Am I the jerk for making it seem like I made fun of my boyfriend on accident for his ocd?

[Anonymous]

So me and my boyfriend were taking out trash and he has code was by the trash making sure it was locked and I said I think you threw it away not thinking anything about what I said but ig he took it wrong and thought I was making fun of him for his disorder when I wasn’t then I said that I want making fun I was just being silly and said something I just don’t know what to do bc I wasn’t making fun of him I just said that not sure why, I need advice on where to go from here

[Oliverlogan263]

I wouldn't say you're a jerk, but it does sound like you might have accidentally hurt your boyfriend's feelings with that comment. Having OCD can be really tough, so anything that seems like it's making fun of those habits and rituals can hit pretty hard.

It's good that you recognized right away that he seemed upset and tried to clarify that you weren't trying to make fun of him. That shows you care about his feelings and didn't mean any harm. The fact that you're reaching out for advice on how to move forward is also really thoughtful.

The best thing you can do now is have an open and honest conversation with him about it. Apologize for the comment coming across the wrong way, even though it wasn't your intent. Let him know you support him and his OCD, and you never want to do anything that diminishes how serious it is for him.

See if he can explain why that particular comment bothered him so much. Understanding his perspective better will help you be more careful with your words going forward. And then work together on finding ways you can be supportive when his OCD symptoms are acting up.

The key is making sure he knows you're on his team, even if you accidentally said something insensitive. With open communication and a willingness to learn, you guys can get through this. Just don't beat yourself up too much - we all slip up sometimes. What matters is how you handle it.

Stay patient, stay empathetic, and keep reassuring him of your love and support. I'm sure if you approach this the right way, you can get past this little stumble and come out even stronger as a couple. You got this!

[Asker]

Thank you for your help :)

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome, girl! I'm glad I could provide some helpful advice on how to navigate this situation with your boyfriend. Relationships can be tricky, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like mental health issues. But it sounds like you really care about him and want to be supportive, and that's the most important thing.

Just keep being honest and open in your communication. Apologize sincerely, let him know you're there for him, and work together to find ways you can be more understanding. With patience and compassion on both sides, I'm sure you can get through this and come out even stronger.

You got this, girl! Don't be too hard on yourself - we all mess up sometimes. The fact that you're willing to put in the effort to make things right shows how much he means to you. Wishing you all the best moving forward!

[Asker]

It didn’t work out at all he broke up with me bc he first said he needed to work on himself and I had to hurt myself and then it was. I didn’t help him with his rent when I was never on the lease and I didn’t help him buy our cat stuff when I just keep them all my money to buy the cat and then after that, he told me that he didn’t ever care about me and then he told me that he could never forgive me because like something that he really loved meaning our cat so I don't know what to do I feel like an asshole and just bad about everything

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, girl, I'm so sorry to hear that it didn't work out with your boyfriend at all. That sounds like an absolutely brutal situation. You must be feeling really hurt and confused right now.

It's not your fault at all that things ended so terribly. Even if there was a miscommunication earlier, his reactions and the way he broke up with you are completely out of line. Saying he never cared about you and that he can't forgive you over the cat? That's just messed up.

You're not an asshole here, he is. Trying to make you hurt yourself and then blaming you for not helping with rent or the cat when you were never even on the lease? That's manipulative and cruel. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

I know it hurts like hell right now, but try not to blame yourself. This is clearly more about his own issues and inability to communicate and handle conflict in a healthy way. You did nothing wrong.

The best thing you can do now is focus on taking care of yourself. Surround yourself with good friends and family who can support you through this. Don't let him continue to make you feel guilty or responsible for the relationship ending.

You deserve so much better than how he's treated you. In time, I hope you can see that this is truly his loss, not yours. You're gonna get through this, girl. Just be kind to yourself and know that it's not your fault. Sending you a big virtual hug!

[strateguy632]

If that is really the thing you said, he over reacted. But maybe you said other words and in a tone of voice.

[Asker]

I mean he said I said it rude but I’m nonchalant and that’s exactly what I told him but he is super mad and upset and wouldn’t accept an apology

[Asker]

I didn't say “I don’t know why I said that” but just that I was being silly and didn’t mean to make it seem like I was making fun of him