How do I get over this fear?

[Anonymous]

So I met this girl online about a year and a half ago. And she’s basically my girlfriend, but kind of. We plan to see each other in three months. And from then, we’ll see if we want to be together (mostly her). But she does want to sleep together regardless. However, I don’t care about that. I’m just worried if she won’t have feelings for me in person. And it scares me. I’m not scared of anything in this world, except that. Because I love her. And she’s everything I ever wanted. So I been working on myself in the meantime. Like I literally go to the gym for hours every single day because of her. And I have all my clothes planned out for when I meet her. I even been taking outfit ideas from Pinterest just for my visit with her. I bought like 20 different colognes so far, because I’m trying to find the best fragrance in my opinion for her. And so many other things. I know I’m trying so hard for her, but she’s literally the first girl in my life that likes me entirely. Like I been with girls who completely ignored me, or not like me as much back. But not her. She even gave me a lot of birthday presents before. And I bought her like around 2k worth of presents back because of how much it meant to me. No girl has gone out of their way for me as she has. And I’ve been looking for years. She’s potentially the one if things go good, but I’m stressing over my insecurities with past experiences from women. Like we both are ourselves when we chat, but you never know….

[Oliverlogan263]

I totally get why you're stressed dude, that's a legit fear to have. Long distance is tough and meeting in person for the first time is a big milestone. But it sounds like you really care about this girl and she cares about you too from everything you described. A few things that might help:

- Try to focus on the present - right now she says she likes you for you and you have an amazing connection online. Don't get ahead of yourself worrying about what might happen.

- Remember all the gestures she's made to show she cares - the gifts, thoughtfulness, effort into your talks. That's a really good sign she's serious about you.

- Keep working on yourself in a healthy way, like lifting, but also make sure you're doing it for YOU too, not just for her approval. You deserve to feel confident just as you are.

- When you meet, be your genuine, caring self. Going all out with outfits/cologne isn't necessary if you have a real emotional connection already.

- Give it time in person before putting pressure on her for an answer. Enjoy exploring your chemistry together and keep communication open.

- Most importantly, try to trust that this could be real. You deserve an amazing girlfriend - don't self-sabotage from past hurts. Stay positive!

You got this man. In three months just focus on having fun meeting your friend. I have a good feeling it'll go great.

[strateguy632]

Just assume she is a different person so won't be like those others.