How did you realise you were dating a narcissist?

Question

It’s difficult to see when they can be so pleasant most of the time.

Zack-Bann · Accepted Answer

She kept using the first person over and over in every conversation

I didn’t mind it at first, trying not to judge.

But eventually she started making decisions that put her ahead of “us” always citing that her ex was toxic and controlling and she’s expecting me to be better and give her space when she needs it

Again, me having never dated anyone seriously before, decided to play along

But in the end I was fighting for her time with all her “friends” some not even that close
I ask her to hang out on a Saturday and she says “oh I already promised so and so to go do this and that”

I was her fucken boyfriend and couldn’t come as a priority to people she hung out with once a year.

And in the end: she dumps me
Saying I did nothing wrong but yet again it’s all about her. She was unhappy with the city we lived in. Unhappy with her job and unable to land a new one (art major struggles)

From start to finish she never once put me first.

And I blamed myself on top of all that. It took me time to get over her

And a long time to accept that SHE was the problem.
A narcissist through and through.

The messed up part is that I still don’t hate her for it even now. But that speaks to my character and not her redeeming qualities (she did have a few to be fair)

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

3-month mark is a good guessing point of when the mask starts to slip... if not sooner. Of course, constant contact is different than only seeing each other on the weekends or something like that.

Temper is there... overreaction to any personal jabs for instance. They refuse blame for anything. Always talk about themselves in a way that gives them power with the stories in their head. They're basically like me, except they don't or won't accept that it's pretty fucked up like I do. They don't humble themselves. They basically masturbate to how great they are and seem in a constant struggle to prove they're something they're not... to the point of trying to control others.

That's where they become destructive to others around them. All the manipulations, fake stories, fake gossip, and bullshit will add up and do damage to other people. Also they're not doing it for shits and giggles like a normal person would... they take themselves seriously. That's why they'll lash out if they feel like you're threatening them... or more like threatening the reputation they have of themselves in their own head.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Things went too smooth too fast. I was blind sided and trusting. I believe what he said and I gave him the best side of myself. Introduced me to everyone and he cooked great! He was so tidy and supportive of my ambitions. I was crushing my goals and he’d be late coming home for a dinner we planned together. We rescheduled and he got mad when I was sad he didn’t show up to that either. He’d be gone for days. And in all that, his mood changed and I became afraid of him. I got depressed and he complained I’m not good for his mental health and he’d bring women over while I was studying.
Lots of head games.
Now no one gets my best side ever again and I’ll never listen to what a man says or trust when he talks about again.

Agape93 · Accepted Answer

When the beatings began and he started separating me from everyone around me.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

My last girlfriend was legitimately a narcissist. The big tell was how she would totally suck the air out of the room when she'd talk about how her feelings and perspectives on different situations.

The idea that there could be another perspective was just totally outside of possibility.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

So far, it's never happened.
Is that like a key word, these days? Up until about 10 years ago, I think I heard it 5 times in my entire life!! Now, every few seconds SOME schmuck HAS to say it. Don't you EVER get tired of using the SAME WORDS, OVER AND OVER AGAIN? I think y'all need a new lexicon!!

FenixG45 · Answer

I didn't; I married her; I divorced her; I did 10 years of therapy to forget her.

polodude2013 · Answer

Constant silent treatment when she wouldn't het her way. Using me just for sex aka her boytoy. If I said no she would say that I'm withholding sex from her.

Anastasia06 · Answer

The hard way. She broke up with me and then tried to come back. To be with another girl.

TheCoffeeisHot · Answer

Bad temper and gaslighting

Wiredone · Answer

I never dated one

How did you realise you were dating a narcissist?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Have you ever dated a narcissist?

How did you realise you were dating a narcissist?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Have you ever dated a narcissist?

We're glad to see you liked this post.