Are men faced with unrealistic standards?

Question

I am 20 years old. To find a pretty girl it’s like you have to be too perfect I’ll give you examples.

You see on instagram
The men that get all the pretty women are jacked, 6ft, handsome, making millions a year, millions of followers ‘influencer.’ Best car best everything. They change girl everyday

Is this where the bar is set? As I am not sure I should even bother speaking to a pretty girl. I have been rejected plenty. I feel less confidence. In my age group I see few guys with girlfriends, I struggle to name names I don’t know what I’m going to do

Are men faced with unrealistic standards?

Babygirl_S · Accepted Answer

Wow! I guess I like average to above average white men, not very muscular. I even like the pretty boys who are VERY common in those countries. You don’t know what dating is like as a pretty girl in India who isn’t a doctor or something. It’s brutal 🥲 They want a specialist. Engineers want engineers, lawyers prefer lawyers etc. The handsome guys in these fields somehow just don’t care about a girl’s physical appearance. I have been told PLENTY of times by these highly qualified guys that I’m beautiful but don’t have the job they prefer. They don’t have abs like these guys and many Western people would call them average at best but look at the standards they’ve set for women. I don’t know what you think but more women in my country look better than the guys so every hot guy has more options than any hot girl. They all want a working woman. I know a few rich guys who don’t necessarily want a working woman but they’re so SHALLOW. They make it so obvious that they wouldn’t even talk to you without a certain appearance. I am aware of the fact that I will get old and will have wrinkles. I won’t get plastic surgeries to replenish what’s lost so I’ll be cooked. Thus, marrying a guy who ONLY chooses me due to my face and body is extremely dangerous. He would find someone prettier and younger.

I don’t think the standards are too unrealistic for white men (at least according to me). I personally HATE extremely tanned and muscular look. The natural appearance of white men who are young and take care of themselves is handsome enough for me. You also don’t need a perfect face as far as I’m concerned. I am used to seeing guys who look like potatoes 🥔 and message things like “take my d**k you wh*re” when I reject them.

So I don’t have a strong preference for guys who look like this:

I don’t hate them but how much they alter themselves (muscles, tan etc.) is unnecessary for me.

He is my favourite actor and I don’t think he had to bulk up so much or get a tan:

I REALLY love his look here!

The following guys look decent as well and way better than the ones you showed me:

I don’t know what white girls want but I’ve seen worse attitudes and snotty guys who thought they were 10s and believe me when I say they looked like boiled eggs 🥚 If I were in any Western country, I wouldn’t reject any guy with an average to above average appearance. I would look for someone who would love me, accept me, care for me, would stay loyal etc. He also wouldn’t have to be some millionaire. Just have a nice regular job so you can live a normal person’s life. My definition of an attractive man is very different from yours.

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

The telling phrase in your question is "a pretty girl". By "pretty girl" I assume you mean this:

So, yes, you will need to tick every box you mentioned if you want this type of girl. I warn you though, that girls like this generally have guys breathing down their neck and you'll need to fight to stay on top. One "sensitive" dude who "gets" her and poof! All the work you put in goes down the drain.

But, if you value character and personality as well, you might find someone who looks more like this:

^This is a typical woman, give or take skin and hair color, weight, height, etc.

But every guy wants the first woman. However, the second woman has to compensate with personality, character, education, etc. The first girl gets it all with her looks. But over time, the amortization crosses with age and the average woman holds and increases her value, while the one who relied on her youth and appearance alone has to give way to the next generation of pretty girls.

Now, I know girls who are pretty who are also wonderful people. I want to clarify that I am not saying all pretty girls are awful. I am simply saying that for the average man, just because he can look at the $450K Earth Roamer online doesn't mean he can afford it. Bad analogy, but you hopefully get the point.

All that said, I wish you the best of luck and hope you find a great girl!

Zack-Bann · Accepted Answer

I was your age 7 years ago and I had the exact same thought
It took years for me to understand the world and you will too

What you think is not true

But not entirely false either

We grow up these days with positive affirmation drilled into us, by our parents, our schools, our friends, anyone that comes into contact with us.
When you’re a kid or a teenager people tell you all is great and you are loved and desired

But as soon as you enter early adulthood the real standards of society set in without warning

And suddenly you’re the bottom of the pile, but you haven’t worked on yourself as much as you should have

Do fit men do better with women? Yes
But the picture you included does not represent the average fit man.
This is a guy on steroids with a photo worked on for hours on photoshop. He’s not real.

That doesn’t mean you can live life being fat or skinny either. You should be getting in shape

Do people prefer people men with money? Yes
But it doesn’t take millions to afford an apartment, food, drinks, and clothes
Which is all it takes

You don’t need a Lamborghini. But you can’t be riding a bicycle to work either.
(Except some places where that counts as cool)

The bottom line is:
There is a standard
But it’s not “unrealistic”
It does take work to achieve
But it’s entirely attainable so long as you start working for it.

Don’t get dragged down by the nay-sayers who would rather sit at home and complain about how the world is unfair to them
And don’t fall for the wannabe “alpha boys” trying to convince you that you need to work all day and night to try and be a millionaire at 25 else you’ll fail

Just set goals and work for them. Once reached, pat yourself on the back and set new goals

And don’t expect handouts either.
The world does not owe you a thing.

And above all, have some fun

EzraIsShy76028 · Accepted Answer

To a certain extent, maybe, but certainly not to the standards women are held. Think about why you see almost every female celebrity past a certain age getting tons and tons of surgery. They're trying to live up to conventional beauty standards so they don't lose a job for being "too old and unattractive." Not to mention even on a smaller level, wearing tons of makeup to cover any and all imperfections.

When it comes to men, online dating is pure hell. I think there's something like 90% men and 10% women on dating sites/apps. And a lot of those 10% women are bots/spam/scam accounts or whatever. There are more desperate men on there than desperate women.

But in real life, it's not nearly as bad. I see tons of guys that would be considered ugly and who are often overweight or underweight with girlfriends who look way better than they do.

Not to mention the "dad bod" that has become more desirable as of late. Dad bods are basically the male equivalent of the women's plus size movement.

Worthy of note, lots of women why say they prefer a dad bod over a fit athletic body might not necessarily be telling the truth. Some are just saying it because it's "trendy" or because they wanna come across as non-judgemental and accepting. To be fair same applies to a lot of men saying they prefer plus size women. Though there definitely are still women who prefer dad bods and men who prefer plus size women.

Point is, there's never a point in history that has been as desirable to be a fat man or fat woman as in right now, lol. This is referring to mostly English speaking countries, but yeah.

ohsheeT · Answer

That's the last thing in the world that I want to be is perfect

You just have to be real you have to be yourself you have to be honest you have to have a good heart you have to do the right thing you need to be a leader and not a follower

When we were born we were all giving a gift and that gift of choice we get to choose who we want to be in life by the things we say and do so why don't you just be happy everything else will come to you if you are real and if you are honest

Avicenna · Answer

„Pretty girl“= above average. Think that they will have more options and be more demanding? Focus your sights on the average ones and you’ll have more success.

D_D_D · Answer

@Paul04 hey brother listen carefully.. don't listen to what others say man.. if a girl is like what you're describing it means you really don't wanna date her bro trust me.. those girls are toxic and other than looks they got nothing inside to offer you and they'll only make your life miserable or cheat on you.. you're probably better off to stay away from that type of girls.. you wanna focus on finding a girl who first of all cares for you and not your stuff cuz eventually looks is only one step in attraction and if that's all they can offer you you'd probably grow sick of them soon enough and you'll find yourself searching for a cute girl who's got a good personality above all cuz eventually after the looks are fading all you're left with is the personality and if you're going to live the rest of your life with her you'd want her to have a good personality man.. so as hard as it can get don't let yourself drown in it man just know what you're worth and remind yourself that everyday and don't let others make you feel bad about yourself bro.. also after you'd find that kind of girl with whom you'd fall in love with her personality you'd find her attractive right there and you'd start realizing the prettiest little details about her and soon enough you'd find yourself falling for her and then you'd know that she's right for you.. anyway, I hope you'd find the right girl for you who will realize your worth regardless of your materialistic superficial stuff, cuz eventually you date the person not their house or car.. it'll come eventually man you're still young you got your whole life ahead of you now is not the time to quit.. good luck brother I wish you well man you got this😉🙏

Miristheiss · Answer

Many western women are pretty entitled and they expect all of the traditional, courting perks and romance that men used to court traditional, virtuous women with.

Now they want equality... when it is to their advantage, post sexy online stuff, go out drinking until 3, hang out in bars, cuss, get tattoos, pierce their faces and intimate parts, sleep around like whores... but then expect men to still be traditional, court, be romantic, take care of them, all of his finances are hers to waste, if they marry she is owed alimony to walk away.

Our grandmothers were 10 times what most of today's women are but today's women expect the highest quality men, every women "DESERVES" everything, they all deserve princess treatment, romance, to be courted, cared for, they all deserve some 8, 9, 10 level man. Most are slutty, loud, obnoxious, no character, disloyal, expect their simp man to respect the hell out of them, pay for everything, treat like a princess all while she is out at clubs, dressed like a whore, getting drunk on girls nights, posting sexy pics for all the men of the world to see, DM'ing with them, still flirting with other men and almost all women parrot men are controlling, insecure when they come across men who won't put up with these shitty boundaries and low class qualities. How many western women are there now that aren't online prostitutes with onlyfans or something but then expect love, to be valued, courted, romanced, cared for, expect men to marry and legally contract with these degenerates.

But they all DESERVE everything and the best of men.

Of course there are good women but the numbers of women who display today's culture rot have exploded in the west.

Abu_Kaboom · Answer

Allahu akbar! So you made your profile private just so we don't see that you're a spammer? I think that term is idiotic, but you deserve it.

It's like I avoid hearing this shit but I happen to hear a lot about how girls get unrealistic expectations from Instagram to the point of self harm.

"At least 6 feet tall" is a lie. I've been told more ridiculous shit than that line, like "six and a half feet tall", and they still spread legs as long as you aren't shorter than them. Even short men get some success. But if there is a rational on/off switch, it's that height where they can brag "he was taller than me, I don't know by how much without a ruler".

Being fit and hygiene is in your control. And men also rightly judge women for being unfit and ugly, so stfu about that.

As for the rest, you obviously are chasing retarded women, only retards want to date celebrities. They probably wear liquid paper bags 24/7 themselves due to insecurities as well. By chasing them you prove yourself to be a retard with a retarded taste in women.

Would you like the personality of someone so greedy they require you to make millions, even if it's easy for you to do so?

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

It is the story of a man named Stanley. Stanley was a good employee, he was listening closely to the instructions given to him. Stanley valued obedience, and obedience, so he was told, would be rewarding in the end. So he kept pushing the same button over and over. He created a perfect body, made for himself a perfect wallet and eventually got his hands on the perfect car. For building perfect appearances, Stanley has been rewarded with all the pretty girls. One for each day. But none of these girls seemed enough. The abyss inside him kept growing and growing. This was not the reward he expected. Stanley did push the same button. He did exactly what was asked from him. Stanley created all the necessary appearances, only to find himself rewarded with appearances. As expected .

Datboi65 · Answer

And I'm 22. Despite not looking for a relationship, I've received enough attention from women to know that I can get in one if I wanted to.

Don't sell yourself short. Nobody expects a 20 year old to be rich, that's just plain ignorance. The bar for a 20 year old to get a girl is extremely low. You have to have good hygiene, be presentable and not be awkward. Everything else is a plus. A lot of dudes ha

ve low self-esteem and that's why they don't get anything. Are you 30? When you turn 30, the girls will start asking you about your salary. Unless you're a future NFL prospect, they don't see you as a money grab. Stop worrying about the next man and start worrying about yourself.

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

Naw, this physique is achievable but it takes 100% devotion and gear. Since so few guys look like this, it doesn’t matter. You can look like an amateur version of these guys by lifting 3 times a week and dieting right, at least compared to average people-and you’ll stand out.

The standard they have that bothers me and a lot of others is how much money the guy has to make a year, his status in the company or community. It takes a lot of money to attract an attractive childless young woman to have the white picket fence, 2 car garage, 4 bedroom 2 bathroom house, 3 kids, dream life.

And they don’t understand ownership, the guy might own property that doesn’t generate much income, just enough for maintenance and other self expenses pretty much, but nope, doesn’t count. A guy could be a plumber or welder or own a plumbing business and make more than a lawyer, but nope,

thats not an attractive job, what will she tell her friends 😳😱

thatshydork · Answer

Honey, all my friends boyfriends and ex boyfriends look absolutely nothing like the millionaire influencers you’re describing and yet they still managed to find someone. Be a good guy with manners and respect for everyone (not just those you find attractive) and you’ll find someone eventually.

Jersey2 · Answer

When I was younger I met women easy and I was much of what you describe. Tall, had potential, and was in good shape as I was just out of boot camp. But, using your criteria seems to lead no where. The guy has many options and pretty girls come and go. Are you hanging your hat on being jacked? That won’t last and if it does he spends too much time elsewhere. Handsome is nice but being honest is best. And the vast majority of young guys are not making millions a year and if they are it was likely Daddy’s money if not, then they will be smarter than that to sign over half to you. With your criteria, I think you are setting yourself up to be used over and over until you finally figure it out in 10-15 years when the dating pool is shallow.

Unit1 · Answer

It truly can be perceived as such, especially when social media and certain gangster rap music videos boast like that and the girls (on social media) get propagated how they're all so rare and special and beautiful and unlike the others. Thus setting the bar that high.

These top 1% of men change girlfriends like they change their underwear.

Anonymous · Answer

hahahah this might sound harsh but I say this firmly and with every possible kindness… Thinking this is an expected standard from women is really quite insulting to women and also unrealistic to the point of delusional. If you want to believe what you see then instead of whining over homo-erotic soft porn on instagram , believing yourself to be somewhat less than , start looking at the couples in your life and that you see in every day life. That’s the norm !! that’s real!!. Have you spent any time talking to women? Do you have any friendships with women? Their perspective and experience will help you. Scanning through the reaponses from the women on here might be a good start !

mobiusforniner · Answer

Dude, I dated pretty girls all the time. I ain’t anything like the pictures but I’m also health conscious, care about my physical, spiritual and mental state and have good self grooming. I feel like if you put enough effort into feeling good about yourself, you shouldn’t have a problem

4ngelic · Answer

pretty girls only want good looking guys. though just run of the mill normal cute guys. being a multimillionaire, being 6ft2, having a body builder body, porn dick and maybe even being a bit of a celebrity, aren't like necessary stuff especially combined for the guy to have lmao

Levin · Answer

Too much time on instagram.

The men who are confident enough to put themselves out there, putting themselves in challenging social situations, and trying to live their best life, are getting women.

If you do everything behind a keyboard you have no chance. Nature abhors laziness.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Of course it's unrealistic. You just based your assumption from Instagram, where everything is fake. Practice discernment and social media detox, so you build healthy views on relationships and irl.

It'll be amusing if you have never seen a pretty girl with an "average" guy. 😀

BlessedBlend94 · Answer

Bro confidence is KEY!! Until two weeks ago I never got female attention often unless I was too insecure to notice.

I spent a week listening to non stop subliminal affirmations and testosterone boosting frequencies most of the day and all night. Since then I have still been listening to them at night and occasionally in the day.

Women have been smiling at me, winking at me, and just in general look at me like a king everywhere I go. And I am 5'3" and weight 120 lbs. And I ain't rich. I wake up before the sun and work like everyone else. All I ever needed was confidence.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Good grief. You poor deluded boy, I sincerely hope that monstrosity of a human is not what you think most women want.

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

Gerçek aşk böyle bir şey değildir, bir ilişki çıkarlar üzerine kurulamaz. Parası olmayan adamı sevdim, göbekli adamı da sevdim. Seni seven kişi seni olduğun gibi sevmelidir. Seni asla para ya da kas için sevmemeli.

msc545 · Answer

Of course this is the reality among men these days. The one you described is mandatory for women even if they personally don't have that strict a preference. Their girlfriends certainly do and they will humiliate them if they have a man who is less than the ideal. Dating women these days is a losing proposition and marriage is even worse for men. Men shouldn't do either of these things.

morganherrel · Answer

The standards facing men are only unrealistic if you want to date actually attractive women (which means they aren't fat).

This is very unrealistic for the overwhelming majority of young men.

I think you should lower your standards and you'll be fine! Good luck.

MemeSupreme · Answer

so you're complaining that it's harder for average looking men to get noticed by pretty girls lol you've been on the internet too much

marshmallowcream · Answer

Not true , you don’t have to be perfect.

There’s hundreds of ugly guys dating pretty girls (beauty is in the eye of the beholder )
However, having said this you do need to be somewhat at least “alright looking” to get some attention

Anonymous · Answer

I mean--if you want to live that lifestyle of a TOTAL baller, then yeah. But if you have more reasonable aspirations of just having a relationship with a woman, then not even close.

Figure out what you actually want and then put in the work dude.

Ironic_Method · Answer

Take a break from social media. 99% of people aren't like that and still have fulfilling relationships, you can too.

robocop666 · Answer

what women say they find attractive and what they react too are different. They will lie and say this does not appeal to them but see how they behave.

Med_guy1978 · Answer

There's definitely a lot of that out there, can be perceived as very materialistic but there are plenty of humble girls out there. You may be looking in the wrong places? Certain girls like certain types of men and there's a match for everyone.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yet I see a lot of pretty women with average guys, under 6', nowhere near $100K per year, let alone millions, who drive Camrys.

Sonora · Answer

Don't look at all that superficial stuff. A real woman won't care if you aren't rich or an "influencer" (whatever the hell that is). Be a real person who is interested in real girls.

Truthatanycost · Answer

Only those foolish enough to take any notice of what those unrealistic standards are...

paledreams · Answer

This is every other man's dream who isn't me - im 🤍 paledreams and enjoying my stride gratefully without strife - note the white

AmeerX · Answer

Get yourself off sites like Instagram please. You want to find someone good. Try to focus on character and not on their physical traits only.  Rest is in God's Hands what you get..

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Internet and social media life is no where near close to the actual day to day life out in the real world. Don't listen to idiots talking ish on social media.

blooming_fate · Answer

well your behavior and personality matter a lot, just because those guys are jacked doesn't mean a girl will stay with that guy for the rest of her life, she'll leave the moment she's been disrespected

Anonymous · Answer

yes and women don't care until the tables are turned on them and then feminists wanna cry "unrealistic standards"

DrPepper12 · Answer

Dude, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find the princess! It's tough but not impossible.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

It depends on what you look at all day.  You control your perspective and your standards for yourself before you abide by anyone else's

Chthou95 · Answer

You don't have to be muscular or ripped as hell. And although its not a guarantee being shape does increase your chances higher than if you were out of shape

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

That's not true it's easy for a man to get a pretty woman. It's women that are faced with unrealistic standards. Do you see all that woman have to go through to ne considered beautiful

Pohjolan · Answer

I wouldn't necessarily say unrealistic but a guy that would have been highly desirable in the 90:s may not be desirable at all today.

9in_Serpent · Answer

We all face unrealistic standars in this capitalist consumer hell that was pushed on us

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

Stop complaining. If you want to get buff, hit the gym.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

a lot of girls think those guys in the pictures are unnattractive and ugly, as so do i

coachTanthony · Answer

I know that guy lol

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe, but that's the Internet.

shades777 · Answer

Those marketers sure are good 😂

EyesOfGod · Answer

Bro needs more Rizzo

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