I want to try to help my friend as much as possible but she is driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do?

[Anonymous]

Long story short…she gets divorced and joins tinder. Sleeps with different men left and right but gets attached to every single one. Will not stop talking about them. Finally starts actually dating someone. Freaks out on him when there’s a girl at his house (his roommates girlfriend) which I don’t understand because his roommate isn’t aloud to have his girl over? She acts super controlling towards him and then wonders why his friends don’t like her, BUT she’s aloud to do what she wants? She recently just hooked up with one of her old tinder flings and cheated on her boyfriend but if he doesn’t call her exactly when he says he’s going to call her she’s pissed off. Well you can probably guess they did in fact break up. She’s just driving me insane with this and was never like this before she got married. She thinks every man is out to get her but she’s the one that acts crazy. I don’t know what to say to her anymore to get through to her.

[usernameees]

It seems like your friend is going through a hard time after a traumatic event (divorce). If you have talked to her and can´t get through you should recommend her therapy. It´s not your fault she´s acting like this and you should take some distance from her for a second so you don´t feel like she´s driving you insane. Just don´t make her choices your choices and don´t give up on the friendship, it seems like she really needs one.

[Asker]

She has been seeing a therapist and she always acts like she is perfectly fine from the divorce since she’s the one that filed. I think it’s an act but any advice I give her she does the complete opposite! Then tries to even talk down on my relationship because she “hates men”. It’s all just so frustrating.

[usernameees]

it´s a defense mechanism. People that go through trauma try to cope in different ways. She gives the opposite advice because that´s her rational part talking, the " hates all man" screams trauma, even if she was the one that filled for divorce. The marriage itself has done her a lot of damage that she needs to work with her therapist. Try not to take everything she says to heart.