Men who have dated single mothers, would you recommend it?

[Anonymous]

[lightbulb27]

I have and married, it's going well. It depends, I don't know you and your abilities.

It's a special calling to be a step parent, and question is... can you handle them, love them as your own? Can you handle that you are not the #1 priority, but you have your place? Can you handle the inevitable disagreements and give and take with the person you are with. And what resulted in her being single in the first place.. is that well understood and resolved? Did she grow... or is she stuck in an emotional pit?

The other question... is the prior relationship over and whats the dynamic between her and the X? You have to be able to enjoy and live your life while accepting the love you have committed to.

In our case it worked out very well largely due to the character, skills and communication ability of my wife and my qualities. I know other similar families that are working very well and generally even better than if the original parents stayed together (because the prior formula was really caustic).

I would align much more on values, path in life, your ability to communicate and enjoy life together while resolving conflict. Look to what qualities each has and if you complement each other.

It's a formula that might be a good one...

[ManOnFire]

Once upon a time I would've said a hard No, but I think now it really, really depends. I did date a single mom once and it was one of my biggest mistakes, because I was a young inexperienced guy and allowed myself to be taken for a fool. But if I never had that experience I would've never become wiser and know the things I know now.

While many, many single moms do use men and try to pull the wool over their eyes, and many single moms have rolled around in the hay with the wrong men and now expect the gentlemen they once scorned and rejected to come knocking again, there are single mothers who are upright and did not become that way because of their past lusts and foolish judgments. But you can't know that easily just from a good outer impression a single mom gives you. You have to really get to know her, and from a distance. And she has to be honest too. Without that, I don't think it can really work.

[Asker]

Great insight. I guess it depends on the single mother. I think you would have more success if it was a widow instead of a baby Mama.

[ManOnFire]

Not necessarily. A widow might have her heart guarded for years to come, maybe even forever.

[Asker]

True but if it's a baby Mama it shows she doesn't know how to pick the right man.

[ManOnFire]

I think that's true in probably most cases. But some women really did think they found the right man, until the guy did a complete 360 and turned her world upside down. That's why you have to find out as many details from her as possible, and even then she could make things up. You have to be careful.

[AviatorTom]

After my divorce, I dated a few women with grown kids. It was different, since she put her kids above everything else; I'm pretty sure a younger mother with younger kids would do the same. If a guy can accept a different kind of relationship, it's fine to date a single mother.

[JesseP1nk]

Rather no. Not only you have her in your life you also have her kid. Relationship between two people is complicated enough... adding the 3rd person in there... someone who is not even related to you... She expect you to care about the kid too and invest mentally and financially to this kid... And then she can breakup anytime she wants. Not only you lose her you also lose the kid and you dont have no rights to see the kid either - because you are not the real father. Even though she expected to take care of the kid, like you were one. So... its like you have to have one foot on the door all the time... So its a shitty deal.

[Asker]

Is this always the case?

[JesseP1nk]

Not always. But that is something to think about and be aware about.

[Anonymous]

* Co-parenting: If the child's biological father is involved, you may need to navigate co-parenting dynamics.
* Prioritizing the child: The child will always come first in a single mother's life, which may require flexibility and understanding.
* Potential baggage: Some single mothers may carry emotional baggage from past relationships or experiences.
Ultimately, the decision to date a single mother is a personal one. If you're interested in exploring this possibility, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with your potential partner about your expectations and concerns.

[LiamJHayden]

It depends. There is, to me, a world of difference between a self-sufficient mother who was widowed or abandoned and has a child or children who are well-behaved on the one hand, and a never married with four baby daddies who is on assistance on the other.

[slatyb]

Depends on the woman. I did, but I was also a single father. I wouldn't recommend it to young childless men.

[Pete671]

Not really, I get attached to the kid/kids, mom gets jealous and then I got the elbow,

[Avicenna]

No way

[Asker]

What if she was a 10/10 with a slim fit model type body and only has 1 child?

[Avicenna]

LOL, it’s not about looks (and, honestly, I’d hit it and step), it’s about the fact she has a kid.

[Asker]

In today's time, a lot of women don't need help with their kids. They're able to take care of a kid by themselves with all the resources that are available to them. A lot of them just want a partner.

[Avicenna]

Some can, but most single moms don’t fit that description. And someone else‘s kid will always be there. Not interested.

[In_Trance]

It's not for everyone

[scott04sa22]

Nope