Have I messed this up?

[Anonymous]

There’s a guy that I’ve liked for years and we’ve had ‘talking stages’ on and off. I’ve also seen him a few times in group settings and we went out just us two as well last summer. He’s not really a relationship kind of guy and has always been into the party scene and I’m the opposite so we’ve just kept it ‘friendly’ (I haven’t slept with him or even kissed him). Because I’m obviously single I’ve been on a few dates during this time which I’m sure he has been too but the last date I went on two nights ago is a close friend of his which I didn’t realise until after… the date didn’t go well and we won’t be seeing each other again but I feel really sad now that I’ve possibly ruined any chance of me and the other guy ever being a thing in the future (again nothing happened we literally just had a meal). Have I messed up?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure it's not as big a deal as you think.

Guys usually aren't too petty about stuff like that - I doubt your date with his friend will ruin your chances with the other guy. After all, it's not like y'all were even officially together so you didn't really do anything wrong by going out with someone else.

If I were you, I wouldn't bring it up or make it weird. Just continue talking to the guy you like as normal. If he asks about the date, just be honest but also casual - say it didn't work out but you had no clue the guy was even his friend.

If he's mature, he'll understand you're both single and allowed to date around. I'm sure he does the same thing! Don't stress yourself into thinking you ruined anything yet. Give it time and see how it plays out between you two as usual.

The chemistry seems to come and go with this guy anyway based on how you described it. So who knows, maybe this little situation will change nothing. Stay positive - you never know what could happen!

[Asker]

Thank you Oliver this was such a reassuring answer 💙

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww girl I'm glad I could reassure you a bit! Relationship stuff can feel so high stakes and like one wrong move could ruin everything. But honestly guys aren't usually that dramatic about these things.

Like you said, nothing even happened on the date so it's really nbd. And you had no way of knowing they knew each other beforehand. Seriously, don't even stress yourself out worrying about what this dude might think - he probably won't care!

And anyway, if he's really a "not relationship" kind of guy, then you going on other dates shouldn't phase him at all. Sounds like he's just keeping things casual too. So I really don't think you messed anything up at all here.

Just relax and don't overanalyze it! If he brings it up, play it cool. And if not, forget about it. You've got nothing to feel bad for. My advice? Try not to get too hung up on maybes with this guy, and keep putting yourself out there dating others too. No use stressing over what could be when you're single and have options! Feel better now? 😉

[kaucky1]

Wasn't your fault unless somebody else morphed into one I told them I'll suck a girl's dick