Do you have friends that are in a relationship and their partner is a little to close for comfort to you?

[Finchie40]

My friend’s wife is very attractive and I pretty much know she has the hots for me , from the way she looks at me and hugs me every time she c’s me she gets very close to me and I can see it on my friends face that he isn’t really comfortable with it so I try to distance myself from her as much as possible to let him know that it’s just friendship even though I do find her attractive and yes it has crossed my mind to fuck her brains out but I know I couldn’t do that to my friend, I know the attraction is there cuz she pretty much throws herself at me and she will text me on occasion but out of respect for my friend I don’t go any further with it , and I kind of just play it off that I just like her as a friend but damn controlling my temptations is hard at times, and I hate that feeling of wanting something but stopping myself , I know him and his wife been having problems and they been arguing a lot so as a friend I support their marriage and try to help them resolve their issues best I can. I am not going to fuck her but damn it crosses my mind , Have you experienced this with friends? I have some friends telling me to just fuck her because their marriage is probably going to end anyways and others telling me don’t do it, What would you honestly do? I have told her That she is a beautiful girl and the Chemistry and connection between us is there but I couldn’t do that to my friend the same way I wouldn’t want a friend doing that to me. I did slip and tell her if they got divorced then I could see us together , of course I was drinking at the time so I pretty much fucked that up. Cuz now she knows I want her as well. What should I honestly do in this situation? I know most people are Going to say don’t do it but why do I have people telling me to do it?

[7barbieringz]

I think I might be in a similar situation now. With my ex boyfriend's best friend.

When I first met him I thought he was just being friendly and maybe I was misreading things. But then it started to get really questionable. Like he'd hug me every time he saw me and even go out of his way to do so, he'd lay his head on my shoulder or lap, he always touches my arm or shoulder to get my attention, he's gotten things out of my hair (while his head was on my shoulder), he's always near me in a room no matter where I move to he ends up there, he's said he likes my perfume multiple times and he'd buy it for his girlfriend.

He does thinks like tease me by calling me "good weird" or stealing my phone and taking pics of me, or playfully punch/fight with me. Once he stay super late at a party after he said he was leaving I assume because I showed up, considering he talked to me the entire time.

My ex says he talks about me when I'm not there and he's even said multiple times "this reminded me of u/I thought about you..". Once I remember he smiled at me all dorky while I was talking and I asked him "what" and he said he likes hearing people talk about things they like. He also got my number by asking for it slyly 3 different times. He also freaks out about how much we have in common and has said he's glad he had someone to talk to about anime nerd stuff with.

My ex once said his friend treats me different than other girls. The friend has taken me to the store when I didn't need a ride and bought my stuff, then also bought me food from somewhere else. For my bday last year he took me out for drinks, this year he bought me a necklace from an anime I like.

He's also flirted with me by commenting on how big my boobs are and said I look cute on multiple occasions.

My ex said he thinks the friend likes me in the past, he also once said if he (my ex) were more insecure he'd be pissed at how his friend acts.

I try not to assume the friend likes me and he's just maybe a friendly touchy feely guy I don't know.

[Finchie40]

It definitely sounds like he has the hots for you , considering all the things he is doing for you shows he wants to be more than friends, if he his good friends with your ex the best thing for you to do is not allow it to go any further , When a friend can go after another friend’s ex , that isn’t a friend , that shows that person’s true character that they only care about themselves, there are plenty of fish in the sea so go find your own , it’s disrespectful in every aspect , I had friends that did this sort of thing and I lost all respect for them, and they are no longer my friends , I am not saying you aren’t an amazing person but real friends don’t chase after friends exes no matter how beautiful or amazing the person is , it comes down to respect for your friendship , if a friend can do that to another friend that shows their true character that they only care about themselves , so if they can disrespect a friend like that , don’t have a blind eye and think they wouldn’t eventually disrespect you , they already showed their true character, if I was you I would literally stop talking to that friend and move on, He is definitely a little to close for comfort and the fact that he already has a girlfriend and is doing this just shows what kind of person he really is , Your ex should distant his friendship with him as well and his girlfriend should honestly can his ass. I can’t stand selfish people that only really think of themselves , so my advice to you is don’t fall for his kindness , he is just trying to get you in bed and if he achieves that he will eventually do to you what he did to his girlfriend and his friend , I have seen this shit unfold so many times to the point people can be huge pieces of shit, they know it’s wrong but they only care about themselves

[7barbieringz]

I appreciate the advice, and I'm not really pursuing him in any way. And I don't feel like he's actively pursuing me either. He keeps his distance, like he doesn't text me or anything. He might ask me to hang out when I see him in person, or say I should come see his new place. But it's always when my ex is there, I only really see him when I hangout with my ex.

Personally I think him getting a girlfriend was his way of trying to back off. He knew me for about a year before her, he was flirting with me when he was single and when he started dating her it was more subtle but still a few things. Like he got me the necklace while having a girlfriend, but he asked my ex first if it was ok. He put his head in my shoulder and got stuff out of my hair (I found that weird). But it's definitely toned down since he got the girlfriend and I haven't been hanging out with my ex as much.

And the friend only got me the necklace because he an my ex wanted to 3D print one for me last year but it didn't work. So this year he bought it as a makeup for last year.

I mean, as a guy, is there a possibility that I could be misinterpreting this and he is actually just being nice?

[Finchie40]

Again he can be just being nice but usually when a guy is to nice to a girl he is thinking other things , sad but true for the most part , that’s how most of us men are wired so just be careful that’s all, most guys have the tendency to play it cool but the reality of it they are also thinking other things , that’s what makes guys and girls different, when we think someone is just being nice we usually take it as they are flirting , if they are flirting we take it as they are just being nice , why it’s best to take advice from opposite sex friends lol

[7barbieringz]

Lol yea that's why I wanted a guys opinion specifically because in my experience guys are only SUPER nice (and buy me things) when they like me. Like I've never had a guy but my something and not try to hit on me later. Which is why the necklace just threw me in a whirlwind lol never had a guy but me jewelry that didn't like me. Granted it wasn't super expensive, just a little novelty necklace from an anime but still. And my ex wasn't hell bent on making up last year's present so it's weird that his friend cared enough to go through the trouble and spend money getting it.

My gut feeling tells me he likes me, but he doesn't want to betray his friend but at the same time the attraction is natural and he can't help it sometimes. I think I'm also a bit in denial about it. But a guy friend of mine made me realize something he said, "If any other guy were doing this wouldn't u assume they like you? So why is it different with him?".

[Biancam13]

Don't do it, man. This woman isn't worth the cost of your friendship, and you would be a bad person/friend if you did it and your friend would be well within his rights to punch you in the face. I promise you, you would regret it big time. Go find another girl who is just as hot or hotter who likes you and who isn't dating one of your friends. Also, tell the girlfriend that she better stop flirting with you. She sounds like bad news and your friend deserves far better than her.

It would be risky to tell your friend about her advances and warn him, because as someone else said, sometimes particularly sneaky women (which she sounds like) will manipulate your friend into thinking you're the one who came onto her.

[Biancam13]

I had a situation before where my friend's boyfriend thought I was "hot" and told her that to her face. I just made sure to stay away from him after that, I didn't want to give off any impression that I would even go there. Even if he was hot, you just don't do that to your friends. There are plenty of attractive people around who are single and not dating your friend.

[Finchie40]

Yea I am backing off and not going to do shit with her , I don’t want to be caught up on the drama and not lose friendships over it so I am staying away

[Biancam13]

Good, good luck with everything

[Finchie40]

Yea unfortunately I had friends that did that to other friends and it’s so pathetic that friends could backstab friends like that , when a friend can do that to a friend they aren’t friends , I kept my girlfriends away from those acquaintances at all cost cuz I didn’t trust them

[Finchie40]

There are plenty of fish in the sea so go find your own that’s how I look at it , But people are assholes and only really care about themselves

[Biancam13]

Yep, it's pretty common unfortunately, it happened to me. I wouldn't do something like that anyway, but after being on the receiving end I know what it feels like. It's the worst feeling and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Good for you and good luck

[Finchie40]

Sadly it happened to me as well a friend that I thought was a friend hooked up with my girlfriend at the time and he felt bad and confessed to me that he did so I clocked him hard in the face and knocked him off of the bar stool , He didn’t try fighting back and I guess he realized he deserved it , I forgave him but I didn’t forget. Again people are selfish and only really think about themselves, if a friend can do that to you they are not a friend

[hahahmm]

1. You don't realize just how dangerous this situation is. I've seen women who felt like a guy flirted with them & then reject them lie to their husbands & try to get the guy in trouble. Either out of spite or simply to help fool their husband into thinking she's totally innocent. Best case the husband just wants to kick your azz or dumps you as a friend. Worse cases & you get killed or the cops railroad you and you're in prison for 8+ years plus sex offender's registry for life. And yeah, it happens to innocent guys. When I was growing up there was no metoo movement so it was less risky on the legal side but still dangerous.

2. You aren't being a good friend to talk to your friend's wife behind his back. You crossed the line. And even if he doesn't call you on it, deep down he knows it & that will cause him not to trust you. Especially when/if she tries to make him jealous by talking about you two flirting. She DOES know you are feeling something or she wouldn't keep pushing. So you must be showing/acting like you like it.

3. If a guy even THINKS he's my friend, even if he's really not, I would not disrespect him by messing with his wife in any way. And yes, I've been in situations where a guy like that has a hot as hell looking wife coming onto me. No flirting. No private talks. Nothing. Okay, I admit when I was younger (and dumber) I thought it was okay to flirt a little if he's just some friend of a friend but, nothing good will ever come from it.

4. The world is full of billions of women. 90% of them look hot at some point in their lives... so don't go claiming that this is the last woman on earth and you need her. No, you chasing her is a reflection of your inability to get other women OR your inability to keep women so you feel some drive to mess with as many women as possible with barely any self control.

It won't kill you to learn self control. Check out my mytakes. You may find some stuff in there that helps.

[Finchie40]

I agree , i am not going to do anything with the wife , I know the consequences of what could occur and I know it isn’t worth losing friends over and causing a world wind of drama , that’s why I am backing off and not going to let anything happen

[hahahmm]

Whatever you don, don't say something to her that basically says you don't approve of what she did or that she's a bad person in any way... or that you think you're better than her/what you both did cause that is the kind of thing that drives these women nuts and into doing bad stuff to you. Your best defense is, "I have a girlfriend" or "I have a wife"... even if you don't. And there's a reason why usually couples only hang out with other couples. It avoids these kinds of issues (mostly).

[BigschlongEnergy]

You know what you wanna do but you don’t do it out of respect for your friend so what your saying is if you didn’t give a shit about your friend you would of fucked her brains 🧠 out a long time ago I would say go for it Or at least just Have her suck your dick a man has needs And a Girl hugging you means she’s just begging to fuck Like for real that Hug Is the fuck me right now Hug
Just fuck her Denying it is only gonna make it worse the relationship is doomed anyways And your gonna fuck her anyways When they finally break up so It doesn’t matter.


Get your phone out right now And send her a text message to come over Tell her you want to Fuck and make that a reality finally she will be in your bed today naked submissive and ready to get her brains fucked time to text her don’t think just do

[Finchie40]

If he wasn’t a friend I would bang her but since he is a good friend of mine I am not going to do it , If they end up divorced and she shows up at my door step then yes I would fuck her but I am not going to go after her while she is with him , she will have to come to me

[BigschlongEnergy]

Damn so if they get divorced your not gonna send her a text letting her know to come on over

[Finchie40]

LOL maybe , depends on my status at that time , if I am not getting any then more that likely I would lol

[hahahmm]

Only a needy guy -- in other words, less than a whole man - would go for his friend's woman. Very needy because most guys wouldn't do it.

[Guy13]

I stay away from those kind of people.

[Guy13]

Those girls with the men best friends andno or few women cause they all know she’s a whore type….

[Finchie40]

Yea I honestly been distancing myself from both of them hoping they work things out , I like them both as friends and realize temptations can be a hard thing to control especially when you are stuck in the middle , so I just been staying away from both of them and realizing I don’t want to be any part of it

[Guy13]

Bottom line is fundamentally we are attracted to our friends in some way. Opposite sex best friend: 🚩 🚩🚩

[bubblegunnn]

there's angel and evil, there's good and bad. U r a man, i bet u are smart enough to make a wise decision.. she is ur friends wife.. r u really gonna ruin their relationship or sum just because uve been told to just fuck her cuz their relationship gonna end anyway.. nah man. she's not the only beatiful woman around u. Open ur eyes to see available woman and make connection.. she did that to u because u r her husbands friend and already have connection before

[suzzieQ]

Is there any possibility that you are misreading things? You could just be projecting your own desire for her by looking for any little sign she might be flirting. You have been flirting with a married women and struggling with self control... you've made inappropriate comments to and about her.

Integrity and accountability goes a long way, in this situation you should work on both of those characteristics.

[Finchie40]

At first I thought that but then I realized in no way shape or form did I ever really flirt with her , I was always nice to her in a friendly way but I never made passes at her or flirted with her until she started making flirting comments towards me , I always took those flirty comments as jokes and never took it seriously , just playing around and teasing is how I looked at it , but when she started texting me when her husband is away that’s when I had the question marks , One thing that does cross my mind is the difference between guys and girls , A guy can be friendly and a girl can take it as he is flirting with her even though he isn’t , and the same goes for a girl being friendly and a guy thinking she is flirting , so even though I do find her very attractive and a nice person I never flirted with her in a way that would disrespect my friend , but I wonder if she is taking it the wrong way , so out of respect for my friend I have been distancing myself from her by telling her that I hope her and her husband work things out , and try to help keep their marriage alive , again I do kick myself in the ass the one night I was drinking , I was horny at the time and did say some things to her that I wish I didn’t say , So I told her I hope she didn’t take that the wrong way , that the alcohol was talking and told her I was only teasing with her , The fucked up thing is even though I am distancing myself from her it’s making her chase me more , I know most girls like that game of chase so I finally confessed to her yesterday that out of respect for our friendship the flirting needs to stop , I wasn’t rude about it but made it pretty clear that I am not going any further with her while she is married to her husband , hopefully she got the hint cuz so far I haven’t heard from her , I think some people just need a wake up call and to realize what they are doing is wrong.

[suzzieQ]

Except you did disrespect your friend and her and their marriage by telling her that if their marriage doesn’t work out you’d that you could see each other together…. That’s was totally inappropriate.

[NerdInDenial]

How does your wife feel about this situation? If you want her this badly, just do it and do not tell anyone, but for the sake of your marriage, I wouldn't recommend having sex with someone who is friends with your wife. If she wasn't your wife's friend, then do it discretely.

[Finchie40]

Why are you saying I have a wife lol

[NerdInDenial]

I misread your description; I thought you wrote my wife's friend. In that case, I recommend that you don't sleep with your friend's wife unless you hate your friend, then do it discretely to avoid drama.

[Finchie40]

Yea I am not going to fuck her , Even though temptations can be hard at times I just don’t want to be stuck in the middle so I been distancing myself from both of them as much as I can , I do like him as a good friend so I am not going to go that route and praying they work their marriage out , I know the consequences of what would happen if I did end up fucking her and I so don’t want to be caught up on that drama , If she files for divorce from him then that might be a different story lol

[FilmGuy93]

I have had situations like that happen more than once and it has cost me a number of friendships every time.

Usually I don't do anything and I distance myself from the girlfriend. One time, I was made to understand the flirting was cool with him because I was expressly told on 3 occasions that he was. It turned out he wasn't.

[SphynxUK]

She doesn’t want to work things out with her husband but isn’t upfront enough to tell him.
So, she’s using you as a way out; but you’d need to sleep with her in order for her to leave.
You are an aid. Nothing more, so steer clear.

[Finchie40]

If he wasn’t a friend I would bang her but since he is a friend I am not going to ruin that friendship, If she is planning on leaving him why does she need to bang another guy to do it?

[SphynxUK]

She’s a coward. I would tell him it’s over and walk away. She obviously needs a reason. And I hope you realise, you will be blamed, despite it taking two to tango.

[Finchie40]

Yea that crossed my mind as well, that’s why I am staying away and distancing myself from their whole situation and letting them work on their problems , I am so not getting involved in that mess lol

[rienna888]

She sounds untrustworthy but yeah it’s not worth it. You will feel enormous guilt if you ever fuck her.

[Anonymous]

Its just crazy how people in their 40s talk and act like this

[DeeDeeDeVour]

A while back, one of my friend's wives was too at home in our house or RV (when we're camping).

[Moose304]

I don't have that problem. However, if it ever happened I will check it on the spot. If this means I lose friends then so be it.

[NathanDavis]

there's no douchebags at all... in my inner circles

[WhitneySnow]

Yeah it’s happened

[Agape93]

Nope.

[AsaKyo]

What friends

[Finchie40]

What do you mean what friends?

[AsaKyo]

They all ditched me lmao

[Finchie40]

LMAO

[AsaKyo]

Yeah ikr, fuckin' losers lmao

[EaterPeter]

Yes.