How to not care if my boyfriend follows a lot of girls on ig?

[Anonymous]

hey everyone,

i know this is so dumb but i can’t get over it. how can i not care if my boyfriend follows a lot of girls on ig? i hate it because it makes me feel insecure but i don’t want to care anymore. so anyway, how can i let it go and not care anymore?

[DishLady]

Do you know the ballpark figure of how many women he follows?

Do the same thing. Follow all the guys... do it for a month and if he says something to you about it you can just shrug and say "It doesn't mean anything, sweetie. We're just friends." Don't delete/unfollow a damned thing till he has deleted each of those little chippies off his phone.

BUT if he persists with shady stuff like a "secret" IG or media account then you should suggest time apart so he understands you're serious about it bothering you.

[Confusedpenguin]

I would talk to him about it, I’m on the other side of this with my boyfriend being upset I’ve added guys. For me the perfect conversation about it would not be him accusing me but asking “hey why’d you add these guys?” And listening to and respecting what I have to say. For me I’ve added them only for communication about classes we share and talking about dates, times, study materials and exams, performances, and missed work for both my classes and my extra curriculars. We all usually only message in group settings from groups we’ve set up in dms with multiple women and men from the class or extra curricular.

[MidnightRivers]

Trying to force yourself not to care usually backfires, I would suggest understanding why it triggers you and decide whether it’s a personal insecurity or a relationship boundary? communicate it calmly to him rather than suppressing it and hiding it otherwise the feeling just keeps resurfacing.

I would build internal security regardless, even if he changes nothing, it helps to:focus on your own value remember that attraction to others can be a form of disloyalty, confidence makes these things sting less and understanding your worth, what you look for in a relationship and what you value

[Anonymous]

Remind yourself that your value is not defined by who your boyfriend follows or the curated images on his feed. If you have expressed your feelings clearly and your partner continues the behavior without regard for your peace of mind, it may indicate a mismatch in values or a lack of respect for your boundaries.

Good luck.

[Berethor]

You need to internalize that it's not cheating, your boyfriend is not intimate with those girls.

[Agape93]

If he's not fucking or flirting, then what exactly is he doing? Looking?

[Greatful]

Is there any reason he follows them a lot of times is innocent but, also if it bothers you, you should be able to discuss it with him,

[Nikki1989]

Date a man, not a boy.

[jahaims]

You should care. Have self respect and boundaries