Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years. In that time, we’ve had a lot of bumps in the road. A lot of lies, disrespect, and hurt from him. Because of that, I am quite insecure in the relationship and have zero self confidence.
One thing that bothers me is him constantly following attractive single girls on Instagram who he doesn’t know. I have got upset about it many times, cried to him endlessly about my insecurities, that I do not feel good enough for him (there’s a lot of other issues that have contributed to this), and ask that he stops as I find it disrespectful. He has never stopped. It got to the point that I was checking his following multiple times a day, and making note of the girls he was following so I could tell when he follows someone new.
For context, the last few months our relationship has hit a real low point. I’ve been struggling deeply with my mental health. I’ve cried to him many times about how I’m feeling and how low I feel in myself. Nothing was changing so it got to breaking point, and I have moved out. We are not officially broken up, but I just need some space right now. for me right now this is a trial phase to see if I can forgive all the hurt and if he can change his ways.
Anyway moral of the story, I checked his Instagram today (I’ve been trying to stop this as I know it’s toxic behaviour on my part also..), and noticed he’s followed at least 5/6 new girls that again he does not know, are all single, and all post ‘thirst traps’.
I need to know, is this normal behaviour? Am I being over dramatic? I’m just disappointed that I’ve asked for that boundary multiple times and it’s not being respected regardless of how it’s affecting me. I know it’s normal to follow people, but if you see your partner struggling, then why not help reassure me? I don’t think he sees it as a big issue, and I know insta shouldn’t be, but it’s having such a toll on me and my worth.
