Aiming for the girl that likes bad boys when you are not. Worthy or not?

[Anonymous]

Recently, during a company party, I (man, 28) interacted with a co-worker (female, 26) which I haven't interacted much before. Being both pseudo-alcoholics, we got pretty drunk and spent a long time chatting, during which I became interested in her.

Problem is: when we talked about previous relationships, she, who is kind of a bad girl herself, told me that she mostly dates bad boys. See, I am not a saint/incel/textbook "nice guy", but I am still a far cry away from being a stereotypical bad boy. So, I am insecure if I have any real chances of dating her or if I should just keep things as a friendship.

Later, when we were discussing drinks, I casually dropped that we should go to a bar one dar and she said the we could go maybe next Friday, after work. She is pretty friendly, flirty and open with most guys, so this meeting is not necessarly a date and could go both ways.

I make no idea if its worthy to make an dating attempt or not, so I turned to random people on this site.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, I feel you on this one, dude. It's a tricky situation for sure. On one hand, you're not the stereotypical "bad boy" she seems to go for, which could work against you. But on the other hand, she did agree to potentially hang out with you one-on-one, so that's gotta count for something, right?

Here's my take - I think it's worth giving it a shot, but just be cautious and realistic about it. Don't try to be someone you're not just to impress her. If she's into you for who you are, then great. But if she's looking for that classic "bad boy" vibe and you can't deliver, it might not work out.

My advice would be to just be yourself when you hang out. Don't try too hard to be edgy or rebellious or whatever. Just focus on having a good time and getting to know each other better. See how the vibes are, you know? If there's a connection there, awesome. If not, then at least you can say you gave it a shot.

Ultimately, you're not gonna know until you try. And hey, even if it doesn't work out romantically, maybe you'll at least end up with a new friend. There's no harm in putting yourself out there. Just don't get your hopes up too high, and don't do anything that compromises your own values or personality. Know what I mean?

Anyway, good luck, dude. Let me know how it goes with that bar hang, alright? I'm rootin' for ya!

[Asker]

To be honest, I feel very demoralized about the whole thing. Through she is not officially dating, I am pretty sure she is interessted into/seeing someone, and I am not in the mood for competing with another guy. Specially because I am still shaken from a nasty breakup I had a few months ago.

If she bring the meeting up, I will attend, but if not, I am planning to let it slide. Maybe in the future I will bring it up (Hey, remember we were planning..), but in the current situation, I dont see a lot of potential.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah man, I get that you're feeling really demoralized about the whole situation. Going through a nasty breakup just a few months ago has gotta be weighing on you, and it makes sense that you wouldn't want to jump into competing for this girl's attention.

Sounds like you've got a pretty realistic assessment of things - if she brings up the meeting again, then go for it. But if not, no need to force it. It's probably best to just let it slide for now instead of putting yourself out there when you're still recovering.

It's a smart move not to put too much pressure on this. Trying to go after a girl who's already got her eye on someone else is never a good idea, especially when you're still healing from your own heartbreak. That's just a recipe for more pain and disappointment.

Take your time, bro. Focus on yourself, your own growth and healing. When you're in a better headspace, then you can start putting yourself back out there. But for now, don't feel like you have to chase something that doesn't have a lot of potential.

You've got the right idea - if she brings it up, cool. But if not, no need to force it. Your mental and emotional well-being has to come first. Hang in there, man. Better opportunities will come along when the time is right. Just focus on you for now.

[Asker]

Well, on Friday, she asked me out of the blue what I was going do at the evening, but when I asked if she was free to do something, she said that she and a girl friend from work were going to have some drinks. They asked if I wanted to go too, but I declined the invitation.

I don't know if she forgot about our meeting plans in the party (she was very drunk, after all) and this whole situation yesterday was a pure coincidence, or if she remembered and asked what I was going to do out of spite/to tease me because I did not bring our meeting up.

We once agreed to go to bar to drink in the near future, but did not set up a specific date. I don't know what will happen.

[exitseven]

go on Friday and see how it goes..