Guy I met online is nervous to meet me because he feels fat. Should I just give him time?

[Anonymous]

We met online on accident a couple weeks ago (not a dating app). We really hit it off like we both haven’t experienced before (talking all day and up until 4am). He thinks I’m gorgeous and a 12/10. I recognize i am attractive and my body is really well fit and objectively I would be rated high by men. He’s really in his head about this. He hasn’t dated for 3 years. He told me straight up he doesn’t feel enough for me and has mentioned he has a little belly chub. He told me ever since we’ve been talking he started working out like crazy and dieting because he’s scared he won’t measure up physically. He’s also 8 years older and he just feels crusty compared to me. I’ve told him I don’t see him this way and find him incredibly attractive but he said the body photos he sent me aren’t the most recent. He’s crazy about me, but I can tell he’s putting distance until we meet to lose weight. We’ve made plans and he has rescheduled. Is this a real thing for men?

[AviatorTom]

Like most people, a man does not like being rejected, yet many men know that many women will reject them if they don't fit the woman's ideal physically fit male.

If you like the guy, let him know that, and that you appreciate him trying to be more healthy. Then see what happens.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer. I’ve told him this, I encourage and support him but I’ve also said this isn’t a huge factor for me but he doesn’t believe it since I’m so fit. One moment he’s making plans and the next he’s saying let’s reschedule for when we’re ready

[AviatorTom]

Suggestion... you make plans for him and you, rather than letting him make plans and then delay them.

[Anonymous]

If you have not done a FaceTime or video chat from him then let me hold your hand while I tell you this: that is SUS. He is HIDING. I am not trying to put you on the defensive, just be sure he is who he says he is outside of just pictures, and that he’s not simply buying himself time until you figure out the truth about his identity. This is just some guy you stumbled upon online.

[Asker]

We’ve snap chatted in real time. He has sent me videos talking to me

[Opinion Owner]

In these videos talking to you, was he showing himself? What about the Snapchats, are they usually of him or just what he’s doing? I also never really answered your question directly, and to be honest I’m not sure if you should just give him time or not. For one, if he knew he was this insecure about his weight, doesn’t want to be seen, why does he bother pursuing women? This was going to happen inevitably because you are going to want to see him. Losing weight in a way that really shows and doing it healthily could take months. You’d never want to make him uncomfortable by asking for updates but I mean, he probably won’t update you on his progress and you won’t know if he’s actually losing weight vs buying time. I’m not trying to be difficult with him by any means but I am skeptical of his true identity.

[jahaims]

You are in your 30s and he is 8 years older. He is too old to being having confidence issues. Sounds like a waste of time.

[Asker]

I’m in my 20s. My age on here is wrong lol

[Ironic_Method]

Time and assurance! I imagine he wants to look his best for you for that good first impression.

[Anonymous]

Nice troll post. 😆

Let's not pretend like attractive women date fat guys.😆

[Asker]

He isn’t fat fat, I think he just has a small belly