Did I screw up?

[Anonymous]

Last night I slept at my boyfriend' s place. He is amazing and treated me so well. Lately I was feeling him being distant and it built up frustration so in the morning I was in the mood and started kissing and touching. I did a blowjob which he said he liked but he's not a morning person and likes to be left alone so he was like can you please let me be, and I got hurt and told him he's being rude sometimes. We talked a bit about it and I admitted that my overly display of affection can be too much in the morning and he said that in the morning he doesn't feel like being touched. So I left and got home and called him to apologize for being unreasonable and calling him rude (he was actually polite) and that he's amazing and thanked him for having me over. He told me don't worry about it it's all good. What do I do now? I feel like this was a stupid argument and miscommunication. I didn't address properly that I get bitter because of the distance I've been feeling on his side.

Updates

+1 y

What should I do now? I called and apologized. I am thinking to text him to go for a walk during the day and maybe have a discussion about it.

[bowenw]

Try not to overthink it. Just be yourself. Invite him for a walk if that feels right to you.

Communication is key in successful relationships. Always tell each other what you like and don't like as well as what you are feeling. Having said that, it shouldn't feel like you are always walking on eggshells with him. If it does he may not be the right guy for you.

I think you would be hard pressed to find a guy that would have anything negative to say about a BJ any time of day.

[DonkeyDan]

Not wanting a blowjob regardless of time, that's just straight up weird. Yes I get that he's not a morning person but who turns down a blowjob in the morning?
It doesn't sound like you screwed anything up, but maybe you should have a fuller discussion about boundaries so this kind of thing doesn't happen again.

[Asker]

I tried to initiate discussion but he doesn't want to talk about it and says everything is fine.

[Asker]

I did give him a blowjob and he enjoyed it but told me he isn't really in the mood.

[DonkeyDan]

Well obviously everything isn't fine, and it's a bit of red flag that he doesn't want to talk about it. Relationships should be build on communication.

[Asker]

What can I do about it? I called him and try to discuss it but he doesn't want to talk about it. How can I open a dialogue?

[Asker]

I'm thinking to text him this: "I am horny all the time and this is an issue that I am going personally to work on, don't like myself when I get overly clingy would love your support in that, you're an amazing boyfriend and don't want to let this minor thing to affect our relationship cause I know you love me in your own way and it feels awesome to be with you!"

[Asker]

** your own way which I don't always understand but I am learning more and more every day

[Asker]

Okay last text I think it's best to write: "I know you love me in your own ways which I don't always understand and end up getting hurt by trivial things cause I am overly affectionate and might suffocate you with my love. I would love your support while I'm navigating this and learn to adjust my sexual appetite and neediness."

[DonkeyDan]

Yeah I guess that sounds OK, make sure to keep it to that and not make it too long as that would come across as too clingy. It seems strange that you're the one that is hornet than he is, usually it's the other way around lol
Hope it goes OK and he understands.

[Asker]

Now I'm thinking is stupid to write this whole thing in a text. What if I send him a picture of myself smiling? And write to brighten up your day or something about the book I gifted him?

[DonkeyDan]

Yes that sound good, you know him better and what you think he'll respond to.

[Asker]

In the end I said sorry for being asshole and that Im learning to manage my sexual appetite and need for affection.

[Alyssa11]

Tell him you need to talk and tell him that you feel he's being distant. I can't imagine a guy not wanting a blow job in the morning but what do I know...

[Alyssa11]

Basically don't dismiss your emotions. It's important you put across how you feel because your feelings are valid and matter too.

[Asker]

Well first he asked me about one then he lost his mood and told me to get off as he didn't feel like having sex. He made me coffee right after. We talked in the afternoon via messages and he said to not think too much about it. Then I proposed to cook together during the weekend. I am planning a date more romantic so we can have a chance to bond more.

[Alyssa11]

That sounds good! Good luck?

[Alyssa11]

Good luck! **

[Surely]

No, you didn’t screw up yet. But if you keep harping on it. You are about to.
Approach the subject a little at a time. Other than that, just carry on normally.
Maybe he is afraid if you put his pee hard on in your warm mouth. He might pee in your mouth!

[Twalli]

I don't think you screwed up. Maybe make more open displays of affection when it's not morning. My girlfriend knows I get hornier as the day progresses until I eat dinner. So from breakfast to dinner my horniness increases, because of this she knows to act accordingly to maximize our pleasure. I don't know when he's the horniest, but he probably won't turn down any displays of affection then.

[horatiohornblower]

I'd say stop asking him about it. You already apologized and he accepted it. So take a yes for a yes. Otherwise he could get annoyed that a topic which he considered settled keeps getting brought up.

[exitseven]

Give it a good leavin alone. It sounds like he is good with it.

[CoolGuy7532]

You are overthinking it. You should try to pleasure him at night.

[Cubus]

I think he's not angry at you. You apologized, I believe everything is alright.

[Anonymous]

Ahh what a blow for him! Damn. To b woken up with a blow job or sex! I would b so hard! Lol.

[Asker]

So what was this reaction " please leave me alone" he seemed to enjoy it and even said my blowjobs are amazing but then asked me to get off him.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I’m not sure honestly. If he doesn’t want sex or blow jobs in the AM, that’s his loss. Would u want to b woken up from/with sex?

[Asker]

Absolutely but argument wasn't even about that. Should I text him anything? I already called and said that I was sorry for overreacting

[Opinion Owner]

Ahh well I’d say give him a day to think it over. He’ll come back eventually.

[Asker]

Was anyone at fault? I don't want to be the bitter girlfriend or passive aggressive or holding a grudge so I called to apologize cause I didn't want to hold it in me.

[Opinion Owner]

U didn’t do anything wrong. Would u like to follow me or chat in dm, if not no worries.

[Asker]

Not really but I appreciate the invite. I just want to save my relationship, it's my first one and I am learning a lot. I feel like I suffocate him with much love, is that even possible?

[Opinion Owner]

Ahh that’s cool. No worries. We’ll have u two had sex before?

[Asker]

Yes a lot of sex we've been together for 6 months now. We finish together the last 2 times we had sex. I feel like i screwed up and got clingy and maybe he wants some space from me.

[Opinion Owner]

Ahh ok well that’s good then. Shit, I’m clingy lol. But every one is different so maybe give him some space and see if he comes back.

[Asker]

It hurts to be in this position but there's nothing I can do about that. I will take the weekend to distance myself and see what happens but not sure if that's productive. He didn't complain about me being clingy but i might have gotten. Damn, this is always my issue in relationships I invest a lot and then feel hurt.

[Opinion Owner]

Ahh yeah I understand. That’s why I was mainly seeing if u wanted to follow me so I can try to b there for u to talk to if u need to.

[Asker]

It's fine thank you! ☺

[chrissykerdock]

give him a blowjob tonight and maybe rim him