Does he like me or am I being used?

[ineedadvise]

My best guy friend and I have been kinda in a weird relationship for a while now. We flirt and laugh and stuff... but it never goes farther. I really like him and have told him that but he said at the time he didn't feel the same, I respected that and from then on have kept my emotions to myself. A few days ago he was drinking and told me he loved me. I didn't want my feelings hurt so I just said thanks, even though I love him back. Since then he has barley talked to me this week, we used to be inseparable. My question is does he really love me or because he knows how I feel for him does he just see me as a girl that will always be there as a backup if he needs it? Am I being used? Did I hurt his feelings? if so how do I fix it? I have never been in a relationship before and it seems the first one is failing before it even starts :( and help? Thanks

[jondogg1985]

Wow you sound like a girl I know, she has been having sex with one of my friends for a year and yet she wants a relationship and even told me she considers herself with him, and I told her that she isn't. He wants to mess around with girls and broke off a great relationship to be single and mingle which is bullsh^it but it's his choice I guess. What baffles me is that she would pass on me even tho I'm just as good looking as my friend and I WANT a relationship and told her if we hung out and liked each other we could go out but she chose to keep having just sex and sex only with someone that she's not even with nor will she ever actually be with him. I know this because he already told me if he decides to be in a relationship again it will be with his ex, who by the way is strung around his finger and she does anything for him, which again makes no sense. He basically is the kinda guy even tho he's a friend you want to tell a good girl that wants something not to mess with him. But I think your friend thinks you like him the same way you do, and if that's not the case you need to tell him. The best thing you can do at this point is tell him exactly how you feel, and if you want to try dating him, date him. If you dont, dont. Just don't beat around the bush. That's how we sense a non interest and move on.

[Littletad]

The only way you are being used is if he sleeps with you but also says he just can't commit to a relationship with you. So don't ever fall into that area. It seems like he does like you, at least his inner feelings point towards that. But it seems he honestly doesn't want a relationship for personal reasons. Most men are naturally afraid of commitment, or even relationships in general where they actually care for the girl. So stand your ground and keep your ears and eyes open. Yes, he likes you. But he also has reasons for not being with you. It's up to you if you want to continue having lingering feelings for someone not ready to step up.

[skeeterskeet]

well, I'm dealing with the same issue. its crazy how similar urs is to mine lolz. but I think he does like u. if he sed he loved u, nd you didn't say nething back, now he doesn't talk to you as much, he was deffinately hurt. I have the same kindoff relationship with this guy, and he doesn't want a relationship with me either. I would say you shud tell him you love him, nd you were just afraid. because even if ur relationship still goes no further for a while, at least it will be out in the open about how the both of you feel. if he says he was just drunk, don't believe it. say, "i know you like me. don't deny it." nd don't stop askin till you get a straight up answer on how he feels, even if you feel ur botherin him. trust me gurl, it works. =D

[ninjamonicarox]

I am in a similar situation right now. I know that my guy likes me though. Because he said he did, after a couple months. But sometimes he acts like he doesn't and says he doesn't but he still flirts and stuff.

In your situation though, I think he is using you. This guy and I were in a really close sexual relationship and then he got a girlfriend and we haven't talked since.

[girlsguys88]

Sounds like he was deeply affected/hurt by your not returning his love confession. He may have developped feelings for you since you told him you liked him, that can happen.

You should talk to him...it sounds like you guys are on the same page but just need to push through the 'does he/she love me back' phase :)

aw, good luck!

[Anonymous]

Well, it sounds to me like 1. he was either not honest with you to begin with, and the booze brought out his true feelings towards you, 2. he fell in love with you since the time he told you he didn't feel that way about you, 3. he's not really in love with you but just wants you and considers it "love".

These are just a few options, but I think if I were you, I may have reacted in a somewhat similar manner. I would be careful before giving your heart to this guy, especially if it's so easily changed. He may love you one day and break your heart the next.

At any rate, good luck!

[Soccergirl27]

Well this happened to me. The guy (my best friend) told me he liked me. I didn't like him for a while but because he loved me I started liking him back. Things have changed now and we both know how we feel for each other. But he wants to wait for a few months to see if its the same. I encourage you to do so to, If he and you still feel the same without being together or kissing and you guys stay close and wait it will work out.

[nyczpyro]

K ask him if anything is wrong. Then see what he says and tell him "oh its just we haven't talked all week usually we do stuff" << word it how you want to. Don't worry about sounding clingy just make sure you ask after that you can get back to me if you want. Or just handle it as you see fit :)

[s54b32]

I hate to break it to you but you ended up in the friend zone and then got downngraded to a backup. I can assure you that you didn't hurt his feelings. However, whether he consciously or subconsciously realizes it or not, he controls you.

If you really want him, start avoiding him and see if he jumps through hoops to get to you. If yes then you have a shot, otherwise wait for another one to start.

[koolgirl345]

Well, he was was drinking and told you he was in love with you? OKay. remember drunken words usually are the truth when it's coming from a very shy person that scared of sharing their feelings for someone...=)

Good luck :)

[NornitaPoalima]

I think you were not being used. I think the only reason why he said he didn't feel the same was either because he didn't realized he loved you yet or ruin the friendship if the relationship went bad. You should fix it by telling him your feelings again and if he says that he doesn't feel the same,then ask him about what he said. Hope that helps!

[ty-lady]

All I can tell you is that "the truth comes out while under the influence". I know this for a fact!

[kenken1330]

well if I tell some one I love em and they said thank you I would be hurt. but talk to him tell him when he said it caught you off-guard so you froze.. trust me and then the relationship can build from there.

[backstroke_swimmer]

you should wait a little while to clear the air, and then confront him about what happened that night and see what he says. Guys tend to hide their feelings sometimes, and it makes them hard to read. good luck :)