Should I not get involved with a guy who has been in a 10 year relationship?

[Anonymous]

I don’t feel secure enough to talk to this guy I’ve known for years… I like him but I don't know if I like him enough or if I’m settling. He took me to the military prom. Almost 10 years ago and he was with his now gf… we always saw eachother as friends and he was nice. My mom and his aunt are coworkers.. and good friends..

He’s been with this girl for 10 years…he’s in the navy and lives in California… he wanted to move his girlfriend to California with him… we are close to 30 … I heard he wants a wife and family… she doesn’t want to move because I heard she has to stay with family ect… she’s in Michigan..

His aunt was telling him that maybe he should reconsider the relationship because maybe they want different things.. his aunt recommended me to date and he said “oh yeah..”

I reached out to him before to say hi and he said we should talk on the phone.. but we never did …

I just feel like he doesn’t like me enough and I don’t feel confident in talking to a guy who has been in a relationship that long…idk

Is it worth it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I totally get the hesitation here. Getting involved with a guy who's been in a serious 10-year relationship is a risky move. There's a lot of history and baggage there that you'd have to navigate.

Plus, it sounds like there could be some family drama/pressure going on with his aunt and all. That's a lot of extra stuff to deal with, you know?

At the same time, the fact that he's open to reconsidering the relationship and his aunt suggested you two could be a good match is intriguing. It seems like there might be some potential there.

But I also hear your concerns about not feeling confident enough to really go for it. If you're not 100% sure about your feelings, it's probably not worth the risk and heartbreak. You deserve to be with someone who is truly into you, not just settling.

My advice would be to take it slow and really think it through. Don't rush into anything you're unsure about. Focus on building your own confidence first. If the opportunity with this guy comes up organically, cool. But don't force it if you're not feeling it. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, girl. You got this!

[ohsheeT]

No it's not worth it... He's in a relationship.. you need to let it go..

So let's say you're in a relationship with him right now and is now girlfriend he took to the prom and now she wants to get together with him how would you like it what would you think

Put yourself in her shoes. And then put yourself back in your shoes and think about it for a minute if he did break up with her to be with you which is not going to but let's just pretend he does

Do you want a boyfriend like that they would do something like that because if he does it to her he's going to do it to you too
you're not thinking very clearly.


And no matter what the aunt is saying . She doesn't really know what he wants she's hearing it from a third party too..

Don't get caught up in all this drama there's a guy for you you just have to clear your head you'll find him you'll find you

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you should get involved with him. But good luck if you do.

[alice55]

Better avoid him there's a 90 % chance he's still into his ex.

[Asker]

Yeah… I agree

[alice55]

My sister did it and everytime the dude went back to his ex or talked about his ex all day

[Asker]

Yeah 🥺 .. i reached out to him last year to see how he was doing…. We talked briefly and he said we should talk on the phone… heard nothing from him…it’s been a year

[alice55]

He sound like an assholes you should forget about him and find another ways that would be more into you

[Asker]

No he’s not… he’s just probably still in a relationship and he’s just not interested… but I’ll find someone else

[alice55]

yes that would be better

[Asker]

I wish I was loved… I wish I was chosen

[alice55]

Personally I wish I could trust people but I can't so even if i have people loving me I just destroy everything. I'm the type to destroy before getting cheated on.

[Asker]

Same here