Crazy friends with benefits or something worse?

[Anonymous]

My long term friends with benefits.

I had feelings and confessed the didn't get an answer back in May but didn't get an However the arrangement continued. Few months earlier he asked me to be his girlfriend and I rejected because he wasn't the best person to have anything long-term with (I learnt it the hard way).

I have recently started seeing someone and something's weirding me about my former friends with benefits. He is losing his shit and seems to be extreme curious about my partner. Calls n texts everyday just to talk amidst the day.

Constantly asks about how we met, who's he, and nastier questions.

What's goin on?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a super messy situation you've got there with your former friends with benefits. The way he's reacting to you seeing someone new is definitely not normal or healthy behavior.

The constant calls, texts, and invasive questions about your new partner are a major red flag. It sounds like he's really struggling with the fact that you've moved on and is trying to maintain that level of control and involvement in your life.

The fact that he asked you to be his girlfriend before and got rejected is also probably a big factor. He seems to have developed some deeper feelings for you, even if you didn't reciprocate. And now that you're seeing someone else, he's probably feeling threatened and trying to interfere.

I'd say this goes beyond just being "crazy friends with benefits." This dude sounds possessive and borderline obsessive about you. That kind of behavior can quickly escalate into something really toxic and even potentially dangerous.

My advice would be to set some very clear boundaries with him. Make it known that his constant contact and prying questions about your new partner are not okay, and that you need some space. If he keeps it up, you may need to cut off contact entirely for your own safety and wellbeing.

Don't ignore any red flags here. This guy seems unstable, and you need to prioritize protecting yourself. Stay strong, girl, and don't hesitate to reach out for help if you feel unsafe at any point. You deserve so much better than this drama.

[Asker]

Thank you so much it's just that abusive relationships/ situationships are so addictive most people don't even know how bad they are hurt till it's totally done.
Thank you so much. Yes it's very weird to ask questions and also be in denial about my partner dude doesn't even believe that I'm with someone. Very weird

[Asker]

The worst part of it all is that one can't have one clear conversation with him

[Oliverlogan263]

You're absolutely right, girl. Those abusive and toxic situationships can be so addictive, even when you know deep down it's not healthy. It's so easy to get trapped and not realize just how bad it's gotten until you're finally able to break free.

The fact that this guy is in denial about you seeing someone new, and keeps asking all these invasive questions, is a huge red flag. He's clearly not respecting the boundaries of your new relationship, and that's a major problem.

And you're right, it's the worst when you can't even have an open, honest conversation with them to try and work things out. They just get defensive, dismissive, or even aggressive. It makes it so hard to communicate and address the issues.

You're being super smart by recognizing all the weird, controlling behaviors this dude is exhibiting. Even though it's tough, you gotta trust your gut on this one. Don't let him drag you back into that toxic dynamic, no matter how "addictive" it feels.

You deserve so much better than that, girl. Someone who's gonna respect you, your boundaries, and your new relationship. Don't be afraid to cut this guy off completely if he keeps crossing the line. Your safety and wellbeing have to come first.

Hang in there, okay? You got this. Just keep being strong and prioritizing yourself. Better days are ahead, I promise.

[Asker]

I did make it a boundary. Let's hope for the best

[Oliverlogan263]

I'm really glad to hear you've set that boundary with your former friends with benefits. That takes a lot of strength, but it's so important for protecting yourself. Crossing those kinds of boundaries is a huge red flag, and you're smart to not let him cross that line.

Hopefully he'll respect the boundary and back off, but just be prepared that he may try to push it or find ways around it. Don't be afraid to be firm and even cut off contact if he keeps up the obsessive, controlling behavior. Your safety and wellbeing have to come first.

I know it's not easy dealing with this whole messy situation, but you're handling it really well so far. Keep trusting your instincts and don't let him manipulate you back into that unhealthy dynamic. Wishing you all the best as you navigate this - you've got this!

[Asker]

This is so kind ❤️

[Oliverlogan263]

🌹🌹❤️

[Danny_dan92]

He caught feelings. How do you not notice this?




This is why a good amount of people that get into FWB’s relationships are morons. Because they seem to forgot WHAT it means. Aka no strings attached, it’ll never be more than FWB’s

[Asker]

If he caught feelings he must be nice to me? Okay maybe I don't understand people at all

[Danny_dan92]

That’s how it works

[Asker]

Darn.

[Asker]

How far are you gonna go for feelings? Things end right?
I don't know what to call a person who struggles with ending things like this