How do I get over this fear? Is this something I should worry about?

So I would like to be a traditional woman in a relationship. But I have fears that hold me back.

I'm afraid of a toxic relationship where I'm doing those womanly duties of taking care of the house and making the food and all that. But I'm afraid my future husband will take me for granted and treat me very disrespectfully as a result.

I only say this and fear this because I've seen it with my friends who lived with their boyfriends. After a while the guy starts being disrespectful, demanding things, ordering the girl around and it's not at all respectful and healthy.

I'm afraid of that, I would never treat my husband like that when he goes out to work or when he fixes things around the house/the car. I would be really grateful and show him my love and appreciation.

I'm afraid that won't be reciprocated for me. He'll be mean and put me down and stuff. I don't know, I fear that extremely much.

Also I would like to say I was raised by a narcissistic father. I remember from a young age until basically I moved out, I would make dinner and do womanly duties. I didn't mind it, in fact I liked it.

But throughout the entire time my dad would nitpick everything I did putting me down 24/7. When I would spend hours in the kitchen making food and putting a ton of effort like making soup, salad, entre and dessert. It was like he was never happy with anything, he would say, "You could have done this better. You didn't do this so the food is alright. I'll show you how to cook better next time." (he literally didn't know how to cook at all).

And I just took it every time but every time a part of my soul was slowly dying lol. Then I developed a depression which I didn't understand. I saw a therapist and the lady told me basically that my dad was the reason why I hate myself and my life. I never knew, even though yeah I knew his gaslighting and manipulation wasn't normal when he'd make me feel bad but I didn't know it was that bad to make me develop depression.

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So yeah basically my questions is... Is this something I should fear and worry about 100% of the time? Are there a lot of guys who will be exactly like my dad except for the narcissism hopefully... But basically nitpick me, order me around and not respect me. I'm just really afraid.
How do I get over this fear? Is this something I should worry about?
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