I feel hopeless?

[Anonymous]

I just escaped from a really bad 10 year relationship where I was imprisoned in the home, attacked, dragged, SA, gaslit, manipulated, cheated on and forced to watch etc etc

Now I’m free but super lonely and feel completely undatable. I’m really skinny and weak from years of not being allowed to eat, I’ve developed a bunch of nervous ticks, and just any man now causes an absolute terror. But still, I want to love someone and be with someone. But if I’m around a guy I cannot help but cower in fear of being dragged, hit, restrained, stolen, SA, etc etc. I’ve developed a really bad nervous tick where if my body touches another guy, even just a hug, I start almost seizuring. I just convulse and can’t speak and shake and get nausea. I feel completely unlovable. I guess are there men out there willing to put up with a completely broken woman? I believe I can make a full recovery, but it will take a long time and I will probably need assistance.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

That's really a lot of shit you've been into :(

Like other people said here, therapy is the way, it's the only right way given what you have experienced ! I know you want to rush into dating because you want love and it's very understandable ofc, but... As you already said, you can't right now because your level of stress is too high, it will not work well with a guy. Priority is to rebuild trust, what has been lost, to compensate for this.

You are not broken at all, you have suffered and you will get to recover 🙏🏼

[Nirmroth]

Then get this assistance you need and dont throw yourself on the market if you're still broken and hurting ain't no fair to anyone involved with you.

10 years is a long time and it sounds horrible what you experienced so give it time to proberly work trough it. Ofc you will feel lonely thats normal even if it was abuse you were never alone up until now. Again give it time to get used to it. Hearing this sucks as you can only help yourself trough therapie so far but time is really your biggest ally but requieres patience.

[Anonymous]

Definitely therapy first before even considering a relationship. This is trauma you could really use professional assistance with at least getting started healing. Praying for you honey.

[MasterKS]

You need proper help and assistance, a proper guide will surely help you come out from this trauma!