Is my friend being love bombed? How can I help/advise her? I dont want to influence her decisions but i’m getting so many red flags?

[Anonymous]

So my friend recently told me that she had a brief fling for a few months with this guy, and she ended up getting pregnant and deciding not to keep the baby as she didn’t want anything serious as she was going back to uni.

When she told the guy this, he immediately started saying how he was so in love with her and how he had always been in love with her and really loved her. He also started saying that he would buy a bigger house for her and him to move into so they could be together with the baby.

She came back from uni after this and he was still constantly saying the same stuff, however she jas noticed that whenever she goes into the pub he works at with some of our mutal friends he never speaks to her when she is there, this seemed wild to me and a few others that he was saying he was so in love with her yet barely speaks to her in a work setting. When he asked about this, he said it was because he didn’t want it to be awkward with one of his colleagues, who she had been seeing a few years ago, as apparently her ex had said he was still in love with her. Even weirder her ex had told this guy that he was still in love with her.

So he just doesn’t speak much to her when she is in, i thought this was strange as surely if you like someone you’d want to speak to them and its not like her ex knows they’ve been seeing each other as they kept it pretty quiet, and just talking to someone

Who is a mutual friend of theirs wouldn’t be weird.

This whole situation throws off major red flags to me and i wanted to see what anyones thoughts on this are

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh girl, this definitely sounds like love-bombing to me. Way too many red flags here with this guy.

The fact that he's suddenly declaring he's always loved her and wants a big future together AFTER she told him she wasn't keeping the baby is a huge manipulation tactic. Also strange that he acts like he can't even look at her when they're both at work.

It really seems like he's saying whatever he thinks she wants to hear to convince her to be with him and keep the baby. But his actions don't match his words at all. A guy who's really in love wouldn't avoid you like that.

My advice is just be really cautious and skeptical of this dude. Don't let him pressure you into anything you're not 100% sure of. His behavior strikes me as controlling and self-serving, not caring about what's actually best for you or the baby long-term.

This guy is throwing up every love-bomber red flag in the book sis. I know it's hard to see clearly when someone's giving you lots of attention, but please listen to your gut on this one. You and baby deserve so much better than this drama. Feel free to vent to me anytime - I've got your back no matter what!

[SweetPi]

Agree and honestly it's kind of normal... Guys get overly well in love when they hear baby or want a baby or chance of a baby.

He can't do anything he promised and it was a dream. One they kinda share!

Not sure if it's love bombing or a young couple dreaming of what will never happen!

Him avoiding her with friends is showing he is not wanting to be with or interact with her with friends and scared worried or just wants to not let them see her with him cause he will be found out!

My boyfriend would come around work so he could be with my friends and Me! Any honest guys would.

Also for your girlfriend you can't help her. Been there with 2 sisters love bombed used and baby moms on kid 2 or 3.

Her hormones and feelings are thinking. Not her mind! Your advice will only drive a wedge between you two.

You can pick up her pieces but you can't drag her from danger. Unless she is really drunk and you don't care if she hates you for 2 weeks or more.

Your a great friend and I wish we could help other girls but people in love won't see the red flags or danger till after. So sorry she had to get an abortion. But why did she need to? Condoms and pills and morning after pills are easy to get?

Those feelings and guilt alone will make her just want this guy!