Am I overreacting about boyfriend canceling our Thanksgiving for work?

[Anonymous]

This was supposed to be our first holiday together. He planned the whole thing and had me invite my dad and family over.

Then yesterday he mentioned that he was going to work for Thanksgiving. I asked him what he meant and he said his boss asked him if he would work that day and he said yes since his custody agreement would mean that he wouldn't have his kids. He said "there's no point in staying home. Might as well make money."

That made me feel insignificant. I didn't say anything about it but now I'm questioning our relationship.

Our relationship is perfect and he's the best man I've ever dated. I've never been happier in my life. Except repeatedly feeling insignificant that he doesn't make plans with me on weekends but will with his neighbors- and I might get invited. He makes plans with his family- and I might get invited. Or he'll make plans to talk with me on the phone and I call and find out, he went out. He never makes plans to do anything with me except stay at his house.

He's extremely loving and kind but something feels off and I don't know if I'm overreacting.

[kylee2437]

Not that big of a deal. People that don’t work on holidays are totally entitled and don’t understand that some people are forced to work on holidays. I am forced to work on holidays. And I think ultimately if having dinner is super important to you with your family, tell your boyfriend that you would like to set up a dinner when he is not working so you can all have dinner with your family. Relationships are all about compromise, and it is way too early in your relationship to be arguing about stuff like this.

[Asker]

I also used to work holidays. His job doesn't require that he works on a holiday. He chose to work on the holiday after already making plans.

[osoli]

To me, it would be incredibly disrespectful to have me invite my dad and family, only for him to cancel because he has better things to do because he doesn’t have his kids over. What does that have to do with you and the plans you had? He’s not only disrespecting you but also your dad and family! This is truly unacceptable. If he wants a life with you, he has to plan it together with you. Your family is just as important as his. If he doesn’t value you enough to see that, it’s time to find a new boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a real dud. Surely, you can do better.

[Anonymous]

Well, it does sound like he is placing his kids over you, when it comes to importance.

[In_Trance]

yeah