Is my boyfriend being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

So I’m going to try to summarize because it’s a lot. This recent episode started 5 days before his birthday when he calls me asks what we are doing on Saturday (his birthday) and if I had asked for the day off of work. I was at the moment studying for my last final that was the next day. He got mad when I told him it had so much going on that it had slipped my mind to ask for the day off. He hung up. After I finished studying I looked up my schedule and texted him we could do something after since I get out at 2:30 pm. He texted me “it’s ok I have plans”. Ended up he had to work too 😑

We are now doing something today (post birthday celebration). Last night he called me up and demanded a time that I would get up and be ready by. I explained to him that I had had a long weekend at work and 3 hours sleep the night before (headache and had to get up early for work). He got mad and still demanded a time. Even though he’s apologized multiple times, he is still mad. Not to mention all the little things he said here and there like “ it’s the only day I can make you care” and “I’m not going to try for you anymore”.

Updates

+1 y

I should probably make this clear, all the days he wanted to do something for his birthday I was up for. He ended up having to work so we couldn’t do anything until after. I agreed to do something today with him and that’s what’s going to happen, all that I asked of him was to let my sleep a little longer because of not getting sleep the night before.

[AviatorTom]

Your boyfriend is disappointed that you think so little of him that you won't celebrate his birthday. If anyone is being unreasonable, you are. You are only considering yourself... think of him too. In a good relationship, we often give up our own pleasure to please our partner. I suggest you plan something really nice to celebrate his birthday, albeit late, and follow through with it. If you can't do that. maybe it's time to break up and be alone... your actions indicate that seems to be what you want.

[Asker]

We are celebrating late because he had to work. Wasn’t because of me. Also, I was constantly giving him options for him birthday and he still stayed mad so take your negativity somewhere else

[AviatorTom]

Re: your update. Your first sentence is incorrect... you forgot to ask for the time off, meaning you forgot it was his birthday. And today, why not put him first, forget about sleeping in, you can catch up on sleep later... that's what a guy expects of his girlfriend on his birthday, instead, from the guy's view, you're being selfish.

I'm not being negative, just explaining your boyfriend's view as to why he's mad... well, actually more disappointed than mad... from a guy's viewpoint.

[Asker]

It isn’t incorrect, he had to work so we couldn’t do anything. He had wanted me and his friends to hang out that night which I could do since I worked in the morning. Funny though, we set a time for my birthday and he didn’t show up until 2 and half hours later than we planned because he had stuff to do. I guess the same rules don’t apply to guys.

[AviatorTom]

At least he showed up for your birthday 😊

[Asker]

Ok wow so it is different rules for guys. Never said I wouldn’t show up for his birthday, quite the opposite.

[AviatorTom]

Just curious... are you blonde? You didn't show up for his birthday; he did for yours, albeit late, and your excuse about his working is invalid... he most likely decided to work after he found out you weren't going to do anything on his birthday... and you don't get that.

[Emerald55346]

He may be having a low sense of self worth and wants you to sacrifice or struggle to prove you care, it’s hard to say because the fact you forgot to ask for the day off implies you forgot about his birthday, which can be hurtful and it seems like your schedules just don’t synk. I don’t think he is being unreasonable it seems he’s just feeling less than after that and is looking for a exceptional gesture from you to make up for it. I’m sure you apologized but when apologizing even tho you had some valid reasons for it slipping your mind, it’s important to leave them out of the apology as much as possible because it can be confused with justification of what happened and to a certain extent invalidates that persons feelings.

[abc3643]

He's needy.
Hit the eject button on him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY8zxRjOuak