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He should not have mentioned you going with them and then not give you an opportunity to say "yes" before the tickets were purchased. However, it would be extremely unfair to your family to be in Hawaii with your boyfriend on your 18th birthday and not share the event with your family.
He is your age so he is not in charge of the vacation just as you are not totally in charge of your life. So treat it as a regrettable circumstance that is no one's fault and don't magnify it into a bigger problem.
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That's rough. I live in Hawaii. Would your parents have said yes? How much time did the Dad give you? Keep in mind tickets have to be booked by a certain date or they sell out or go up in price. is it ttoo late to add you? Find out and if there is, ask your parents immediately so you can give his Dad the answer. Don't wait.
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