Boyfriend recently asked for a break, will he come back?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been together a little over a month and we met a month and a bit prior to getting into a relationship, we bonded so easily he made me so happy he bought me things I could never afford and took me out on dates.

One day after our date we sat down together and he asked me to be his girlfriend the way he did it he sort of proposed almost, and I said of course from then on we were inseparable we called and texted everyday for hours I would visit him at his work we’d go on dates. Then life began to dive downhill for him he expressed his family issues with me and the man I once so was so happy and carefree began to look nervous and sad.

One day while I was in my night class I received a call from him and he told me he finally moved out his parents house which was an extremely toxic environment for him he sounded so happy and joyous and then asked me if I wanted to move out with him sooner than the said date (which was April because I graduate college then) I told him I wasn’t ready yet and that we should stick to the plan of April (I now regret it deeply) he said okay no rush and welll stick to the plan. Weeks fast forward and he tells me and updates me about his situation everyday wether in person or on the phone my very last time seeing him was about 3 weeks ago we spent the night together and shared our first intimate moments, he was so tired because he works two jobs daily to make ends meet and help his sister out a situation their parents got them into he could barely keep his eyes open but he held me and kissed me and told me he loved me.

Updates

1 y

The day after I kiss him and tell him I’ll see him later he texts me for the next two days then all of a sudden he doesn’t contact me at all this goes on for about 2 days then I text him and tell him “hey i guess you forgot you have a girlfriend, I love you I hope you’re okay” he responds within seconds and says “hey babe my bad I love you osrs we’ll call soon” a week goes by nothing I asked him if he wants to break up and he immediately tells me absolutely not he’s just going through a lot

Updates

1 y

And it’s his first time being on his own Another week goes by nothing again so I texted him once more telling him I love him and I’m here for him. He becomes responsive and tells me he loves me I asked him when we could meet somewhere so we can have a verbal discussion and said yes we need to talk soon and aplogized for js actions

[_Andromeda_]

While I agree with the others, a break this soon is not a good sign, it sounds like he is in no place to maintain a relationship right now. As much as he may care about you, a relationship might just be another stress and responsibility he can't maintain right now. Especially if he's been trying to impress you with buying you things, when he sounds like he can't afford to do that right now. It's not sustainable for his situation.
I would respect his decision and give him space. If he comes back around at some point when he is in a better place, so be it, but do yourself a favor and don't wait around hoping that day will come.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I think you should find clarification to what he wants, a break or space, cause they are very different, one holds commitment and the other one doesn't, there can be space where the two don't spend time together or even communicate at all but they remain committed to each other while they have some time off to set their issues, weither those issues come from each other or completely unrelated, a break usually means they want to break off the commitment for a while to see where it goes, between that time they are on break, anything can happen and cause the commitment was broken, its not considered cheating if he does find another person, I think the best thing you can do is try to keep the commitment intact if you truly care about the person.

[hahahmm]

"Me and my boyfriend have been together a little over a month" -- Its a wrap! That's not enough time to build up the foundations relationships are built on (trust). He can build up the same/more with any random person fast. Your best bet is to move on and live life as if he's never coming back.

[Asker]

Well actually he trusted me enough to tell me things he never told anyone, he doesn’t have a home he's literally couch hopping… the last time I saw him he gave me his card and told me “buy what you want I trust you my love”, we’ve agreed to meet up again so I’m seeing him this week, but the reason why things moved quickly with us because from the first date we discussed what we wanted

[hahahmm]

Doesn't matter. You will find in life that when someone tells you something, you may think it's a valuable secret but to them it's actually not a big deal or they tell you 1 think while keep 100 others secret and since you yourself have no big secrets you assume they told you the deepest secret a person can have. Anyhow, trust takes time to build. It is not simply about sharing. It's about is that person there for you. Do they keep their word. Are they loyal and so on. He already failed by asking for a break.

[Anonymous]

Kinda sounds like the honeymooning phased out and he’s not actually ready for a relationship. Someone who really loves and wants to be with you would never risk losing you like this and certainly would not have you on standby. I’ve never been down with break’s because he shouldn’t be allowed to pick and choose when you’re going to matter.

[Opinion Owner]

Also you were not wrong for not wanting to move in yet because dude you haven’t even known this man 5 months, it’s honestly too soon.

[Asker]

He told me he thinks we should go on a break right now now, I tried to tell him I want to help him up but he won’t accept my money or help. After going back and forth he sends me his final message telling me he loves and will always remember me and that I’m his last everything forever but he needs to get out this hole himself, I asked to see him one last time I responded when and now I’m waiting for him to respond. He’s going through a lot but I want to be there for him he still follows me and checks on me I want to express myself verbally instead of over text

[Opinion Owner]

I think seeing him in person would only make this harder. I get that you want closure and maybe to talk things through so he can change his mind, I get that you want to support him, but you have to be unselfish, it can’t just be about you and what you want. For this to be only a handful of weeks you are invested in a way that maybe you dove in too deep too soon. It sounds like he’s trying to end things amicably, even if it isn’t what you want I do think his boundaries should be respected.

[Asker]

It’s not even closure tbh, he actually agreed to meet up he’s the one that asked me what date this week, he’s literally socially stalking me and he’s still responding to all my messages it honestly looks like he actually still loves me, I’m not selfish wich is why I accept the break and I want to stand with him from a distance until he’s back on his feet. He told me he’s has no time for me and he feels bad which is why he asked for the break he doesn’t know where he’s gonna sleep or eat next and doesn’t want to drag me into if

[Opinion Owner]

He agreed to meet up, he’s responding to all your messages, to me that sounds like you’re the one pushing to stay attached and he is mainly responding. If you weren’t engaging as much as you do, how much would you really hear from him? Probably not much. I’m not trying to offend you by saying your actions are selfish, but it is just a simple fact that you aren’t really trying to let him walk away and that is all about you wanting to be by his side at some capacity. What if he doesn’t want or need your support? What if he just wants the space to figure out his life on his own and you’re just having a hard time accepting it?

[Opinion Owner]

The social media stalking I don’t think is very valuable because as long as he’s responding and engaging with you he will always be attached to your socials in some way. Like if you respond to his story, or message him online, that’s keeping him connected to you and I wouldn’t call it stalking.

[Asker]

Actually he kept in contact with me all the time until a couple weeks ago as it turns out he isn’t even contact anyone period as much. I found out from others, why respond follow me and keep tabs on me if you don’t want me around though? I’m not but he loved me first and made me fall in love with him after my feelings literally JUST began to progress I don’t want to push him I just want to be there when things get better for him. We don’t message online we message and call on our actual phones with our numbers we just follow eacother. I mean he literally still has a post of us and me up and his comments about me being his on my post is still there..

[Opinion Owner]

Asker, you are being incredibly unreceptive and combative in your responses to not only myself but every other comment. You don’t seem very interested in gaining outside perspective and have a rebuttal for every single thing. I have nothing against you, I don’t know you or your man. This is just my opinion on this situation, but if you want to defend it tooth and nail I don't know why you even bothered asking this question.

[Opinion Owner]

Like I don’t see a single response here where you’re asking about our responses or even giving our talking points much consideration outside of rebutting each thing. We are not against you girl, we are trying to help and you should be asking people for some explanations to what we say rather than “well actually” every single thing.

[Jessica405]

Sorry to say but a "break" is usually permanent. He was just trying to let you down gently.

[Asker]

I actually asked him if it was permanent or not because I know people do this and he told me rn he just has to focus on him and his sister, I told him I was gonna accept moving in sooner and he told me that would have probably changed things

[Abbycado]

How are we supposed to know what someone else is going to do?

[Asker]

You won’t know I’m asking for outside opinions possibly if anyone has gone through something similar

[Abbycado]

Okay, never had this situation, but what it seems to me in the details is that the two jobs are wearing him out. I don't think it is anything against you.

[Asker]

They are, I even witnessed it in real time he’s so stressed and he looks like the walking dead that’s not how he looked when we met before his life began to crumble. I even come to his job sometimes and he even looks tired, he planned the sweetest date the last time I saw him and he told me “whenever I’m stressed or in pain I think about you, you’re my peace” but I also noticed his sister gets in his head while he’s that’s your sister he made his decision on taking a break based on what she said while she's literally still in a relationship with her boyfriend, my boyfriend is doing all this to pay the debts his mom made on his sister

[Abbycado]

Yeah, I bet that is the cause for the change in behavior. Certainly seems like it from your details and observations.

[StevenMcGarrett]

Sounds like he loves you. Tell him that you are here for him, even in the dark times. Try to work on moving in with him again. Good luck.

[Asker]

I’m going to see him again this week he agreed to meet up, I will absolutely tell him how I feel I’m definitely going to ask him about moving in again

[StevenMcGarrett]

Sounds like a good plan. Good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you

[LiamJHayden]

To me a break means the other person wants to test drive other models.

[Asker]

While I used to think that too this guy is not in the shape for that, he’s focusing on coming out of debt and shielding him and his sister from their toxic mother, I know everything he’s going through.

[hahahmm]

@asker then why did you even post the question if you have all the answers?

[Asker]

It wasn’t about that I asked if you guys think he would come back based on the circumstances, I don’t have all the answers but when I see him this week i believe things will be clearer

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one that asked you out and hit on you

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't wait to find out.

[In_Trance]

Dump him. Move on

[Pterodon]

A break is a breakup

[Aurav22]

You're played 😂😂

[Anonymous]

Find someone else