Do you think he really likes me or is taking advantage of me?

[hertheone]

• He first approached me on the street, chased me from the other side of the road&asked for my number
• He was persistent on hanging out for 3 months straight and I kept flaking on him and not giving him attention because I was dealing with some personal issues
• I finally agreed to go on a date and he kept telling me how I was exactly his type. We hit it off really well.
• It's been 2 months since our first date and he's been organizing dinner dates for us every week
• He constantly tells me how beautiful I am
• TMI but he is always h*rd around me. Even at dinner lol
• I said a celebrity was hot and he told me to never mention another guy being hot around him again (I don't know why, this also turns me on)
• we have slept together and have amazing chemistry

This is where I start to wonder if maybe I should be questioning his intentions;

• We have a 9 year age gap. I'm 26, he's 35
• His friends have told me that he speaks a lot about me
• He calls me his little girl & while he says it in an endearing way, never creepy; I can't help but wonder if I'm being used as a placeholder for his fetish because he talks about how our age gap turns him one and I like it as well , but don't want to fall for him if that's all he likes about me
• He wants to choose my outfits ( I like this as well, but going back to what I said; I don't want to fall if I'm just fulfilling his fetish)
• he calls himself daddy and likes when I call him that. I know to some it's weird but I've always done that to my past boyfriends, but I can't help if I should question due to our age gap

He's a super sweet guy and kind of nerdy but he is also good looking and in his prime. I feel like men at this point of their life are play boys and I have a wall that wants to come down so badly, but I'm scared. Based off what I am saying, do you think this is worth pursuing or potentially just a situation where I am being taken advantage of? Thanks

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Thanks for this long and clear description, I see so many contextless questions that it feels good to see ones considering the importance of context lol

I see warnings in red letters here:

First the pursuit in the streets, the only guys picking up like this I've seen are the guys running on collectibles. Could be spontaneous, genuine interest, it's not impossible, no, but it's improbable to me.

Second, the outfit control, what the hell ? Who does that, except a parent for a toddler? Which connects to the daddy thing and the little girl and the turned on by youth. Fetish elements? Hell, yes.

But the thing here is, while you have gut feelings that you shared in this description, you seem also willing to cooperate, to an extent, to this scenario he's filming. So it's not only about the guy here, you also have questions to examine for yourself, as in what interests you in this role... Might be important to reflect upon what you do and what you want to do here.

[hertheone]

Are you able to elaborate on "running on collectibles" ?
I will be honest, he's a little nerdy so if you mean it's a little unusual, yeah he does unusual things but it also made me thing like huh why are you so confident in a generation where men are so afraid to approach women in person... like is this something you do regularly?

As for the fetish, I'm definitely into the dom/sub dynamic but just feel like it's so early on that I can't determine whether he is into me exclusively for that or if it's that in conjunction with liking me. I wouldn't want to be that vulnerable and intimate with someone who just sees me as casual, but if this is actually going somewhere, I'm into it

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Collectibles as in collecting trophies, consume them. I see you've thought about roles then, okay. I see nothing much to add without actually being with the guy, or being in your head, which is not going to happen 😅

[teamvic]

he's definitely using you to fulfill his sex fantasies. The question now is if you're into that as well

BUT. it doesn't also mean he can't like you as well. But you haven't given much information or evidence to say he does. Aside from him mentioning you to his friends but he could just be bragging about it

It's kinda like let's say someone hasa fetish for someone who has 15 toes. And he goes for a girl with that many. Yes he's using her because that's what he likes secually so he went for her for that. But he could also like her as a person

As I said there's not much information to go off on to say if he likes you for more or not. But I wouldn't assume or the worst. But I also don't recommend thinking he's planning a future forever with you

I only its not much help but, hey this shit is for free

[teamvic]

I know*

[hertheone]

Thanks for your perspective, I think you could be right. Appreciate it

[Iron_Man]

You overthink too much and women like you over think so much that they end up just walking away and blowing a good opportunity because of their insecurities

[hertheone]

I think you're absolutely right. I actually already pushed him away once because I was dealing with a lot of family issues and he gave me some space but called me a day later saying he wasn't going to go away that easily. Mind you, this was before we had sex so in my head I thought that he possibly just said that because he still wanted to pursue sleeping with me.

[Iron_Man]

Give the guy a chance

[Avicenna]

Taking advantage

[Anonymous]

Does it really matter?

[hertheone]

yess because I'm getting older and don't want to waste my time :(

[Opinion Owner]

Well let me just put your mind at ease. Based on what I've read, it's not going to work out... with any guy. I mean you might get a guy to commit. You might even get him to marry you. But it isn't going to last. And you'll be right back to square one. Cheers! 🍻

[hertheone]

waittt why won't it work out with any guy lol. I'm genuinely asking.. open to all and any constructive criticism or observations. I'm trying to change my ways and see things from different perspectives