He and I had a 4.5-year relationship that was mainly long-distance (3 hours away). We had usual issues throughout our time together. Around year 2 of the relationship, he said he wanted to break up since he felt like the "bad guy." I told him that we should go to couples counseling or he should go to individual therapy to figure that out. We decided to go to couple counseling, which was going fine until it ended early due to circumstances. After that, we were generally doing okay, & he bought an engagement ring for me. He wanted to wait until after I graduated from grad school to propose.
Over time, he stated that he was unsure of what he wanted from life and didn't know when he wanted to marry. I told him I wasn't in a rush and he could take as much time as needed. We decided to go on a trip together, and I made a small mistake by blaming him a little bit for a situation that had happened. He got agitated by it, calling me an as*hole, and held onto it even after the trip. The weird thing was that he told family/friends that everything was going great when he was so grumpy with me. By the end of the trip, he said he wanted to end it since that incident, for some reason, bothered him, even though I explained it myself. He said he would try individual therapy since he knows he needs it, and we agreed to continue the relationship until then. I met with him again a week after that, he was a little distant, but we chatted as if nothing had happened. Everything seemed to be going okay until a couple of weeks passed, and he said he wanted to leave again due to that trip incident still upsetting him. I had no choice but to let him go, and he has started therapy now and is enjoying it. We are doing no contact for a month, but his mom has been updating me about him saying he's taking this as a "learning experience" and that I'm a good person. But, he disclosed that he wanted to move to another state soon, and for some reason, they didn't want to inform me when he's leaving.
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He's not good for you, it's likely he is talking to other girls too and is slowly forgetting about you. All the break up and getting back together, is the process of trying to get away from you
how do you know if he is talking to other girls?
By trying to end the relationship at any slight misunderstanding
yeah, that's part of the reason why I was confused. But, he did mention that he wanted to end the relationship around year 2 when he kept disclosing how he felt like the "bad guy," but he stayed since he wanted to try couple's counseling with me when he should've gotten individual therapy instead then. So, it was like he was already kind of over the relationship before the incident happened, and once it did, it kind of blew up I guess..
Sorry to hear that. I guess you need to make a decision on moving on
I will its possible but unlikely expecting it to happen will put your life on pause and if it dont u will have wasted those years
I'm not trying to put my life on pause for him, but i wanted to see if it was possible if he came back because of how much time we spent together and how serious we got
But thats the thing nobody on gag can tell u that yes its possible but your rolling the dice on that one and on a bad bet that means u are hoping in all that time he cares to come back and never meets someone that he likes even close to as much as yourself
that's true but I'm not sure what else to do because I'm not even sure how to fully process this in general since the stuff he has said is contradicting itself.
doubtful if he's moving
why do you say that? We were talking about moving there together, and stuff like that. I mean the breakup initially was a shock/unexpected since I thought it was going alright. But, in hindsight, he did want to leave a year or so ago, and maybe the outcome would've been different.