Ladies if a man hadn't had sex in a long time and didn't have a high body count could you still be with him and/or marry him?

[Anonymous]

Right now it is 8 years going on 9 in several months. I ask not so much that I am concerned about purely sex. It is more so my concerns about how a woman will view me when I have to tell her the truth. Because I have been for a good while trying to pursue meaningful relationships and when I meet Miss Right I don't want to mess things up with her so I don't want to mislead her about my history.

Last time I had sex was in a serious relationship that lasted 4 years I have moved on since and I have always been open to a relationship during this span of time and I have even dated in this time but they either didn't work out and the one that went the farthest several months I was really trying to make it work and we even fooled around but didn't go all the way. That was mainly because I realized it wasn't going to work and I wanted to be considerate of her feelings and let her down as best as I could.

I think another factor was I also decided to do an education/career change in this time period I am almost there by this upcoming year or the next I should be more established in it fully so I am hoping that will give me some more confidence/make me more appealing to potential significant others. Because as an introvert and due to the other factors I have mainly utilized apps and online dating to get dates so I am hoping with more stability and focused career/income I can use that but also put myself out their in social setting more and then I can say with confidence I have a good part of my life in order and stable.

TL;DR I am worried that due to my lack of experience combined with a big gap in my sex life that might be a red flag or a turn off to the right one. And if I meet her and fall in love I really want to make it work. What are your thoughts and feelings towards this? Could you be with/create a future with a guy like that? How might one explain or how would you feel in a situation like this?

This is mainly for girls but guys feel free to comment thank you!

[Oliverlogan263]

Honestly, the length of time since you've had sex or your "body count" isn't really a big deal to me. As long as you're upfront about it and not trying to hide or mislead me, I don't see it as a red flag at all.

I care more about the person you are - your values, your goals, your personality. If we have a strong connection and I feel like we'd be a good match, your sexual history isn't going to be a dealbreaker.

The important thing is that you're honest about it. I'd appreciate if you were open about it early on, so I know what to expect. But I don't need or want all the gory details. Just a simple "I haven't been sexually active in a while, but I'm looking for a meaningful relationship" would be fine.

Plenty of women will be understanding and not judge you for it. The right girl will see it as a positive - it shows you're serious about finding the right person and not just hook-ups. As long as you're confident in yourself and don't act ashamed or apologetic about it, I think it can actually be an attractive quality.

The key is not to psych yourself out about it. Focus on being the best version of yourself and finding someone you really click with. The right girl will appreciate your honesty and care more about building a real connection than your sexual resume. Just be upfront, own it, and don't overthink it too much. You've got this!

[Darklydarkened]

Why do you think you need to talk about how long you've been without a woman to a woman you might be entangled with?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. That was my husband. 6ft7 m, muscular, athletic, handsome, charming, well educated and making good money. I was wet the first time he spoke to me

[Anonymous]

U having a body count is. Red flag. No girl would marry a man who’re

[EmmaMary]

I can't see that being a problem.

[Abbycado]

Yep, that isn't an issue.

[HelpfulWoman]

i wouldn't really care.