" not as a mere acquaintance, but rather as a person that you REGULARLY spend time with alone, by choice. This generally doesn't include co-workers or casual "friends" (aka acquaintances).

Men who are ALREADY in a happy, healthy relationship *can* be "just friends" with a girl - though they usually aren't, because their wife/girlfriend wouldn't be comfortable with it. But, for the most part, it's at least POSSIBLE.

Men who are SINGLE (and who are not gay or asexual), generally CANNOT be "just friends" with a woman if he finds her at all attractive - and most men choose not to be "friends" with girls they don't find attractive. And while *sometimes* the reason they can't be "just friends" is because they want a relationship, it's even more common that it's because they want SEX - casual sex and nothing more. Sex and relationships are NOT the same thing for men - men are perfectly capable of wanting and enjoying sex without having to have any romantic feelings for the girl, and when you are talking about what men want or if a guy "likes" a girl, you must always make clear distinctions between "wanting her for SEX" or "wanting her for a RELATIONSHIP" - because those are two different things with two different answers.

Just as women separate men they meet into 3 categories, men do the same with the women they meet. Both men and women have a category for "people they want to be in a relationship with" and for "people they have no interest in whatsoever". The difference is the third, "middle" category. For women, that category is called "just friends", but for men, that category is called "just sex" - meaning "women I just want to have casual sex with, and nothing more." And if you are paying close attention, you'll realize that this means that men do NOT have a "just friends" category for women, because we have no interest in being "just friends" because such relationships are completely one-sided and always end up with the women taking and taking and the man getting little or nothing in return. Men do NOT want to be "just friends" - EVER - UNLESS they are already in a relationship they love and have all of those needs being fulfilled already. And even then, it's still relatively rare.

Yes, a SMALL number of exceptions exist, but they're rarer than you think and the RULE applies to nearly every man you will ever meet.

Men have lots of acquaintances, but not many friends, and those friends are almost always male. That's not likely to change anytime soon.

If you were a man, this would make complete sense to you and you would have been nodding your head reading this, but as a woman, I'm sure it's hard to understand, because you are used to being on the "benefits" side of the equation rather than the one who has to make the majority of the sacrifices..

[Nirmroth]

Pls dont speak for me

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@MrOracle please remove the computer in your brain, this regurgitation of mindless data mixed with your opinions is painful to read lol

[MrOracle]

No one is preventing anyone from speaking for themselves, but that also means that folks here - including myself - can make generalizations when something clearly is true of the majority of a given group. You may be an exception - exceptions exist - but that doesn't make the generalization any less true.

My goal here is to share the RULE - the majority experience - because that's going to apply to the vast majority of people the vast majority of the time. A few exceptions will always exist. You can talk about that - I won't stop you. But most people won't experience the exception, they'll experience the rule, and that's why it's more important to know and understand the rule.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

No, you don't get to parade as objective here, you are running a masquerade with data you don't have. What you call a rule hurts my brain, you can't, realistically, have access to the vast majority, the only thing you have, at best, is speculations on a sample. That fits your views maybe, and that's all.

[Nirmroth]

Just did a google image reverse search on the image and it can't find anything even putting in the keywords doesn't lead to any study or the equalvent. Leads me to suspect that he just loves pulling shit out of his ass

[HawkPerception]

The truth is, the majority of guys are like that. There are very few guys with no intentions of getting with girls that they keep in touch with.

Only guys that have a strong sense of what they desire in a girl paired with a good moral compass can genuinely draw the line and see girls as only friends.

For me, if a girl it not compatible with me (similar views, interests, sense of humor, same vision for their future, communication style, sexual compatibility, etc) then I do not see them as a girl I'd date.

[itsannalee]

Mostly yes, not all. But mosty.
Guys won’t be friends with you if they don’t find you attractive. Unless you are his classmate or coworker, that’s different.

[vj0090]

Nice tattoo by the way

[Bellona]

Thanks. That's something I have not thought about... why would a guy just want to be friends with you at school or work and not want a relationship or like you? If a guy found you unattractive at work why would he waste his time talking to you if he could be doing his work, how could that person be more interesting than his job? Just trying to understand your POV - this scenario is hypothetical by the way.

[itsannalee]

If in the work or school you can build friendship like symbiosis mutualism, you need team. You will need someone help someday. That’s why it’s not always about romatic there.

[Bellona]

Thanks, that makes sense :)

[Account]

Yes, there are men who view us as human beings and not just holes.

[Summeroflove]

Not all men no, and it’s also perfectly normal for friends to develop feelings over time. But it’s not normal to lie to someone about where they stand with you to make someone feel like they’re genuinely a friend. But then you don’t sleep with then and they’re gone.

You should be friends with someone because you genuinely like them as a person.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It depends on how you perceive friendship, and how each of these guys perceive friendship here. The only thing you can perhaps define is how you see friendship with the opposite gender, but what each of them perceive is unknown until discussed with each of them. Case-by-case basis everywhere here.

In my experience of friendship with the opposite gender, there is a sort of unwritten test, to test if: Physical attraction or not, Romantic attraction or not. If there is none of both, then good to go. If there is, that will be, at some point in time, discussed or left ambiguous. With different levels of ambiguity.

Just don't cut yourself out of opposite gender friendship by default because I really think it's a personal enrichment, this diversity in relations.

[HighValue]

Most of the time, yes. Why? Because most of the time as just a friend, there is very little to no benefit for a guy being friends with a woman, unless he likes one of her other friends and that is a way for him to get with her friend. (Using her and not a genuine friend.) The only exception I can think of is co-workers that have work related interests to discuss/help each other with, or a childhood friend.

Think of it this way, what can a woman provide a man in a friendship that another man couldn't do as well or better?

[ProbablyClueless]

Because we know that a lot of women don't actually want to be friends. They want "boyfriend lite" without any reciprocation, and that's not cool. They want emotional intimacy with a man when it suits them and then get rid of him when it doesn't. A lot of women treat their male friends like convenience items, and that steals our time away from women who actually want something to do with us. I'm sorry, but if someone wants me to be boyfriend lite, that needs to come with more than eye-lid flutters and "aren't we the bestest pals?"

[Telekinetic-Potato]

If a guy is friends with you, you're friends. Whether he's attracted to you or wants a more serious future or anything else is totally separate.

A guy looking for a fling is not your friend. At least not in the way we're talking about here.

[PizzaDaddyo]

I hate to leave you with, “it depends.” but, from me it’s safer to say yes. Like if a guy is not liking being single or is romantic lonely, he’s not looking for a girl to hi five only when he gets home from work. If it makes you feel any better, it’s probably easier on you than a gay dude because most guys I’ve ever met and have seen aren’t gay based off of my own understanding. Honestly nowadays have met more lesbian type girls than ever.

[RebelinSteel]

Yeah you can be friends with a girl and not want in her pants or expect to get into her pants. Some guys cannot keep their cocks under control and expect sex if they make friends with a girl or have girls in the group.

[Anonymous]

Men and women who are in a relationship have no business being friends with the opposite sex because it causes too much drama.

I never had luck with male friends even when I was single they all wanted more. It's just not a good idea unless you're open for more.

[Opinion Owner]

Me and my boyfriend were just friends at first.

[Anonymous]

The cold truth is women generally have little to offer men as “platonic friends only”. We are independent and don’t need female friends to survive in the world.

That doesn’t mean we don’t value women as friends. But we do not seek out female friends for a good reason. Especially if we find the woman attractive.

Women on the other hand generally get much more out of having a male friend then vice versa.

[bobby_bush_eater]

No I don't, I don't want to be in a friend zone to chase a girl.

However some guys just think they can because, to be frank a lot of women are dumb, slutty, easily manipulated or have or had friends with benefits.

You have to set boundaries clearly and firmly if you have a friend doing that.

[Berethor]

Kill two birds with one stone, if I am friends with a ho, I don't want a relationship with her.

[ICanSmellTheCosmos]

I never had problems being just friends with girls, to the point that quite a few folks wondered if I was gay in high school and university.

What happened more than one might think was these girls getting frustrated because they developed romantic feelings for me, but I would keep things strictly platonic. Then they weren't crazy about the idea of staying friends anymore.

[EmotionOfFear]

Not necessarily. I'm friends with a girl that I've known since childhood, and men drool over her all the time. You couldn't pay me to even kiss her, no matter the amount. I value friendships with all people, no matter the sex. If they are connecting with my soul on an intimate level and romantically interested back, I pursue something more.

[vj0090]

Relationship... naaahhh
... but for other things... yes haha

[Bellona]

lol...

[vj0090]

Haha 😄

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

I mean unless you are a skilled accountant with a business law degree or a representative/owner of company they buy 90% of their supplies from for their business or something similar, yep, the ones worth it anyways

[Goahead76]

Mine is the opposite, I will happily be friends but I don't want to date you. For me at least I have a few female friends who I work with occasionally and we have long conversations and get along well but no I certainly don't want a relationship.

[BCA6010]

At around your age, I think that's definitely true the vast majority of the time. When you get about 5 years older, then it'll shift a bit.

[paledreams]

I'll be frank, usually yes in the past - since I retired from dating at 30, they're all meaningless now just women just women 😂♀️

[Tashaaaaa]

Usually sorry or it is simply to bang you. So either be okay with him always trying to date or bang you. Or let him bang you but not date.

[Nikki1989]

Not all. Some men make great friends.

[LiamJHayden]

Most probably do. I personally dp not love at friends as potential romatic partners. I view them as sisters, and treat them accordingly.

[jamesgoldman]

Some probably do

Personally all I'm only interested in their gold

[beefcakebradybatson]

I think many guys can draw a line between a girl bud and a potential girlfriend, though we lusty lads often try to breach that delineation.

[Walksbehindtherows]

I would date and sleep with atheist girls, but I prefer white, Christian and virgin girls for marriage, man.

[Anonymous]

If I can't be friends with a woman I can't be anything else. I wouldn't even consider a woman that didn't at least consider me a friend first.

[Anonymous]

If you're hot this will be a major issue unless the guy is already dating a hotter girl than you.

[Ladsin2]

Pretty much. If she's at all attractive he wants to get in your pants.

[Inthelines]

I only want to be friends with moral girls who believe in God.

[Jmmmfi4]

EVERY GUY WILL BE EXPECTING MORE... NO GUY ON PLANET WANTS TO BE FUCKING FRIENDS WITH A GIRL.

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Nae. I been friends with gals that r Lesbians.

[WhitneySnow]

A lot of guys are like this but not all

[Agape93]

Nope not in my experience

[RavVid]

You are on the money.

[Nifrayu]

No. I just want to have friends.

[Crazzyyworld]

Sex and money is all we need

[Hotboy_booblover]

Most of the time