What does it mean if he says he NEVER wants to get married again?

[Anonymous]

My guy was married for about 30 years, she left him. He said, when we started dating he may change his mind. Fast forward a year and a half later. He said he NEVER wants to get married again. He’s not even sure why he said he may change his mind. What should I do? I would like at least some sort of commitment. He swears up and down he loves me, acts like he loves me. He said he doesn’t want to get remarried because he loves the way things are now and is afraid it will get boring if he remarried. He said he’s committed to me and only wants to be with me.

Updates

1 y

Oh btw- he says he doesn’t want to remarry because he doesn’t want to feel like he has to depend on anyone.

[Anonymous]

I can relate. Not to the marriage aspect. But after knowing enough women you realize there are some things that are almost universal with all women. Women do not think the same as men. So even if you care deeply about her, you will still always be at odds with her. Which means at any moment, for any reason, whether you've been together 2 weeks or 20 years, she might decide she's had enough and just decide to end the relationship.

My guess is you've simply given him enough to question whether you're a lifetime partner. He left the door open at the beginning hoping you'd change his mind about marrying again. But you didn't. Which is why he changed his take. Because you've confirmed over time you're simply too big of a risk.

Don't take it personal though. He hasn't ended the relationship because you're good enough to maintain a relationship. Just not a good enough risk to marry.

[Asker]

I’m not sure how I’m a risk though. I think there are many avenues besides marriage. Neither of us need to be dependent on the other financially. No risk there. I have my stuff together compared to other women. I think he stopped trying with his wife though because he got bored. Odd she lost a lot of weight about a year or two before the divorce.

[teamvic]

If I had to guess. It means he doesn't want to get married again

[teamvic]

If you guys are happy then I don't see the issue. After all it is just a title

But his reasons are quite odd. Marriage doesn't make a relationship boring. It's the lack of effort. So perhaps it'll be easier when or if you guys split rather than divorcing

But if it's a title and commitment you want. You may need to move on. Unless you force him to marry you. But then at that point. Is he really happy

[Nikki1989]

If a man says he never wants to get married again, it likely means that he has had a negative experience with marriage in the past. That doesn't mean he should get a free pass for his lack of backbone.

[Anonymous]

It means he doesn’t see anything in you to change his mind on marriage.

[Ironic_Method]

Sounds like he never wants to get married again.

[Asker]

Right but what should I do. Marriage or lack of isn’t a dealbreaker. Commitment is important though, especially down the road.

[Ironic_Method]

I think the commitment can still be there even if he doesn't want to get married.

[jahaims]

It means literally what was said