Are guys ever interested in really being friends with girls?

Question

I've had seemingly really awesome guys become friends with me, only for them to eventually learn on their own that I have a boyfriend. Than they'll break off the 'friendship' and act like they absolutely hate me. So, is a guy trying to friend a girl only him trying to get with her? Why can't guys and girl be real friends without one trying to bang the other.

TastyBiscuits · Accepted Answer

Hi.

It is possible. I know this because I have about 10-15 close female friends. I'm a straight male and currently not in a relationship.

Of those women, 3 of them are very close friends, the kind who hang out with me regularly and are a part of my day to day conversations. There isn't anything sexual between us (unless I'm oblivious but I doubt it), I would compare my friendship with them directly to that of my male best friends. We talk crap, hang out, eat food and just get on with life moaning about relationships, jobs, dreams all the standard stuff.

I have thought about a couple of them in a sexual way, but in more of a dream in my head, wake up think wtf am I thinking go back to sleep sort of thing.

At no point do I feel the need to be more then friend with them. They aren't unattractive I just don't fancy them or see a relationship there. Probably because I got to know them as a person rather than just assessing them on their bust.

But I would say that for a large proportion of men out there it isn't possible without there being some sexual tension or wanting more regardless of wanting a relationship or just sex.

As for friend zones yeh they exist for both sexes and oh well. Just a case of seeing if you can value you friendship with someone who doesn't return the feelings and if you can see them only as a friend. If not then distance yourself and move on (easier said then done).

syedhsnali · Accepted Answer

Hey there Xper. Cool name.

Unfortunately, that's a really great question.
I say that because today one has to be cautious when it comes to friends. It's true, we guys tend to cross lines all of a sudden most to the time.

For the sake of answering the question, I'll share some of my experiences.

Guys who haven't had much interaction with females and much much more with males tend to exhibit this behaviour. It's because, I think, we guys normally chat and joke a lot about girls during 'boy hangouts'. And in that discussion, girls take the role of girlfriends. So whenever we approach any beautiful and attractive girl, we instinctively tend to do our best in impressing her and gaining her trust so that we can 'go to next level'.

But to answer your question. Yes, boys and girls make excellent friends and guys do genuinely take interest in girls for the se purpose of friendship.

Don't worry about it, you'll find some dumb boy friends after a few dumb boys.

Hope it helps. Share your thoughts.

TisforTori · Accepted Answer

Many guys don’t talk openly with their male friends. They crave that ability to let their guard down. But they associate that with a romantic interest. Whereas most women who have female friends genuinely appreciate having friends to talk to and so male/ female doesn’t make a difference to them. They see a friendship as a desired thing. With no need for more like a boyfriend. This can confuse some men. Which leads us to angry guys bitching about the friend zone. Which translates to she only wants to talk and hangout, share troubles and laughs. But she won’t have sex with me!!! That’s the sucky thing. A woman thinks they have a real friend. But the guy can often feel cheated out of more. I think if more men were comfortable being vulnerable with each other this problem would decrease. They’d understand that just because one friend has a penis and another a vagina doesn’t mean I want something different from one of them. But yes some do want friendship it’s just usually we end up with these others.

silverqueen · Accepted Answer

Some guys are certainly manipulative and have ulterior motives. But other guys genuinely like you as friends. Even if you’re attractive, if you show that you can be a guy’s friend, they’ll see you as a friend more than a girl they’d like to bang. Other times they’ll fall for you because they admire you as a person. It really goes both ways, because women also see specific guys as dating material and others as “just friends” despite the guy’s good looks. The way they act gives off a vibe of dating material or simply friend material. It doesn’t always rely on looks (for men and for women).

BasSaarebas · Accepted Answer

I’ve had a male best friend for seven years now. There was a point in time where he really liked me but he also was the one to introduce me to basically every boyfriend I’ve had. My current boyfriend went a little crazy about it, but when he realized that I wasn’t gonna ditch my best friend for a date he chilled out a little. He’s very much still convinced that it’s impossible to be just friends with the opposite sex. Come to think of it, all of my longest lasting friendships have been guys, so I really think it just requires a level of maturity and respect.

mrbrain · Answer

Because if you like a girl it feels like it's the next natural step. If you are friends (versus some random girl) sex will not only be physically but also psychologically potentially much more satisfying. Sex is good, sex and friendship is always better. It's counterintuitive not to try to have sex if your situation naturally makes better sex possible for both. It's like not cashing in a lottery ticket. We would feel stupid not taking advantage of what seems like a mutually beneficial situation. But if we figure out much later you have a monogamous friend we feel quite used and we may avoid you in the future. You withhold information to make yourself look like there is so much more potential for a human connection than there really is. It makes us put efforts only to realize that there is a limit on what's possible. You create false hopes by not being straightforward from the beginning. You know intuitively you would have much less male friends if you said it from the beginning so you lie by omission to maintain the size of your social support structure as if you were available. You need to say those things from the beginning. It may shrink your social circle because not many guys are interested to get stuck in a friendzone but you won't gain reputation of being manipulative and exploitative. If I like a girl who says has a boyfriend from the begonning and I decide to hang out around her anyway, that's an informed choice and I can't complain later. If I fall in love, that's on my stupidity then. But if I suddenly get myself stuck in a friendzone when I thought I could deepen the connection towards intimacy that's a conflict of interest, wasted life time and resources. Just let us know from the beginning and we can't hate you later.

yeahbaby7783 · Answer

This is my first response I just started. It seemed to me that none of these questions or yes no. Because people very so much. Yes you can generalize people to stereotype them but that doesn't go for everyone I would say that 90% of men I don't have any female friends they wouldn't have sex with maybe acquaintances coworkers people that are friendly with. But that's not a friend. A friend is a person that you have common interests with. Most men and women are different in that respect the only time then usually take the effort of time to make friends with a woman because somewhere deep down. Given the opportunity, men can't trust themselves. I have 40 years old I've been married for 17 years I've never cheated on my wife never will I. Why because I'm not attracted to anybody else in the world? No. I don't because I don't want to. I would not want to be friends with another woman outside my wife and I had chemistry with and felt attracted to because I would feel like I was doing something wrong. I wouldn't want my wife doing the same thing. However out of all people I met I know two women that I could be friends with.

e3rrr · Answer

Asking that question is like asking why don't [most] women see us men as anything other than an idiotic meal ticket they eventually "downgrade" to. Upon lowering sometimes unrealistic expectations, if at all, technically not possible when considering the psychology of our biological propensities. Friendship is possible, but usually not without characteristic attachments among those being absolutely true to themselves, and others. Selfish as it is shameful to admit, and being completely honest here, girls want punks, (good or bad, the latter of which preferably "redeemed," largely unsuccessfully before settling down themselves) who they can, regardless of whom, manipulate and walk over, telling meaningless stories to, while us guys just want a plethora of bitches conquered and seeded before we die. In the simplest of terms, anything amounting to just that would naturally accrue friendship, provided either party hasn't abandoned their ultimate intent. Somewhere in there, platonic relationships precipitate out as a function of a much greater cause we'd rather keep hidden.

GreenGold1992 · Answer

Personally, I usually try to get with girls because I like them. If I find out they're unavailable, it doesn't change anything, I may still have feelings for them, but I'm willing to stay friends with them. It's really stupid and immature for a guy to break off a friendship with a girl for a reason like that. Sure I understand that it might bum them out once they realize there's no chance to get together like that, but I think it's better to be friends than nothing at all. I might still have feelings for them, but I try to not let that get in the way and I'll treat them just like my other female friends who I'm not even attracted to.
by the way, is your profile pic really of you? If so, you're very beautiful and I bet your boyfriend is very happy and lucky.

10dsw · Answer

I hate to sound sexist but many guys simply have no interest in being friends with women without sex involved.

Some real talk: women are amazing - but they're really not interesting to men in any capacity other than for relationships and sex. Many women thrive and drama and gossip and other topics that most guys find boring and mundane. There are few men that are actually going to hang around women to take part in this talk just to take part in this talk...

rednekreeder · Answer

This is a very situational based issue. I believe that most men are capable of being friends with women, however they do not necessarily seek them out for reasons such as, their differing interest, their own feelings of attraction for you are strong and the fact that you do not feel the same is a form of rejection or a number of other answers. Really it comes down to the guy

SketchForger · Answer

Trust me, there are a lot of girls I'm cool with being friends with, and NOT interested in sleeping/having a relationship with. Some girls have this self perceived image that they're so attractive that nobody can be "just friends" with them. It's kind of sad sometimes. Not directing this at you by the way, just at certain types of people.

CrispyChestnuts · Answer

For me personally I am attracted to every friend I have, male or female. I personally find myself attracted sexually to larger females, so my most successful friendships with females tend to be with more petite ladies since there's only the intellectual or emotional attraction. It really helps prevent me from ruining a good thing. Being upfront about the boyfriend would help, but any number of things could make a person delude themselves that they 'just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score.' (not even kidding that is a verbatim quote I've heard) Maybe the best advice is to temper your expectations. Friendships with the opposite gender are more likely to blow up in your face, but I think they can be worth it.

Makeuphoarder · Answer

It comes with the territory, they only want to be friends when they find you attractive or you make them feel needed or of some importance. Like every relationship, you expect to gain something from it. If they see that the friendship isn't benefitting them in any way then they'd rather break it off.

That1tallguy · Answer

I dont get why guys go that route only want to be friends to move on to become more or nothing else. If I was attracted to her and wasn't looking to just be friends I would make it clear by asking her out on a date. If I wasn't attracted to her but we got along well I would be more then happy to be just friends. Trying to become friends with only an alternative motive is a waste of time.

Kuraj · Answer

Possibly. I would just keep in mind, that people rarely just reach out to others with the intent to "be friends".
Most friendships are established through a happenstance, and most people already have enough friends.

If someone goes out their way to reach out to you, they must have motivation to do that.
And "looking for friends" is rarely anyone's motivation.

NineBreaker · Answer

Sometimes, yes. Mostly, no. There has to be a context for a friendship, whether a guy's friends are men or women. Men tend to make more male friends because their interests and lifestyles are more likely to align. For example, if you're an engineering student, the majority of your friends from school will be men. If a guy is in nursing or dental hygiene school, the overwhelming majority of his friends from school would be women.

PeekABooItsMe · Answer

And that's why gay guys are great friends. Because they don't want you, they want to be your friend and they won't try to get with you!

I had a close friend in Highschool who came out after highschool was over, but he was a great friend, me and my ex (BF at the time) went to meet him and a couple of his friends and my friend took me from my boyfriend and started dancing with me as his whole group were stupidly drunk. One of few good memories i have!

weenieroast · Answer

No. Hell no! Other than for school or work there is no reason to associate with any member of the opposite sex, ever. Especially hot chicks. We don't need that extra frustration of not being able to bang. Also, if you're in a relationship you really gotta keep an eye on the amount of time you spend interacting with the opposite sex because time eventually becomes comfort.

Anonymous · Answer

Its possible, but guys who would do that and are single are rare. I didn't grew up with many girls around me... i mean... they didn't really talk to me. It would be very nice to have a girl as a friend, because girls are in general more open than guys and i am able to talk about many more things with them; without them getting bored. Its so sad.. that all girls around me just think, i am flirting with them, when i talk to them ( not work related situations)

AlphaGhost · Answer

I think females friends are very good source of knowledge regarding the things about girlfriend behaviour. I even find some girls, defined by their ex's as the cheating whore very very loyal friends.
I think it goes both ways cuz majority of woman even in 21st century usually force you to cut contact with all female friends, if you want to date her.

Logorithim · Answer

Absolutely. Female friends are great company, too. Admittedly, it can be easier if you're both in a relationship so that there isn't the neediness and temptation that often occurs when you're both single. Two of my longtime friends are more like sisters to me than my own sister.

wilyt123 · Answer

I would say a large majority of guys are looking for a quick way to some kind of relationship. I personally have a girl friend who I always rely on to be there for me and always is. She's an amazing friend! She is also dating a guy who is really good to her. It doesn't bug me at all. Unfortunately I don't see many other people who are like or accept that kind of friendship. It may also be the social environment of where I live. It is sad that this is happening to you, but it really is hard to be close with a guy and keep it strictly as friends. Hope this helps

Canuck37 · Answer

I am interested in being friends with girls. My closest friends are girls.

However, if she has a boyfriend, it can lead to private accusations that I'm intruding on his turf, which may lead me to cool things off with her, even if all I wanted to do was be her friend.

nirado · Answer

Yes we do but it's usually like if I know you since I was younger and I still have no interest in you but you are still my friend or if for example I got to a class with you and we sit together so I become friends with you even tho I have no interest or if you are a friend's girlfriend. Any other case, if not for some gain, why would I be friends with you?

lostfire · Answer

I think it's because women are very specific when it comes to how a man looks or acts, so when these guys are rejected they probably think the girl doesn't think he's "manly" enough, and that's the easiest way to hurt a man. The reason why men may act more offended in such situations could simply be because men are more competitive among each other, so it's not about the girl, it's about how her views on him could affect his status in society

The evidence for the fact that men are judged more harshly lies in porn, there's really only one type of guys in porn, while there are all types of women in porn except for the completely shapeless, then there is open racism in porn done by porn sites like BLACKED. com, which basically pits white guys against black guys, and you've got everyone in porn with dicks that are so much bigger than the average dick, etc

For the record: I'm neither white, nor really a guy

Losalt · Answer

Yes, we most definitivly can be friends with girls...
That said, things can quickly get... complicated... with a boyfriend involved...
Even if we do *not* want to get into a particular girls pants that doesn't mean that her boyfriend might not *feel* that we may...
That said, I'd probably handle the situation differently from your male friends...

Russwill · Answer

They can it's just most guys are dogs and only out for one thing! Or they break it off thinking your boyfriends gonna get upset and confront them... I know from this happening to me that one of my best friends s. o. said there no way we could be just friends that there's more going on!

isbey · Answer

I have plenty of genuine friends who are girls. It just really depends. I've also pretended to be a girls friends when I really wanted to date her. I regret doing that. Men and women can absolutely be friends

Omar5881 · Answer

a lot of guys don't realise how important to have a female friend , I myself have a lot and they are friends nothing more like I'd even feel weird to think about it this way , after all it teaches you a lot about women and how to deal with them for men with minimum experience

Tanyapiut · Answer

I think no! In my experience they only want to fuck you

Anonymous · Answer

Yes but they shouldn't have to eventually find out on their own. They likely started talking to you because they were interested and not being single will make them move on. They'd need to know in the beginning so they can make up their mind on whether or not friendship is what they are looking for in you and that they'll be satisfied with just that with you. I hang out with the guys but female friends are a ton of fun too. I also managed to keep some girls I've dated as friends, which has worked out well. I'd explain gently that I didn't find what I was looking for in them but we have a lot of fun together and they respected that. Sometimes if we're both single, we take advantage as friends with benefits. If either of us are in a relationship, we totally respect each other and only communicate as friends. I've found it pretty easy to do and it's refreshing to just cut through the BS and be drama free.

seraphs · Answer

Friendship is based on mutual respect, a true friend is someone who will be hard on you when you are doing wrong but who will forgive you each time, it doesn't mean you have to accept its desires any time specially if you are a girl, there are some rules to be established and followed, friend zone only, no shameful remarks in front of others, no attacks toward the family, and then friendship is possible

Roadrunner_650 · Answer

A lot of guys tend to be a little playful with girls if it's not physically touching and word games and out of precautions when a girl is taken they avoid that almost at all costs to avoid drama so it's kind of self-explanatory. but it's difficult to pinpoint the reason why they become strangers I said being so friendly with you it just depends on the intention of the person

Itachi007Q · Answer

Every guy has a different mindset. Some just want to bang or want a girlfriend but there are few who really want to be just a friend. you can definitely find one if u keep trying and now if u know very well the mindset of former ones then you can easily find out who wants what

EmmanuelMurder · Answer

I have female friends that I'm not interested in. A lot of the time a guy will stop being your friend when they find out you have a boyfriend is because they know how they'd feel if their girlfriend was hanging around with a dude a lot.

datgirl · Answer

I think guys-or anybody in general- that think men and women cannot be friends are extremely immature and ignorant and also just very horny. Most of my most trusted and most valued friends have always been guys and yes while they may have attempted to pursue me at first or have probably had sexual thoughts of me they respected the friendship too much and that's what i appreciate most. So, to answer your question: yes men and women can absolutely be just friends.

CT_CD · Answer

Honestly, usually they're not. In my experience most guys don't care about about being friends with or hanging with women like they do their male friends. None of my friends have female friends and don't usually hang out with women unless she's his girlfriend or sex is involved. Gay guys usually have tons of female friends though.

Pamina · Answer

I don't think I could take a guy seriously who doesn't want to have female friends. Same goes for women who don't want to have male friends. It's just very silly and makes me question their maturity.

SilverRain92 · Answer

I was always intrrested in being friends with a girl.
A guy may have only one girlfriend. But he may have a lot of female friends who are not controlling and don't care if you sleep with anyone or not. They can always give you an advice. That's awesome.

msego · Answer

Its really hard to tell sometimes. I really like my girl friend but I don't wanna lose having her there. so I try to be a good friend to her bc she needs that more than a relationship. Some people can see that I like her but I still try to keep my distance and not get too close. I really do like her but keep her at a distance. She sometimes thinks I'm an asshole for doing that but id rather be the bad guy than ruin our friendship.

x3mtsjovt · Answer

To my knowledge and experience - absolutely yes. Doesn't sound like particularly awesome guys. Perhaps you can save yourself disappointments like that if to make it clear earlier on that you are looking for a friendship and/or that you have a boyfriend?

Im_a_boy · Answer

I did have a girl friend that i wasn't attracted to i just used to like her company but after a while i did end up having weird feelings about her. I didn't ask her out or anything cause she just wasn't my type.

I haven't talked to her much since I've come out of high school.

Zeriya · Answer

Yes definitely. There are lots of girls I enjoy being close to and never thought about us as anymore than just close friends.

rain_maker112 · Answer

Totally, nothing is wrong with it, but dating is spending time wtih each other ALONE. The boundary must not be walked across. "Then what do I do?" Hanging out in groups. There is absolutely no problem with that.

024redrum · Answer

Some of us actually are looking for friends but a lot of guys even if looking for friends once we find out u have a boyfriend feel as if your just gonna push us away because your boyfriend won't want u around us so we make it easier on us both and just ghost

wizzkidtv · Answer

I mean if I were you I would make my intentions clear right away. Therefor you both are on the same page and tracking. I have girls that are friends and not because I dont find them attractive or pretty, or because of relationship status just because its good to have people of the opposite gender to talk to stuff about. Its honestly different with every guy and what they are looking for when you start talking to them.

stifler1979 · Answer

To answer your first question: many guys often befriend girls secretly wanting to be more than friends.

Answer to second question: Guys and girls often can be friends without trying to bang one another.

Rejoiceextremez · Answer

I guess everyone needs a chance at something. and girls either way don't give a fuck about guys when their boyfriend is present so that's that. so they try to drawback before getting hurt or if they are afraid or respect the boyfriend and the girl

Dtegesd123 · Answer

I tend to make it obvious my intentions with any type of relationship. I don't really keep my type of girlfriend material girls as friends or at least not close friends. I am friends with some pretty girls though.

ManOnFire · Answer

There are plenty of women I don't mind being friends with who I'm not attracted to. But if I am I still want to be your friend, romantic partner, and sex object.

BigDaddy75 · Answer

I have a couple of female friends i love to death and they will always be in my heart and cherish them with no romantic connection just friendship

jordan2018 · Answer

They can sometime but you have to have known them your whole life. Guys that meet you never really want to be friends. If the take the initiative to talk to you there looking for something more then friends

AndrewHeath · Answer

No, there needs to be a revolution where woman break up with men to be single. Or you'll never earn the trust of a man. Think about it, you just started your relationship by cheating on previous person you were with. Single people never help each other out either which is mindblowing. The answer is no again. I believe in professional relationships between men and women but that's about it.

Spiritcivic · Answer

that's because when you meet someone new, it is in ours and yours dna to analyse that person as a potential partner, so when you get to know someone close enough you start to look forward and there is another thing offering a friendship keep bouth emotionally immune if things won't go further...

adambomb420 · Answer

Some r yes but mostof no I doubt it. Put them to the test. Have him hang out with u andI ur nd and c if he thinks he is cool or just trying to come between u guys.

zaza111 · Answer

I had a few male friends, BUT all wanted to be more than just friends at some point in our friendships...

Chaoseverywhere · Answer

yeah i can. Girls can't, they always fall. So don't make friends with females anymore. Maybe online is ok? dunno. I can. Females can't probably just an isolated case.

studDMuffF1n · Answer

Well you can get a gay guy friend. Look I'm not waisting my time with a girl that I wouldn't mind fucking. I might hang out with for her to inevitably hook me up with her friends. That's pretty much it the rest is fake.

jaymeein · Answer

what can i say? straight guys don't want girl friends they want a girlfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

We try to be , although one problem, a girl catches you with or talking to another girl , we loose both at the same time. You women fight a most yourself and call 1-800-snitch constantly and leave us eventually high and dry.. So in retrpect , how does so called non-sexual friendship like proposed supossed to work exactly. ?

Anonymous · Answer

i truly believe guys befriend mostly girls they are attracted to but who knows maybe im wrong

Naruto_Uzumaki · Answer

That's a tough question. It depends on how good you get along with each other and what you expect from the friendship

UltimateGohan · Answer

Nope

dropkicknj13 · Answer

Nope, they just wanna be with you, can't be real friends because the only reason they even notice you exist is because they want you

Are guys ever interested in really being friends with girls?

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Do guys ever just want to be friends with a girl?

Are guys ever interested in really being friends with girls?

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Do guys ever just want to be friends with a girl?

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