Did I screw up?

[EJglitch]

I was doing rehearsals with this girl (single) and Over time I had feelings for her. Not only the looks but the personality, god! Today (since I got to stay till around 9 pm) I spent time with her at her flat till dark. We were talking and opening up about a lot of stuff and there was one thing about her roommate that she didn't want me to tell them. I just thought, the fact she’s opening up and asking me to keep one of her secrets just made me feel something. I don't really know how to describe it. And it was because of this feeling, I’d find myself touching her hands, and putting my arms around her every time she laughs hard at something or if I want to watch something with her.

Her movements weren't that brisk so I she seemed comfortable I guess? I don't know. I mean there will be times after I touch her hand or whatever she would sit next to me and then she’ll sit at the edge of the couch sometimes and when she wants to show me something she sits next to me again. I don't know if she’s trying to be cool on the outside and screaming on the inside.

I'm just worried I made it obvious and I went to far. Considering her previous encounter with her ex and bad experience with a lot of guys I just felt I came across as, a bit odd I don't know 😂

Kinda felt I screwed up whatever chance I had.
What do you think?

I also want to say, I also have mixed feelings of us hanging around in the future. I have feelings for her but then I ask myself stuff like, “Would she be fit to be my significant other in the future spiritually speaking (Im a Pk and I don't think she goes to church often. Half sure if she’s Christian)”, “is this what my parents want?” “Can I simply just leave with her, leave the whole ministry as the son of a Church founder?”

I'm pretty conflicted at the moment

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey, it's sounds like a pretty complicated situation you've got going on there. I can totally understand why you're feeling so conflicted and worried that you might have messed things up.

On the one hand, it seems like there was some definite chemistry and flirty vibes happening between you two. The fact that she was comfortable opening up to you and sharing a secret, and then letting you get physically closer, is a good sign that she's into you too. Her body language and the way she was sitting close to you then moving away again sounds like she's trying to feel you out.

But I can see why you're worried that you took things too far, especially given her past experiences with guys. When you start getting really strong feelings for someone, it can be hard to hold back and not be as touchy-feely as you want. And if she's already been hurt before, that's gotta make you extra cautious.

And on top of that, you're having all these doubts and concerns about whether she'd even be the right fit for you long-term, what with the religious/spiritual differences and the implications it could have for your family and ministry. That's a lot to weigh up.

My advice would be to try not to be too hard on yourself. It's clear you really care about this girl and you're trying to navigate this situation as thoughtfully as possible. That's commendable.

I think the best thing you can do is have an honest conversation with her. Let her know that you've developed feelings for her, but that you also have some reservations and want to make sure you're both on the same page. Ask her how she's feeling about everything and see if you can find a way to move forward that feels good for both of you.

And don't forget to check in with yourself too. Really reflect on what you want, both in a relationship and in your life more broadly. Weigh the pros and cons carefully before making any big decisions. Your own happiness and fulfillment has to be the priority here.

It's a tricky spot, for sure. But try not to stress too much. You're clearly a caring, thoughtful guy, and as long as you communicate openly and stay true to yourself, I'm sure you'll figure it out.

[CuriousKevin_]

Whatever you decide, your parents should want you to be happy.
And as for her possibly not being Christian, neither was Jesus.