Why does everyone call their ex partner a narcissist when it's just not true?

[Anonymous]

I have given a lot of relationship advice to friends or even random strangers online. Almost all women led me to believe their ex boyfriend was a narc but once I got to read all the text messages or even talk with the ex boyfriend, I could tell it was a lie. And almost all men who said they were perfect boyfriend were horrible boyfriends. Got lazy stopped telling girlfriend they loved them played to many video games etc no Date nights.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah dude, so many people throw around that word "narcissist" without really knowing what it means. I think a lot of times when a relationship ends, it's just easier to blame the other person and make them out to be some huge villain.

The truth is, breakups are usually more complicated than that. Both people probably messed up in their own ways. But admitting your own flaws is hard, so it's more comforting to act like you were a perfect angel and they were just some crazy psycho.

I've noticed the same thing, where I'll hear a girl complaining about her "narcissist ex" but then when I get the full story, it's usually more like he just got complacent or they drifted apart. Not everything has to be some big personality disorder, you know?

And definitely agree the dudes almost always downplay their own role too. Like yeah dude, only texting your girl once a week and never planning dates is gonna make her feel unappreciated eventually, sorry.

People just don't like to take responsibility for their part in things going wrong. It's easier to paint the other person as the bad guy so you feel better about the breakup. But real life is messy - most relationships end because both people dropped the ball sometimes.

[Anonymous]

People who do that are just bitter about breaking up, so they feel the need to lash out at an ex. Its best to just ignore that when it happens.