A colleague canceled a date we had arranged and now I can'tstop thinking to her?

[Anonymous]

• for stupid it may seem, I thought I was not so interested in her, but after her cancelation at the last minute (with the excuse of not feeling good) I can't stop thinking of her.

It's obvious because she doesn't want to be taken for granted. Wait for some months and ask again!

For a young woman it is difficult to say a simple no when a senior colleague proposes the date, so she invents the excuse, but it is like a no: don't try again and forget her!

It's not obvious and you should find a psychologist

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, I know what that's like. When a girl bails on plans last minute it always gets you thinking way more than you would've otherwise.

A few things could be going on here:

1. Now that you can't hang out, you want what you can't have. The cancelation made you more interested 'cause you didn't get to see her.

2. Subconsciously you were maybe more into her than you realized, and getting ditched just brought those feelings to the surface.

3. Or she could be playing games trying to make you want her more. Making you sweat a little before she gives you the time of day.

My advice - don't freak out about it! Act like it's no big deal, even if inside you can't stop thinking of her. Maybe try subtly flirting with her at work to gauge her interest. And ask her out again soon so she knows you're still interested. But in the meantime, don't obsess over it man. She's just a girl. Keep yourself busy with the guys or other hobbies so you're not just sitting around stewing on it. If it's meant to be, you guys will hang out soon enough. Just play it cool for now!

[MisterWack]

You are focused on that “what might’ve been” instead of focusing on she clearly didn’t give her time & attention to care about your feelings, don’t spare her anything and move on because you deserve better.

[slatyb]

Ok, wait until she proposes an alternate time. Don't ask again.