What can I do to not care who my boyfriend follows on instagram?

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone, I have been arguing with my boyfriend about him following bikini girls on instagram for a real long time and i’m so tired of being insecure about it. We are not happy because of it and I just don’t want to care who he follows. He is not liking any pictures, he is not flirting with them. i just not want to care anymore. any advice?

[Finchie40]

Well the fact that he is following them and he knows you don’t approve , is sadly a Red Flag , that he truly doesn’t care about your feelings and honestly it’s something you should really reconsider on whether you want to stay in that type of relationship with him or not? If he truly cared about you , he wouldn’t follow those girls out of respect for your relationship with him. So you have every right to dump his ass and find yourself a guy , that would respect you the same way you respect him , Never stay in a relationship with someone that clearly doesn’t value you or respect you. They only like the convenience of you , find yourself a guy that makes you his top priority the same way you make him yours. You will never be happy or content being with a guy like that. Cuz he only cares about himself. I dump girls’ all the time that don’t respect me the same way they want me to respect them , it needs to go both ways or the relationship is pretty much a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Yes, find a new man. Every man pretty much checks out other women. That is almost guaranteed to happen. Can’t do much about that. But the fact that he’s following them online, that’s something else. At 46 I still see very attractive women, everyday. I see them online too but the difference is I don’t follow them online. After 15 years of being together w my girl, I don’t do that. The only way I might see maybe a need to follow them is if he was in the business of taking pics for these women professionally or something. I doubt that’s what he’s doing. How long have you two been together?

[AviatorTom]

Find something else to like about him, and stop looking at his phone and insta account.

[godfatherfan]

You are in your 30's. You should know by now that men are visual. Very Very Visual. We look,. It is meaningless. We are not sitting there thinking "wow, I rather be with her then my wife/girlfriend/so etc. Get over it. Why he has to like them, I have no idea. That is just stupid. He can look all he wants, as long as he doesn't touch. You have the freedom also.
also, why do people care about anything online. I have an Instagram account only because I had to make one for a drawing. I have never actually looked at it. I thought it was just a bunch of morons taking pictures of food. If there are scantly clad women on it, maybe I should check it out.

[Meropatrick]

She is some stranger in a bikini overseas. U should tell urself that. What danger she poses on u? Well she ever even give ur boyfriend the time of the day? She is probably doing christiano ronaldo with her bikini body or some other Billionaire? Probably u should be worrying about ur best friend or ur roommate than worrying about a bikini model on instagram who is on a yacht with a billionaire

[Meropatrick]

If u dont like him doing that leave him. Its too suffocateling for him that u bother him over some posts he likes online. If u liked some photos for brad pitt online will u be ok if he stressed u over it. U girls do that too

[morganherrel]

Asker, do you look good in a swimsuit? I wonder if your boyfriend has a certain visual craving that you can't meet. This type of discrepancy has become the norm these days in U. S. for a number of reasons. Social media being one, body positivity movement (when it becomes toxic) being another.

Either leave him and find a guy who won't have this issue (hard to find, unfortunately), or realize that depersonalized internet eye candy has nothing to do with the bond you two share.

[Emsabmud]

You can't do anything about what he does. If you don't like it and he doesn't want to change, you'll either fight about it for years to come or, he'll hide it from you. Then, you'll find it every so often in the years ahead. I suggest you either make peace with it or, move on to another guy.

[noohair]

When you accept social media as a tool you get the garbage that goes with it. The social media generation has changed society norms and I don't think guys see it like you do. Guys will think I am looking but I am not doing anything.

[Asker]

you don’t think it’s a bit disrespectful that a man in a relationship is choosing to follow girls who are basically half naked on instagram?

[noohair]

No, because social media has made it normal. If you use social media, you get the whole package with all the negatives. I dount use instagram, Facebook or any other platforms.

[Asker]

any advice on how to make him
happy with me again? he's not happy with me, he doesn’t call or doesn’t text me anymore so any advice on how i can get him back and make him happy?

[noohair]

Happiness is an internal emotion. You can't make someone else happy. All you can do is being a person that he is happy to be with. If he is not happy, you might want to consider that you guys are not for each other. I know that this is harsh. But I don't want to tell you that things will be ok. Guys are simple creatures. If you want to find out what he wants, ask him. Then you decide if you can do that. You can't make someone love you, you can't make someone happy and you can't change other people. Yes it sucks. Life is very hard. But your power lies in your own ability to change yourself or decide that you have emotions that are valid for you, but you can change how you react to your emotions. Good luck. If you have any questions, I am available. Take care.

[LazerMan]

you just ignore it as he will only have true feelings for you as de saying goes you can look but not touch so he will only love you as only you he can touch

[Asker]

he’s not happy with me as much anymore so i can get him to be happy with me again? he said that all i do is complain about instagram all the time so he doesn’t like talking to me either so I don't know what i can do.

[LazerMan]

try huggin

[DrPepper12]

I don't have advice but I'm glad you realize you have a problem

[Titus_of_Ultramar]

Treat them like fictional characters as he'll never see them in reality anyway

[Jmmmfi4]

LOOK... GUYS LIKE LOOKING AT PRETTY GIRLS. IT MEANS NOTHING.

[Asker]

it’s not rude to have a boyfriend that basically is looking at naked women on instagram?

[Jmmmfi4]

ITS NOT LIKE HE TRYING TO FUCK THEM SO WHO CARES? HE'LL NEVER EVEN MEET THEM BITCHES. DON'T MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING.

[Asker]

yes i understand, but how is that not wrong? the girls are basically naked. wearing sting thongs and the tiniest bikini top and he follows them so he can see that all the time?

[Jmmmfi4]

JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT... YOU WANNA BE A JEALOUS PRUDE GO RIGHT AHEAD. ENJOY.

[Asker]

do you have instagram? look up @hookedongigi
tell me that’s not basically nude. no one would want their boyfriend or girlfriend looking at pages like that.

[CountryWanderer]

Why is he following them?

[Asker]

i don’t know why

[CountryWanderer]

Definitely ask him

[slatyb]

Stop looking at who he is following on Instagram.

[ImAlondra]

I don't think there is anything you can do

[Asker]

why?

[ashish804]

u should follow one whom he would get jealous to

[Asker]

it doesn’t work. i tried that already and he called me a hypocrite because i complain about it when im doing the same thing

[ashish804]

u can dm me.. we can discuss about it

[avery58]

@asker the only hypocrite here is him if it bothers him but he doesn't care when he does it

[Luckycharms12]

That's online bs he wants you in real life

[Asker]

yes but it just makes me sad you know. he should only have his sexual eyes for me not any one else

[Luckycharms12]

That's never going to happen

[Asker]

why?

[spartan55]

@asker
Because this isn't fantasy land.

[OddBeMe]

Why do you feel the need to control him?

[Gentilegoyim189]

Delete instagram both of you.