Hi.
It is possible. I know this because I have about 10-15 close female friends. I'm a straight male and currently not in a relationship.
Of those women, 3 of them are very close friends, the kind who hang out with me regularly and are a part of my day to day conversations. There isn't anything sexual between us (unless I'm oblivious but I doubt it), I would compare my friendship with them directly to that of my male best friends. We talk crap, hang out, eat food and just get on with life moaning about relationships, jobs, dreams all the standard stuff.
I have thought about a couple of them in a sexual way, but in more of a dream in my head, wake up think wtf am I thinking go back to sleep sort of thing.
At no point do I feel the need to be more then friend with them. They aren't unattractive I just don't fancy them or see a relationship there. Probably because I got to know them as a person rather than just assessing them on their bust.
But I would say that for a large proportion of men out there it isn't possible without there being some sexual tension or wanting more regardless of wanting a relationship or just sex.
As for friend zones yeh they exist for both sexes and oh well. Just a case of seeing if you can value you friendship with someone who doesn't return the feelings and if you can see them only as a friend. If not then distance yourself and move on (easier said then done).
Hey there Xper. Cool name.
Unfortunately, that's a really great question.
I say that because today one has to be cautious when it comes to friends. It's true, we guys tend to cross lines all of a sudden most to the time.
For the sake of answering the question, I'll share some of my experiences.
Guys who haven't had much interaction with females and much much more with males tend to exhibit this behaviour. It's because, I think, we guys normally chat and joke a lot about girls during 'boy hangouts'. And in that discussion, girls take the role of girlfriends. So whenever we approach any beautiful and attractive girl, we instinctively tend to do our best in impressing her and gaining her trust so that we can 'go to next level'.
But to answer your question. Yes, boys and girls make excellent friends and guys do genuinely take interest in girls for the se purpose of friendship.
Don't worry about it, you'll find some dumb boy friends after a few dumb boys.
Hope it helps. Share your thoughts.
Many guys don’t talk openly with their male friends. They crave that ability to let their guard down. But they associate that with a romantic interest. Whereas most women who have female friends genuinely appreciate having friends to talk to and so male/ female doesn’t make a difference to them. They see a friendship as a desired thing. With no need for more like a boyfriend. This can confuse some men. Which leads us to angry guys bitching about the friend zone. Which translates to she only wants to talk and hangout, share troubles and laughs. But she won’t have sex with me!!! That’s the sucky thing. A woman thinks they have a real friend. But the guy can often feel cheated out of more. I think if more men were comfortable being vulnerable with each other this problem would decrease. They’d understand that just because one friend has a penis and another a vagina doesn’t mean I want something different from one of them. But yes some do want friendship it’s just usually we end up with these others.
Some guys are certainly manipulative and have ulterior motives. But other guys genuinely like you as friends. Even if you’re attractive, if you show that you can be a guy’s friend, they’ll see you as a friend more than a girl they’d like to bang. Other times they’ll fall for you because they admire you as a person. It really goes both ways, because women also see specific guys as dating material and others as “just friends” despite the guy’s good looks. The way they act gives off a vibe of dating material or simply friend material. It doesn’t always rely on looks (for men and for women).
I’ve had a male best friend for seven years now. There was a point in time where he really liked me but he also was the one to introduce me to basically every boyfriend I’ve had. My current boyfriend went a little crazy about it, but when he realized that I wasn’t gonna ditch my best friend for a date he chilled out a little. He’s very much still convinced that it’s impossible to be just friends with the opposite sex. Come to think of it, all of my longest lasting friendships have been guys, so I really think it just requires a level of maturity and respect.
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Because if you like a girl it feels like it's the next natural step. If you are friends (versus some random girl) sex will not only be physically but also psychologically potentially much more satisfying. Sex is good, sex and friendship is always better. It's counterintuitive not to try to have sex if your situation naturally makes better sex possible for both. It's like not cashing in a lottery ticket. We would feel stupid not taking advantage of what seems like a mutually beneficial situation. But if we figure out much later you have a monogamous friend we feel quite used and we may avoid you in the future. You withhold information to make yourself look like there is so much more potential for a human connection than there really is. It makes us put efforts only to realize that there is a limit on what's possible. You create false hopes by not being straightforward from the beginning. You know intuitively you would have much less male friends if you said it from the beginning so you lie by omission to maintain the size of your social support structure as if you were available. You need to say those things from the beginning. It may shrink your social circle because not many guys are interested to get stuck in a friendzone but you won't gain reputation of being manipulative and exploitative. If I like a girl who says has a boyfriend from the begonning and I decide to hang out around her anyway, that's an informed choice and I can't complain later. If I fall in love, that's on my stupidity then. But if I suddenly get myself stuck in a friendzone when I thought I could deepen the connection towards intimacy that's a conflict of interest, wasted life time and resources. Just let us know from the beginning and we can't hate you later.
This is my first response I just started. It seemed to me that none of these questions or yes no. Because people very so much. Yes you can generalize people to stereotype them but that doesn't go for everyone I would say that 90% of men I don't have any female friends they wouldn't have sex with maybe acquaintances coworkers people that are friendly with. But that's not a friend. A friend is a person that you have common interests with. Most men and women are different in that respect the only time then usually take the effort of time to make friends with a woman because somewhere deep down. Given the opportunity, men can't trust themselves. I have 40 years old I've been married for 17 years I've never cheated on my wife never will I. Why because I'm not attracted to anybody else in the world? No. I don't because I don't want to. I would not want to be friends with another woman outside my wife and I had chemistry with and felt attracted to because I would feel like I was doing something wrong. I wouldn't want my wife doing the same thing. However out of all people I met I know two women that I could be friends with.
Asking that question is like asking why don't [most] women see us men as anything other than an idiotic meal ticket they eventually "downgrade" to. Upon lowering sometimes unrealistic expectations, if at all, technically not possible when considering the psychology of our biological propensities. Friendship is possible, but usually not without characteristic attachments among those being absolutely true to themselves, and others. Selfish as it is shameful to admit, and being completely honest here, girls want punks, (good or bad, the latter of which preferably "redeemed," largely unsuccessfully before settling down themselves) who they can, regardless of whom, manipulate and walk over, telling meaningless stories to, while us guys just want a plethora of bitches conquered and seeded before we die. In the simplest of terms, anything amounting to just that would naturally accrue friendship, provided either party hasn't abandoned their ultimate intent. Somewhere in there, platonic relationships precipitate out as a function of a much greater cause we'd rather keep hidden.
Personally, I usually try to get with girls because I like them. If I find out they're unavailable, it doesn't change anything, I may still have feelings for them, but I'm willing to stay friends with them. It's really stupid and immature for a guy to break off a friendship with a girl for a reason like that. Sure I understand that it might bum them out once they realize there's no chance to get together like that, but I think it's better to be friends than nothing at all. I might still have feelings for them, but I try to not let that get in the way and I'll treat them just like my other female friends who I'm not even attracted to.
by the way, is your profile pic really of you? If so, you're very beautiful and I bet your boyfriend is very happy and lucky.
I hate to sound sexist but many guys simply have no interest in being friends with women without sex involved.
Some real talk: women are amazing - but they're really not interesting to men in any capacity other than for relationships and sex. Many women thrive and drama and gossip and other topics that most guys find boring and mundane. There are few men that are actually going to hang around women to take part in this talk just to take part in this talk...
This is a very situational based issue. I believe that most men are capable of being friends with women, however they do not necessarily seek them out for reasons such as, their differing interest, their own feelings of attraction for you are strong and the fact that you do not feel the same is a form of rejection or a number of other answers. Really it comes down to the guy
Trust me, there are a lot of girls I'm cool with being friends with, and NOT interested in sleeping/having a relationship with. Some girls have this self perceived image that they're so attractive that nobody can be "just friends" with them. It's kind of sad sometimes. Not directing this at you by the way, just at certain types of people.
For me personally I am attracted to every friend I have, male or female. I personally find myself attracted sexually to larger females, so my most successful friendships with females tend to be with more petite ladies since there's only the intellectual or emotional attraction. It really helps prevent me from ruining a good thing. Being upfront about the boyfriend would help, but any number of things could make a person delude themselves that they 'just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score.' (not even kidding that is a verbatim quote I've heard) Maybe the best advice is to temper your expectations. Friendships with the opposite gender are more likely to blow up in your face, but I think they can be worth it.
It comes with the territory, they only want to be friends when they find you attractive or you make them feel needed or of some importance. Like every relationship, you expect to gain something from it. If they see that the friendship isn't benefitting them in any way then they'd rather break it off.
Possibly. I would just keep in mind, that people rarely just reach out to others with the intent to "be friends".
Most friendships are established through a happenstance, and most people already have enough friends.
If someone goes out their way to reach out to you, they must have motivation to do that.
And "looking for friends" is rarely anyone's motivation.
I dont get why guys go that route only want to be friends to move on to become more or nothing else. If I was attracted to her and wasn't looking to just be friends I would make it clear by asking her out on a date. If I wasn't attracted to her but we got along well I would be more then happy to be just friends. Trying to become friends with only an alternative motive is a waste of time.
Sometimes, yes. Mostly, no. There has to be a context for a friendship, whether a guy's friends are men or women. Men tend to make more male friends because their interests and lifestyles are more likely to align. For example, if you're an engineering student, the majority of your friends from school will be men. If a guy is in nursing or dental hygiene school, the overwhelming majority of his friends from school would be women.
And that's why gay guys are great friends. Because they don't want you, they want to be your friend and they won't try to get with you!
I had a close friend in Highschool who came out after highschool was over, but he was a great friend, me and my ex (BF at the time) went to meet him and a couple of his friends and my friend took me from my boyfriend and started dancing with me as his whole group were stupidly drunk. One of few good memories i have!
No. Hell no! Other than for school or work there is no reason to associate with any member of the opposite sex, ever. Especially hot chicks. We don't need that extra frustration of not being able to bang. Also, if you're in a relationship you really gotta keep an eye on the amount of time you spend interacting with the opposite sex because time eventually becomes comfort.
Its possible, but guys who would do that and are single are rare. I didn't grew up with many girls around me... i mean... they didn't really talk to me. It would be very nice to have a girl as a friend, because girls are in general more open than guys and i am able to talk about many more things with them; without them getting bored. Its so sad.. that all girls around me just think, i am flirting with them, when i talk to them ( not work related situations)
I think females friends are very good source of knowledge regarding the things about girlfriend behaviour. I even find some girls, defined by their ex's as the cheating whore very very loyal friends.
I think it goes both ways cuz majority of woman even in 21st century usually force you to cut contact with all female friends, if you want to date her.
Absolutely. Female friends are great company, too. Admittedly, it can be easier if you're both in a relationship so that there isn't the neediness and temptation that often occurs when you're both single. Two of my longtime friends are more like sisters to me than my own sister.
I would say a large majority of guys are looking for a quick way to some kind of relationship. I personally have a girl friend who I always rely on to be there for me and always is. She's an amazing friend! She is also dating a guy who is really good to her. It doesn't bug me at all. Unfortunately I don't see many other people who are like or accept that kind of friendship. It may also be the social environment of where I live. It is sad that this is happening to you, but it really is hard to be close with a guy and keep it strictly as friends. Hope this helps
I am interested in being friends with girls. My closest friends are girls.
However, if she has a boyfriend, it can lead to private accusations that I'm intruding on his turf, which may lead me to cool things off with her, even if all I wanted to do was be her friend.
Yes we do but it's usually like if I know you since I was younger and I still have no interest in you but you are still my friend or if for example I got to a class with you and we sit together so I become friends with you even tho I have no interest or if you are a friend's girlfriend. Any other case, if not for some gain, why would I be friends with you?
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