Advice for an ugly girl trying to date, but personality doesn’t seem to be enough?

[TheOGDUFF]

I’ve always been told I have a good personality & homelike nurturing vibes, by coworkers, strangers online that laugh at my jokes, and people I meet with, but for some reason it doesn’t seem to be good enough for relationships. I’m a 2/10 & maybe a 3.7/10 on my best day, big at the top little at the bottom, liner backer, 1950s refrigerator body shape.. the gym just thins me out but my shape stays the same (since I can’t magically grow hip bones or change the genetics god settled me with through exercise). I’m 100% it’s my appearance at this point since I’m always friendzoned or made the place holding fuck buddy bc “I’m still a great person to be around” (heard that at least 5 times). I’m 25 and wanted to build a family but it isn’t looking good for me time wise since I am on a biological clock. Should I just give it up and accept my fate or just continue to mindlessly swim through you guys and just cross my fingers that I miraculously stumble upon the right one?

Updates

1 y

Anybody please 😭

[SueShe]

You are too focused on dating and on your biological clock ticking. You are starting a downwards spiral because of the importance you give on looks and looks only.

Leave those dating apps if you are on those because those guys are only looking to get into your pants and then forget you.

If you want to find someone for life then you have to look elsewhere than dating apps. Take up a hobby or join a club where you can meet people that share the same interests as you do. Only by knowing you more than just superficially will they recognize your true values. Those reside on the inside and not so much on the outside as per your own descriptive.

Sharing the same interests is where you are likely to find someone that sees beyond your shell. Good luck.

[TheOGDUFF]

Did you read my description? I did say they’ve all said I had an amazing personality, and that I’m a great person to be around (at that stage me and whomever have already discussed and found our similar interests which is why they want to keep me as a friend or friends with benefits) I feel like my personality and values are only going to take me so far when a man wants to look at something beautiful and he knows that there is better out there somewhere. As far as the going out part I can’t afford transportation outside of going to work and school, while saving for a new place, so all my money is always tied into responsibilities and obligations. So all my hobbies would have to be digital or something I could do while at home. I don’t have friends for the same reason (people in my hometown are pretty shallow, literally been told a couple times I didn’t fit the aesthetic they were going for in a friend group or their lifestyle so they stopped talking to me, or we were friends and they had sex with the person I was interested in at the time (one even got pregnant 🙃))

[TakingitEasy15243]

You should stop sleeping around and being used. It won't be fair to your future husband that you we're used as a cum rag. I know it can be tough but trust me, men outnumber women by a lot so its tougher for us. Honestly when it comes to your body type you need to stop making excuses. Lower body you need to start squating and doing leg presses with really heavy weight. On top weight lifting small weights high reps. Then start walking 2 days a week and jogging 3.

Might be controversial but perhaps look into cosmetic surgery. Use makeup well and dress better. I know I'm making this sound tough. But the reality is if you don't change you'll never be happy so do what you have to.

[TheOGDUFF]

Wow it’s kind of like this only happens once every 3-5 years when I finally have the heart to take another chance, or maybe hmm I don't know, I don’t accept every friends with benefits preposition, dude surgery is my only option I have extremely broad shoulders I don’t see where y'all are seeing that I said I was fat or morbidly obese… the bones of my chest and shoulders are significantly wide and my pelvic area is super narrow… the only thing I could do is surgery, I was telling someone earlier anytime I try weight training consistently I barely have any growth it just makes my muscles firmer after the point where the growth stops, the biggest health nut in my family can’t bulk up bc of our genes, he is the same way, at his most fit he physically cannot bulk up no matter how many lbs he lifts, benches, or how much protein he eats, but he still gains the strength from consistently working out.

[TheOGDUFF]

Siri if I meant preposition I would’ve typed that… I SAID PROPOSITION

[TakingitEasy15243]

I hear you but when that happens the reason is repeating the same excercises. You have to mix it up to grow, I used to be the same way. Like 115 soaking wet but gained 55 pounds lifting heavy. If you have a huge frame you're truly struggling with you'll have to try your best to counter balance it and get those legs huge. Also try butt exercises to get bigger hips. A picture would help to see how severe this "problem" really is

[TheOGDUFF]

I don’t have many pictures of myself but I found one

[Staximus]

Life is less disappointing when you stay in your league. That's reality. I'm kind of short, kind of fat, and getting old. I don't have a good job or any money, either. I'm not going to expect a woman who looks like a model and has a purse that costs more than my car to be interested in me, that's not realistic. Start looking for guys that are in your league. Get on a diet and go to the gym. Lose the fat and do exercises that build up your thighs and buttcheeks. Work with what you have.

[Staximus]

I said this plenty of times before on here, any girl can get a boyfriend. The ugliest girl at my high school always had a boyfriend all through high school. The ugliest girl out of 4500 students (about 2300 girls). Why? because she stayed in her league and she put forth the effort.

[TheOGDUFF]

I don’t go for rich men or high status men, not even the popular or super attractive boys trust me I know better, I want to salvage the bits of my heart I have left lol, I always go for the ones in my league or ones I usually have to end up helping. Its the ones that are in my league that always want more than me, I’ve tried the gym thing a few times, first time it thinned me out and I could REALLY see how disproportioned my body was, the last few times after doing it consistently my thighs and butt didn’t grow the muscle just got firmer and firmer but little to absolutely no growth, I’ve tried countless workout books, apps, guides and plans. It’s just a gene I got I don't know why, my oldest cousin is a retired rugby player and even at his absolute FITTEST he could never bulk up no matter how much protein he consumed, but his muscles were very toned and he is very strong

[TheOGDUFF]

It just kind of sucks knowing that because I’m unattractive i won’t really have the choice of being with someone I'm physically attracted to like majority of everyone else 🫤 pretty much a “you best get in where you can fit in” situation, especially bc im not going to want to have sex with someone I'm not attracted to so that brings up another issue 😭 finding a man that would be okay with a sexless relationship if I wasn’t physically attracted to him.

[Lynx122]

Just keep trying and be patient. Try and find men who are not visually blessed but have a good personality as well :) I don't know how to help you otherwise sry.

[Billlewis]

Be less nice -- and preferably much less nice. Regardless of how attractive a woman is, if she acts as though every guy in town should be lining up to kiss her ass, she'll always have plenty of guys interested in her.

[ThinkerShell]

DM me
I have things to tell you but comments don't work good

[TheOGDUFF]

I can’t I have to be a level 2 🫤

[ThinkerShell]

Follow my account and you'll be able to
I just followed you

[Anonymous]

Nah, that's not your problem. I can see your profile pic and you are far from a 2 or 3. More likely you're targeting men that are 8,9,'s and 10's.

[TheOGDUFF]

Nah I already know I’d never have a chance with them.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, you should mindlessly swim through guys. Because based on your other responses it looks pretty clear that's inevitable. You ain't ugly, except inside.

[TheOGDUFF]

And how do my responses warrant me being ugly on the inside? Just would like to congratulate on on being the first person I’ve ever encountered to ever had that opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

Because you want guys that have A LOT of options because you think so little of yourself. So if you can get one of those " in demand" guys you think it'll make you feel better about yourself. But it won't. And your fighting an uphill battle with that. Even if you do get that guy you'll most likely be a side piece. Which is why if you can't have that you want a sexless relationship with a not so attractive guy. So you can at least have your emotional needs met without having to touch his revoltingness.😆

I really don't care what you do. Be celibate, be multiple Chad's penis pin cushion, my job is only to help you be self realized with who you are. That's what we're here for, to help. If you don't want it and want to believe something false that's your choice. We can't help everyone. But I'm not going to lie to you and just tell you something you want to hear.

[In_Trance]

Seek professional help

[TheOGDUFF]

For what exactly? This is a serious question based on all of my experiences…

[In_Trance]

For self image

[jahaims]

Date other ugos

[TheOGDUFF]

Then that’s a whole other issue.. finding one that would be okay with having a sexless relationship