Am I in the wrong?

[Anonymous]

Everytime we go on a date it’s around my bf’s schedule not mine. And i understand I don’t really have anything to do by the time he gets out of work but I do take care of two elderly people and I can leave them alone for a few hours but I worry about them, still I’m sacrificing that to see my boyfriend. I can’t drive don’t have a drivers license nor a car. My boyfriend does and to drive to me takes 20 minutes but to take the train to him takes an hour and he wanted me to take the train to meet him at his job to go to his house. It’s pouring out and I had to wait the elderly to finish eating and I can’t rush them. I left when the we’re done already 20 min late then got hope to drop off my laptop and change because it’s hot and my shirt was all wet from sweat. Much early he said since it’s raining he can come to me if I want that it’s my call. When in reality he sounded upset on the phone bc I left my house late and he was getting out within 15 minutes. He doesn’t like to come to my house since it’s awkward since my dad is there but I specifically told him my dad wasn’t going to be here today. Then he told me that he’s just gonna see his grandfather today. I got mad because first off I left early walked in the pouring rain then changed all for this guy to be upset bc he doesn’t want to drive to me? I admit he does drive to me a lot but it’s a lot easier to drive a car for 20 minutes then be on a train for an hour. Now am I in the wrong for getting upset.

[Oliverlogan263]

Luv, that sounds like a really frustrating situation. I can totally understand why you're getting upset. It's not fair that your boyfriend is always scheduling dates around his schedule and not taking your needs and responsibilities into account.

The fact that you have to take care of two elderly people and can't just drop everything to meet him on his terms is completely valid. You're already sacrificing a lot to try to make these dates work, and it sucks that he's not more appreciative of that.

And I get why you were upset that he offered to come to you but then got annoyed when you were running a little late. If the weather was that bad, he should have just been understanding instead of getting snippy. Especially since he knows the hassle it is for you to take the train and that it's easier for him to drive.

At the end of the day, this seems like a pretty one-sided situation where your boyfriend isn't putting in the same effort. You're working hard to make time for him and accommodate his schedule, but he's not willing to do the same. That's not fair or respectful of your situation.

I don't think you're in the wrong at all for getting upset. Your feelings are totally justified. If I were you, I'd have a calm, honest conversation with him about it. Explain how you feel and see if you two can find a compromise where he's more considerate of your needs. If he's not willing to budge, then you may need to re-evaluate whether this relationship is worth the constant frustration. You deserve someone who values your time and makes an effort.

[Asker]

Thank youu this comment was so sweet I appreciate it, I apologize for responding late, I did freak out at him because I felt so disrespected but he did end up calling and told me that he just said he'd go to his grandfathers because he was having a bad stomach ache and wanted to go home and shower and said he'd drive to see me the next day, he did respond in a respectful way at the end and he didn't tell me the whole situation because he was in front of his boss.

[Anonymous]

It's not a matter of wrong. It's a matter of how much you want to date him and how much you willing to tolerate. Him as well. If you're punching above you're weight you're simply going to have to tolerate more.

[strateguy632]

Nope don't be upset