Is there something you find disingenuous about the “my ex was a narcissist or psychopath” type of movement going on?

[Eatthatgirl]

if you keep thinking of people as narcissists it makes you as a result always be the victim but in reality we are all humans and do bad things whether we mean to or not.

I started watching the podcast this morning about narcissistic men

I just think today I reached a point where I’m tired of always being the victim in my own mind. All these podcasts keep painting a picture of all these bad guys out there and it’s just become too one sided for me. I’ve done some bad things. I’ve had bad motives. Of course I didn’t think so at the time I was doing them. I had my own excuses. But I’m sure most of these men have their own as well.

We can focus on making sure we have the right motives for dating a guy as well. Before we just sit around worrying that many guys have the wrong motives. What about us? Sometimes we wrongfully justify our selfish actions.

we can only control ourselves and look inward. Judging every guy won’t help me. I can only say yes or no to what a man is offering me. I can decide is this an offer I want to take seriously or not. Men are going to do silly things to us and so are women to men. Sometimes we have to accept we all make mistakes and may hurt someone often unintentionally. Sometimes guys screw up when dating us. His courtship may not be perfect. It might not look like the way podcasts said it should. Sometimes we have to show each other some grace.

[Finchie40]

What most people don’t realize is almost every single one of us has narcissistic traits within ourselves , so to be a full blown out narcissist , is actually a really rare thing , if I recall correctly to be a full blown narcissistic , someone has to have all 7 of those traits , which studies were done to confirm only about 1 percent of our population is a full blown narcissist so the chances of you ending up with an actual narcissist is a very slim chance , but the truth is everyone has some narcissistic traits within themselves. So if someone tells you that you are a narcissist? That person that’s saying it, is also a narcissist as well, because they are projecting their own insecurities on to you , to try to play a victim , when really they are the POS. Every single one of us has selfishness within in ourselves as well , and not one person on this planet is perfect , we are all imperfect people , that come from different backgrounds and upbringings , so the way society is today , with social media and all the gossip we hear and talk about , that will fill our heads up with, is pretty much making every single one of us a selfish POS person. The only way love can grow between 2 imperfect people , , is if they both choose to remove selfishness for each other , and make each other their top priority over everyone else in this world. 2 people that can take accountability for their actions , 2 people that can admit when they are wrong and not always right , 2 people that can resist temptation for each other , 2 people that can be completely honest with each other , so if you can’t do that for your partner? , don’t expect them to do that for you. Relationships do not have to be hard , selfish people make it hard. So do not get into a relationship with someone that you can’t trust and you can’t accept their flaws , the same way you want them to accept yours and trust you , Having respect and trust for each other is important in every relationship, without respect and trust You will just be wasting your time looking for love in all the wrong places , because you will keep failing at relationships , until you learn to remove selfishness from yourself for your partner. What you don’t want your partner doing to you, needs to be the same boundaries for you as well, Not the other way around

[Avicenna]

Every person‘s situation was unique, somit may or may not be accurate

[WintersDaughter]

I think people will say whatever they need to so they don't come across as the one "in the wrong". It seems like there always has to be a victim and an abuser.

At some point, your exes show what kind of person you are. If all your exes are abusive psychopaths, what does that say about you?

[Nikki1989]

Well, yes, narcissistic and psychopathic behaviors can and do exist in relationships, but overusing these labels can be problematic.

[SweetPi]

Agree but it's also a uealthing method for some girls to realize there was no hope for the relationship and no fixing him

[loveslongnails]

Having a full blown narcissist personality is quite different from displaying occasional behaviors that fit that profile. Before blaming a break-up on an ex for being a narcissist, you have to understand what that looks look, all the time, versus having a few narcissistic traits that drove you over the edge.

Some well known celebrity narcissists who exhibit those traits constantly are Diddy, Kayne West, Mariah Carey. Many will say TS but I disagree. Not to get political, but Trump is the poster boy for it. So is Putin, Ted Cruz, MTG, Bill Clinton, you get the idea. The list of politicians and celebs is huge if you look closely, in my opinion.

That said, most everyone acts in their own self-interest "most of the time", but I believe it's a matter of degree that determines whether you're about average, or too selfish and self-centered, or a full blown narcissist.

[Billlewis]

To me, the term 'narcissist' is a huge compliment, because I much prefer to date/serve a selfish, demanding woman who openly acknowledges her intentions.

[strateguy632]

That attitude is too toxic.

[In_Trance]

No there isn't