I feel so lost and hopeless, what should I do?

[SeanshterMonster]

Everything feels pointless and meaningless. Everything in life is going down hill and I got nothing going for me. Ill never make enough money to live on my own let alone ever own a home so ill never be able to build the garden I've always wanted to. I can never seem to get good enough at anything I do like I can't learn at all no matter how many hours and hours i try every single day.

I want to make good art but i can't ever seem to get better at that, im not even good at the things i try to enjoy despite spending many years of my life trying to do these things. I can never hold down a job cause im again not good enough at anything and will always mess something up to get me fired somehow.

im 23 and I got nothing. im not smart or skilled. my reaction time is over half a second for visual or audio. Im colorblind, autistic, and ADHD. I try so hard to get better at anything and I can't ever keep something going. im always hitting a wall with everything I do. I've drawn and painted for years and im no better when I started. I've tried to learn languages but the moment i dont practice for a day or two i forget everything I learned. I can't memorize anything at all.

With all this on top of the world getting worse and worse day by day even if i somehow got a decent job that payed 60-80k a year ill still never own a home cause who know. 10 years later houses that were 400k today now are 1m. pay will never go up and everything will get more expensive until i can't afford to eat anymore. I can't write for anything and im bad at school no matter how many hours i devote into anything. Im always failing my family and friends, im not a very good DM for my friends no matter how many hours i put into practice. and before anyone says anything no, i can't get anything to help with my ADHD despite how much i want to cause its just too expensive. I'm lost.

[MrOracle]

You need to start by setting some ACHIEVABLE goals. Owning your own house, especially today, is a big step. Most people can't afford to do it on their own, so you aren't all that different.

Look into either a mobile home (which you can buy outright used for remarkably cheap, but you'll still have to rent a space for it to set on) or a "tiny home". These cost a fraction of what a traditional house costs, and you can own something of your own.

Do you know anything about demographics? One of the biggest segments of the population is the Boomer generation (the post-WWII baby boomers), and most of them will be dying off over the next 10 years. This SHOULD have meant that housing would be much more available, because the following generations are smaller, HOWEVER Biden has just spent the last 4 years importing 10 million illegal immigrants who will ensure housing prices remain high. You can help everyone by voting against politicians who support illegal immigration.

The point is: find a goal that you can ACHIEVE, such as a tiny home or a mobile home, and work on that. Even that may take several years to achieve, but you can actually see your progress over that time. Resolve to save every penny you can - when you are tempted to buy something discretionary, remind yourself that you are delaying your "big purchase" and try to avoid spending that money. Watch your savings grow towards your goal.

The other thing is continue to learn and improve. Yes, it may be harder for you than most, but you can still overcome those challenges - people who are MUCH worse off than you have done so. A big part of it is believing in yourself, and setting ACHIEVABLE goals, not goals so difficult that it will take you decades to achieve. Find a better job - it doesn't have to be your dream job, just anything that gets you one step closer. After you've been there a year, start looking for an even better job, and continue that pattern every year. You move up the ranks much faster by changing jobs than you do waiting to be promoted from within (that sucks, but it's a reality of life).

Be frugal, and appreciate what you DO have and the small things you HAVE achieved, rather than focusing so much on the ones that seem impossible. I can't tell you how much a positive attitude will change things, and you really just have to DECIDE to think positively. That's both super easy and very difficult - the latter because you have to admit (and continuously remind yourself) that your old way of thinking was wrong, and that's hard for most people to do.

[SeanshterMonster]

I just wish I could do something creative and be good at it. I love to create. I strive to make things, either it he art or practical things. I just wish I was actually good at them and it ment somthing but I'm never good enough and never improve no matter what I do.

[MrOracle]

Hey, I get it. I got very little of that "creative gene" and I would have loved to have been a better musician, but a great musician needs a LOT of that creative side of the brain, and I just don't have it. I can remember lyrics and I have a desire to sing, but my singing voice is abysmal.

You'll find that everyone misses the things they don't have or can't do. That's okay, but you have to learn to focus on what you CAN do, even if it's not the thing you dream of doing. Sometimes our dreams just aren't in alignment with our capabilities. Instead of fighting it, work on finding something that is a good fit for the skills and talents you DO have, and do the thing you love as a hobby on the side.

[SeanshterMonster]

That's the thing. I'm not good at anything. I don't have any talents or skills that are good enough. I feel like I can get mediocre at a lot of things but never better than that. I'm always below average no matter how hard I strive for greatness

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey man, I can tell you're really struggling right now and feeling hopeless. That's an awful place to be. But please don't lose heart - you're still so young with your whole life ahead of you.

It sounds like you've tried really hard with different things but keep hitting barriers, and that's frustrating as hell. But don't assume you're not talented or capable. Your conditions make things harder, but they don't define you. And every failure is a chance to learn.

Have you talked to a professional about options to help manage your ADHD? Sometimes even generic meds can help if the name brands are too pricey. Or looked into support groups who may have other ideas. You don't have to do this alone.

As for the future, try not to get too hung up on what may or may not happen ten years from now. Focus on small goals today - keep practicing your art just 'cause you love it, even if you don't see huge leaps. Volunteer somewhere that interests you just for experience.

And be kind to yourself, man. You're doing your best with what you've been given. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Things may start coming together before you expect. And hey - you've got friends who care about you, so Lean on us too, yeah? You'll get through this.

[SeanshterMonster]

I havnt talked to a professional about my problems, and I've got too many problems to unload onto friends or even lean onto to. It'll just push them away

[Oliverlogan263]

I totally get not wanting to unload everything on friends - that can definitely be draining for them over time. But talking to a professional is really important, especially when you're feeling this overwhelmed and hopeless. Here are a few thoughts on that:

- A therapist is trained to handle heavy stuff without getting burned out like friends could. That's literally their job - to help folks work through problems.

- You don't have to lay everything out at once. Just go, talk about some of the main things weighing on you, and see how it feels. No pressure to commit to long term therapy right away if you don't vibe with someone.

- Your friends probably care about you a lot more than you realize. True friends want to help when they can, even if it means just listening sometimes without trying to fix things.

- Bottling stuff up alone won't make the problems go away. In fact, it'll likely make you feel worse over time. Talking helps release that pressure.

- You deserve to feel better, man. And a professional has real tools to help you cope in a healthy way and find some relief. It's worth a shot when you're down like this.

Taking that first step to find help is the hardest part. But I totally think you should try reaching out - what have you got to lose, right? It won't solve everything overnight, but it could start moving things in a healthier direction. You got this - you just need some extra support along the way.

[northerngal]

I think maybe you should seek out some professional help... seeking help is a strength not a weakness. You have a lot on your table.

[SeanshterMonster]

I wish I had the money too. I have no idea how much it'll cost. No idea if I'll help. Just thinking about making an appointment with a GP stresses tf out of me.

[northerngal]

Its worth a shot... how do you eat an elephant?

[northerngal]

One bite at a time.

[Sevenpointfive]

if you're a good writer. i might be able to help you out. dm me