Is this weird behaviour am I in the wrong?

[Krystal23]

So yesterday I met up with my boyfriend after a while and he wanted to get intimate and I told him no because I kept on saying no he wasn’t taking no for an answer I was against the wall and he was like come on baby come on I was like no I said it about 3 times trying to push him off me. Finally I pushed him off me and I started crying because he want listening and he was like im sorry I would never do that to you and then he was like is it a past trauma it wasn’t pass trauma it was just he wasn’t taking no for an answer and wouldn’t get of me i stayed quiet because i was still in shock. He said it’s best if I leave and I said yes you should. He proceeds to leave out the door and says after all these years you would think I would do something like that to you and he said this is this the last time you will be seeing me again. I went to his car and I told him I’m not accusing him of anything I reassured him. He was like delete my number this and that I haven’t heard him since It’s been 24 hours

Updates

1 y

Update I’ve spoken to him and he still see’s as he did nothing wrong I told him I don’t want to be with him and I can’t have someone in my life like that after yesterday

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that's super messed up what he did. No means no, how hard is that for him to understand? You said no like three times and he still wouldn't get off you, that's not cool at all. I don't blame you for getting upset and crying either, I probably would have lost it on him. It was good that you pushed him off and made it clear you weren't going to put up with that. I can't believe after what happened he still doesn't think he did anything wrong, what a jerk. You definitely don't need to be with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries like that. Even if you've been together a long time, you deserve a boyfriend who will listen when you say no and not make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. It sucks that things turned out this way between you guys after so long, but you made the right choice to break things off since he's not willing to acknowledge how wrong it was of him to pressure you like that after you said no. Don't second guess yourself - you stood up for what's right and didn't let him dismiss what he did, so good for you for having your self-respect. Hopefully with some time and space he'll realize how not okay his actions were, but for now just focus on you and don't look back.

[Krystal23]

Yeah exactly he don’t see what he did wrong. In his words he said ‘ I didn’t do shit wrong ‘ and he admitted I had to ask him 3 times to let go he goes the second time I let your arms down but then I said I had to ask him the third time to move out my way. It’s so weird that this has happened and he does not care but like you said with some time and space he will realise what he did was wrong 😊

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, I can't believe he said that to you. "I didn't do shit wrong"? Come on dude, have some awareness. Forcing yourself on a girl when she says no multiple times is always wrong, no question about it. The fact that you had to ask him THREE times to get off you or move proves he wasn't respecting your consent at all. Any decent guy knows one "no" should be the end of it.

It sucks that he's being so stubborn about taking responsibility now. Sometimes guys just don't want to admit when they mess up, even if it's super obvious to everyone else. But his refusal to see how what he did was not okay is not your problem - you did the right thing standing your ground and ending things.

Don't lose sleep thinking about whether he "gets it" or not. All that matters is that you trusted your gut feeling and removed yourself from an uncomfortable situation, which shows a lot of strength. Hopefully with more time away from each other, he'll realize he can't treat girls that way. But for now, just focus on you and don't look back. His lack of remorse is proof breaking up was the call. You'll meet someone worthy of your time real soon!

[Krystal23]

Thank you so much!! Yes definitely honestly I’m really proud of myself for standing up for myself and I don’t think he expected it because he was like it’s best if we delete each others number and I said yes your right I agree we should and then he went silent. I said to him I don’t want to be with him anymore went silent again and I ended the call but he was still on the call you know when you can feel someone knows they messed up as he didn’t expect me to agree with him normally I be like ‘ don’t be like that we can make things work ‘ but now I just nope I agree with you

In time I know he will realise he messed up and lost a good person but he can’t keep treating people the way he does it’s disgusting. I’ve been that girl that has been there for him since day dot he says it all time himself and he’s struggled to move on but he can’t move on and that it’s hard to get over me because he loves me too much.

I am not feeling bad at all because his behaviour says it all.

Appreciate you ❤️

[Oliverlogan263]

Aye sis, I'm beyond proud of you for sticking up for yourself like that! It takes real courage and confidence to shut that type of crap down. And you're absolutely right - he clearly didn't expect you to actually agree to cut contact, 'cause usually girls just cave.

But you showed him, and yourself, that you won't settle for less than the respect you deserve. Good for you, girl! No need to feel bad at all either - actions speak louder than empty words. And his actions were waaaack.

It's wild how some dudes will cling to all the benefits of a good relationship but take the person for granted. His loss! In time he'll realize how much he messed up, losing a real one like you, but by then it'll be too late.

Please don't ever doubt how strong you are. You got this! Onwards and upwards to healthier, happier days ahead. Thanks for sharing your story too - it gives me hope to see someone stand up for themselves like that. You're an inspiration, sis! Keep slaying 🔥

[spartan55]

Fine, good riddance asshole. Him trying to guilt trip you and turn it around makes it even worse. Are you going to stay with that guy?

[Krystal23]

Thank you and no I’m not going too. It’s just how how turned it around on me and made me feel guilty for something I didn’t even do. He was like I’m accusing him of r a p e which them words didn’t even leave my mouth and he said I traumatised him with my response? He said that was his confirmation that it’s over between us

[spartan55]

That's just amazing some people think like that. Did he use that tactic any other times? Traumatize him... what a pussy.

[Krystal23]

No he didn't just this time and he was nearly going to cry because he wanted to be on his own after what happened. Do you think he will reach out to me and apologise? Or do you thunk he will be embarrassed.

[spartan55]

No, I wouldn't expect either. He sounds entirely too selfish and lacking in emotional intelligence.
I was married to someone who never apologized for anything in TEN YEARS. It wears you out.

[spartan55]

The almost cry thing I guarantee was just a show.

[Krystal23]

Yeah it does wear you out and I’m sorry to hear you never got your apology. ❤️ I’m just trying to figure out if he understands what he did was wrong? I will not be reaching out to him myself at all. I’m glad you gave your opinion on my question as it’s been really helpful and i appreciate it x

[spartan55]

You are welcome! Very good decision to not reach out to him, as he will only attempt to manipulate you.

[Krystal23]

Thank you x

[Anonymous]

You're better off without that guy, he's an entitled asshole and sounds quite manipulative. You don't need that.

[Krystal23]

Thank you girl ❤️ he was making me feel guilty of something he did and I was re assuring him that it wasn’t what he thinks I was accusing him off. Which was rape and them words never even left my mouth I even ran to his car to re assure him of this and he said I’ve left him traumatised and this is confirmation that it’s over between us

[OlderAndWiser]

He probably realizes - at least subconsciously - that he came close to raping you, and that scares him. At the same time, he does not want to admit to himself that he came close to being a rapist, so he is blaming you instead oftaking responsibility for how iwn actions.

Take some time to think about how it is that you got so deep into a sexual relationship with a guy like this so that, hopefully, you don't repeat this mistake. Then look for someone else. And expect this guy to try to reach out to you, say he is no longer mad at you, and then suggest that you get together.

[Krystal23]

Yeah I agree but then made me out to be the bad guy it’s kind of scary when I think about it deeply. What do you mean by the last sentence? You think he will reach out again

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, he probably will, and you need to be prepared to tell him to get lost. . . or block him now, and go no contact, not as a way to make him miss you, but as a means to put him in your past and for you to move forward.

[Krystal23]

Thank you that’s exactly what I need to do

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck, and stay strong!

[noohair]

You are better off. He is an animal and does not respect any woman. You are lucky to find out about him.

[jahaims]

Cut it off with him. He sounds mental

[Krystal23]

I have don’t worry x

[ashish804]

it was weird.. u can say no whenever u don't want

[Krystal23]

Thank you!

[eagle1951]

weird