Upset with my boyfriend but he thinks I'm being unreasonable. Am I?

[Anonymous]

So I'm pretty upset with my boyfriend and he thinks I'm being unreasonable.

We have a special day planned for holiday pictures with our son. We had him earlier this year, so this is his first holiday season and this is our first holiday season as a family instead of just the two of us. It's really special and exciting.

He agreed to do holiday pictures because he agreed he really wants to make this first year special too. So we picked our place and he helped me choose a date and time. He specifically chose a certain time so his job wouldn't interfere with it because he really wants us to be together as a family.

I was really happy he wanted to be involved and it meant so much to him.

Well, now he is telling me he volunteered to work overtime the day of our pictures. I thought he was kidding at first since he likes to play jokes so I just laughed it off. He was serious. He really did sign up for volunteer overtime that date. I was really upset when I found out. Why would you do that when you picked that time just so you could be there? He told me it wasn't a big deal and it would be fine and not rushed. No. With when he'll get off, it will definitely be hard to get ready and make it on time, especially getting a baby ready. I told him this and he keeps trying to reason with me that it'll be fine. Well, to me, it's not. It's very inconsiderate. He is the type who never volunteers for overtime because he doesn't even like his company very well and they don't treat him good. He hates when they do mandatory overtime. Yet he wants to volunteer for a time we have family plans?

To me, if it was truly important to him and mattered, he would have never even volunteered. He would have said no thanks, I have plans with my family. Instead he says sure then wants to make me the jerk when he asks if it's ok he did it and I'm upset.

Am I overreacting or is it acceptable for me to be upset with him over this? Would you consider this rude? How would you handle this?

[teamvic]

I dont think you're being unreasonable

You guys specifically set the date and he just so happened to volunteer the same Dammn day. Out of allllll days

Which is telling me two potential reasons.

1. He's certain and very optimistic he can get back and to the picture place on time. Without a doubt. And knows something that you don't that is making him see he can make it on time

Or 2. He wasn't as excited about it as he led you to believe and just told you that to make you happy

As for what you should do. Well hmm. If you guys miss it you're gonna have to reschedule it at a time even if it's during work and make his ass call in sick or some shit🤔😂

I mean you don't have many options here ma'am.

[teamvic]

Hmmm I wonder what that random code shit is. Ignore that haha

[Asker]

I just think it's really damn rude of him to do that when he isn't one to volunteer for extra stuff and he chooses to do that RIGHT a very special and specific date we planned exactly for the reason of work not impacting it. So I'm not happy at all. Then when he knows I'm not happy, he just shrugged it off and acts like its ridiculous for me to be mad. Well wtf? These are for holiday pictures so it's very hard to get a spot because this is a popular place because of their quality work. So if we lose this spot, we probably won't get a holiday spot this season. Exactly why we planned it as soon as they opened their holiday placements and exactly why I thoroughly went over the options for him so he could choose something that work wouldn't interfere with. He swore this would be fine and he wouldn't be working at all during that time. And now he volunteers for overtime at that specific time when he's not one to volunteer otherwise. It makes me feel like my feelings don't matter and my opinion is invalid.

[teamvic]

I mean I totally get where you're coming from and why you're annoyed by it

And believe me, if you ever need me. I'll always listen and give advice. But don't you think you should be telling HIMMM😆 that you don't feel like your feelings matter to him🤔😂

And don't let him just say you're over reacting or anything. Remember communication is key my friend. Tell him how you really feel about it and why you feel he's not taking It serious. And if you guys miss the photoshoot he gone die

Okay maybe not that part. But make sure you bring up the problems and why you feel that way. Don't let him just keep shrugging it off buddy

I believe in you

[teamvic]

Don't forget to tell him how he acts sometimes makes you feel like your opinions are invalid and your feelings don't matter! That's key

Don't let him put your feelings aside. And YOU don't let you put your feelings aside either😌

[Asker]

I told him right away I was not happy about that and asked why in the hell he would decide to volunteer especially that day. His excuses were not good at all and that made me madder. Now all he does is ask why I'm mad. Gee I don't know. I've explained it and it clearly means nothing since he still went through with it.