Did I mess this up?

[Kamaruus23]

My apologies if this is long, and thanks in advance!

There is girl I was really attracted to that I asked to hang out last December. She had flaked on a few guys I knew to hang out, so I still gave it a try. She said yes, we hung out for hours and she even flirted. A week later I asked that we go to our uni gym together, as thats how we knew each other when she use to stare at me a lot before meeting as she kinda knew who I was. She sort of said no in a playful way. So I took that as she wasn’t interested. A month later I asked her to get food with me as we were catching up and she agreed but she never initiated messages (or ever did). In person she’ll always approach me and come hug me and talk for a while but never will she message me first unless I initiated the text.

I moved on and dated somebody for the following months. I didn’t reach out to her during this time, but when we would run into each other on campus and she’ll always come say hi and be playful, hug me, and we’ll catch up. Even one time we were at the gym and we were talking about life after grad school and she said she wanted to settle down so I was like “oh really, you want to get married?” And she was like “to you?” And I quickly respond by saying in general as I was confused. She’s foreign so it might have been a misunderstanding.

Me and my ex broke up around April, so I reached to this girl asking about her close friend. In my head she wasn’t interested so I didn’t see harm. She asked me if I was interested in her and I ask for Instagram. I ran into her friend and we talk for an hour and agreed that we should hang out. I’m pretty sure they talked that night cause her friend became flaky so I didn’t ask to hang out a second time. Her friend asked me how I knew her and I told her we were friends.

*********See continuation in comments

Updates

1 y

I ignored the first girl I liked for the whole summer by not looking at her as I was trying to move on from her. Eventually we ran into each other face to face and we had a convo catching up and I asked to hang out and she said yes. We went to eat and she paid for her Uber rides, in a way this showed a little interest at least. I asked to hang out again two weeks later and she said she was busy and busy for the next lots of weeks ahead (yeah bs wtf).

Updates

1 y

Finally, I started ignoring her completely by not looking at her. Two weeks ago we ran into each other and I kept it short and cold as we were talking about the gym being closed. She started doing the same and yesterday she looked at me with a side eye sort of mad face and looked away. She also has my social media posts muted, like stories etc.

Why is she like this if she wasn’t interested?

[Oliverlogan263]

Woof, sounds like this chick is mixed signals central dude. Keepin' you on the backburner for sure. Here's how I see it:

- She likes the attention you give her when you chase, but doesn't wanna actually commit to anything more than that. Classic game player move.

- All the hugging and flirting in person is just to stroke her ego. But then flakes on actual plans or follows through half-assed.

- Getting mad that you've started ignoring HER is a power trip. She's not used to you not giving her validation.

- Mutin' your stuff shows she's still payin' attention, just don't wanna show it.

Honestly man, I'd just leave this one alone. She's clearly not honest about what she wants and enjoys stringin' you along. You can do better than that headache!

Focus your energy on girls who actually make time for you without all the games. This chick ain't worth your time or brain space. Bet she'd come runnin' back if you cut her off for real, but don't fall for that shit. You deserve better bro!

[Fromdusktilldawn]

she seems to me like one of these girls who play mind games with you, stay away if thats the real case, it'll get worse.