How much of the single mother epidemic should be blamed on women picking terrible men?

Question

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Half of it should be blamed on unrealistic women.

Why aren't these women using birth control? Few become mothers if they're using reliable birth control with every sexual encounter.

And if they're choosing men who refuse to use condoms, they upping their chances of becoming parents with men who are irresponsible.

However, when girls are very young, they have foolish, romantic notions about sex, males and getting pregnant: If I get pregnant, he'll love me because I have his baby... is one. Nope, he'll run away as fast as he can and if he runs far enough, you'll never get child support..

We'll have pretty children, is another one. This is a rampant fantasy. Who cares what the kids look like if neither of you have jobs, skills or any way of supporting yourselves or growing kids!

My baby will love me. Nah. Your baby will NEED you to survive. Love happens much, much later, and it wanes and waxes.

The BIG takeaway: If sex education was taught in middle school everywhere, as it was to me when I was 10, and life education was also taught, as in what it takes to manage a household, finances and raise children, people would put off having sex until they were using birth control.

They would also consider what they wanted to do with their own lives BEFORE they had children: like get educations, degrees, certificates and good jobs so they'd have stable lives to offer their children..

MemeSupreme · Accepted Answer

sometimes you get fucked over and it sucks. it's not their fault bc shit happens. you can't control everything, BUT once anyone becomes a parent...

your sole priority should be your children and not bringing negative influences into their life. it doesn't mean you can't have a life of your own, but they're #1 priority. if you're recklessly having kids with different men after your first, then it's most likely your fault. too many neglected kids are growing up raising their siblings and not having a childhood of their own. it's bullshit

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

A lot.

The bottom line. Stats show that the birth control pill didn't reduce the amount of unplanned pregnancies, they went up since the pill. The human body is designed to have a baby when sex occurs. That is all natural. Introducing a drug to mess with a woman's natural cycles and mother nature and giving her "freedom" to choose... has turned modern women (many not all) into promiscuous floozies. Women, who used to be discreet and saved this for marriage because one slip up could result in a baby, took sex seriously and unplanned pregnancies were less common. Now women think they can screw whenever they get the urge.

It isn't 100% effective. It is MOST of the time but you still get pregnant sometimes. Hence, single moms and abortions out the wazoo. There is another medical intervention to remedy a NATURAL, BIOLOGICAL process.

Yeah, the pill effed up modern society. Promiscuous women filling up the society with fatherless, criminal, messed up kids, herpes is rampant, women have all fried their natural bonding mechanism and they all just divorce left and right when they get bored or the feels wear off. Hardly any have babies anymore. Maybe 1 or 2, many with none. Abortions all over the place.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

The same as men crying they pay child support, the same as women crying they need abortion because they refuse to make good life choices, and the list goes on.

I will say it depends on a single mother’s situation but it wouldn’t be a epidemic. Sure there are women who get into relationships thinking a man is great who she sees his true colors later, there is women who were raped but had and love their child, there are women who make poor choices but learn repent and take responsibility and turn from those ways, there is women who were married but divorced or got widowed for reasons outside of her control.

But I will say that those moms get a bad reputation because there is just so many women who pick absolutely terrible men. Then good decent men see the life choices they are making and they run the other direction as she cries there are no good men left anymore.

It is the same for men who pick bad women then cry how horrible women are. Being a sexist isn’t helping their situation by any means.

ohsheeT · Answer

That's good because women jump into things and they don't acknowledge when they see the guy being bad they don't think it's going to happen to them during your relationship if you see your boyfriend treating anybody bad let me tell you what he's going to treat you that same exact way except for 10 times worse women know that they don't got a good guy but they think that the guy would never ever be like that to them just watch a guy watch how he treats his friends

Watch and see how he talks about other people if he does both of those you don't want the guy those two things right there will tell you exactly who a guy is and however he does it with the two scenarios above he's going to do it 10 times worse with you do not go out with a guy if you've seen him talk about his friends and put them down and watch how he treats everybody

There are many warning signs before you even get together if the person is good and if you don't know those morning signs to learn them quickly

Anonymous · Answer

Well at least these women are keeping their children. I can respect them for that.

If you take a look at the African American community there was government intervention that disenfranchised fathers back in the 60s. Single mothers could qualify for mother government assistance if there wasn’t a father around.

However this very negatively impacted the African American community. Won’t get into the details here but there are long standing negative effects when a child grows up with a father around (especially boys).

But there are also women who make horrible dating choices. They usually have problems themselves (daddy issues). But I notice that society is soft and sympathetic towards women who make self destructive decisions. Yet men are told “tough luck chump” when they get screwed over by women.

Honestly I wish society would get tougher on women who make bad decisions. That doesn’t mean demonize them. But quit telling women that they are “poor victims” when they made bad dating decisions.

There are almost always warning signs that too many disregard about the guy being a problem. Women need to be held more accountable for their own bad decisions.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

If she has 5 kids with 5 baby daddies its clearly the woman's fault.. she is a hoe and just lets any guy inseminate her.. But if it is a woman in her late 30s or 40s and has like 3 kids with an ex husband, it would seem its both their faults not just one person. Some people grow apart after time, maybe you thought this is the guy who will be amazing and I'll spend my life with him but it turns out he don't help with the kids and he is totally selfish.. Most guys are trash, look how majority will not even put their children before a spouse on other polls on this site.. most men are trash so to pick better is kind of hard when most are crap.

razelove · Answer

I don't know how much of that blame should go out. Typically this debate is in developed countries though, where access to birth control and condoms is easily available.

I've been with someone deceptive before, and can only blame myself for the period of time I was with her after I saw what was behind the mask. I can blame myself for every time I risked having a kid with her by not wrapping that meat before hitting the market though.

If you don't want to be a single mom, don't have unprotected sex. A lot of women will give it up on the first date, and realistically there is no ability to know a person past their looks, first impression, and being horny at that point.

You can still get knocked up though.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Single mother epidemic , interesting choice of words. Well it certainly ain’t picking terrible men. Heads-up , I know it’s basic biology 101 but in the natural sense it takes a biological man and a biological woman to make a child assuming it’s biological possible. Sorry for the triple use of biological there , it’s a sign of the times we live in apparently.

In a heterosexual relationship or sexual union both the man and the woman have a responsibility to consider an unwanted pregnancy. Should they decide to through caution to the wind and play sperm or ova Russian roulette then that’s on them. If they further decide to not follow up with the plethora of after the fact contraception methods , that’s also a choice or lack their of.

The biggest cause of the rise in single mothers is of course unintended pregnancy. So people need to educate themselves and make better choices.

Joshua_H_1010011001 · Answer

It's almost always the womens fault.

Surprise news flash, men love their kids.

Like more than Air.

If a man is not present in the kids life, the mother should be at question.

But rarely are.

Women have been brainwashed into these dilutional victims, where everything is against them, and nothing is ever their fault. Yet have all the support.

Girls, get some accountability and respect.

Men can and will hold you to account, even if it's passively.

a lot of single mums out there because they're not worth getting involved with, you stand a lot to lose as a man, so we ain't bothering anymore, I'd never get involved with a single mum again.

Just easier to work hard, get in shape and get a 20-26 yo, start from fresh 💪

MisterWack · Answer

Why are we blaming women for this exactly?

I blame it on the Pandemic. Think about it from a logical standpoint, the man who used to go to work then head to the bar to self medicate through not talking about his personal feelings, problems, etc. to keep up his ego was suddenly forced to stay home with his wife and kids…. It drove him mad, maybe led to physical assault or constant verbal abuse which led to her getting a divorce from his ass.
I think this is a big percentage of why divorce happened leaving mothers single, divorce ends when there is a lack of communication which adds fuel to the flame since these men who drank & self medicated never got the help they needed which led to the split up.

HighValue · Answer

If they are a single mother with kids from different guys, it is their fault. If they had casual sex it is their fault for being a single mother. If they didn't use birth control it is their fault. If she cheated and her partner left her because of it, that would be her fault too. If they were in a relationship and discussed having a family with the man they were with before having unprotected sex, got pregnant, then the relationship ended due to him cheating or dying, it wouldn't be her fault.

So, it depends on circumstances like I listed, but regardless if it is or isn't her fault, if she is a single mother, she can't realistically expect a good quality man without kids to be seriously interested in her for a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Young women like young men lack the life experience to have good judgement which is why their parents in most cultures use to arrange their marriages for them.

So its only natural they will use animistic judgement and end up picking guys a more experienced person thinking with their head would know is worthless.

Perhaps because he's already ditches how many other women, has no good job, usesful skills, or otherwise ability to support you and any such children?

It doesn't take a genuis to spot theses problems you just need to have seen more than a few people to know which sadly young people haven't been around long enough to do.

The paradox is you can only start families meaningfully when you are young so the solution was to have older people who care about you do the vetting for you. IE: "Arranged marriage".

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Since women are the gate keepers of that part... all of it.

They're the ones disregarding men that will be with them through thick and thin... and then choosing guys like me. Good luck finding out my real name... no child support for you.

DJ yells out... Another one.

How much of the single mother epidemic should be blamed on women picking terrible men?

Garud · Answer

Usually, men are blamed and they should be blamed but we can't forget the involvement of the woman who is also wrong, she chose to do this and both of them made a potential life miserable for their selfish reasons.
I just wonder what was the fault of that child.
I can never forgive such women and men.
So these sperm donors or single mothers by choice will always be despicable characters in my eyes who are spoiling this world

NewWaves · Answer

Mmmm. Partly. I think another piece of the puzzle is the decline of a culture that teaches the importance of family and marriage and to raise people who will in turn, raise good families as married couples.
Decline of the shame of being a deadbeat parent.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Not as much as most think. Other major factors.

1. Government incentivizes it for lower income people. Free housing, food, lower utilities, free medical make it tempting to not marry the guy who only amkes $20/hour.
2. A lot of guys make promises that they do not intend to keep.
3. Some marriages just fail.
4. Widowhood.

Unit1 · Answer

They're the ones spreading their legs for them. I sure as hell Don't.

Blaming shitty men is taking off their personal accountability. Yes, shitty men exist and they're assholes. why reward them with sex for it?

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

okay so wtf is wrong with u people? unless the woman is a whore and sleeps around a lot or knows the guy is a cheater, liar or ”bad” (before getting pregnant) she has a little accountability, but in the end its always the mens fault for leaving, can we stop blaming men’s laziness on women? men have it so easy istg.

Anonymous · Answer

given how many women are thirsting over the latest handsome bad boy Luigi Mangione it shouldn't be a surprise why there are so many single moms

Jeremy Meeks, another handsome bad boy created a single mom with a billionaire's daughter after being released from a petition made by thirsty women and nobody is calling him a scumbag for cheating

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

50% of the blame. Life is hardly black and white.

Women don't get pregnant by themselves.

It's several factors why women end up as single mothers.

Poverty is often a major factor that contributes to women becoming single moms.

Abuse of drugs or alcohol is another one.

Physical abuse taking place.

Being abandon for another woman.

Picking terrible men to mate with.

Apple1996 · Answer

I wouldn't blame any mom for being single. Most men are terrible so no one can really sit here and say "pick better men" cuz there literally is barely any good men out there

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's equal parts women picking terrible men and men being terrible... I mean, not all of us pick terrible men (i don't at least), but then not all men are terrible... but there ARE a lot of people who, as soon as that button inside their hoohaw gets pushed they think the pusher hung the moon... my mom's creative Christian way of saying that got some big D that bottomed out lol

phraseology · Answer

You always have to project don't you... Nothing could be wrong with you, all men would want you... except all the ones that left.

Med_guy1978 · Answer

To me it seems like a mixture of bad choice and quite often the reluctance to make a marriage work. Society does its part in encouraging the breakup of the family unit.

dovendyret · Answer

Should be blamed on the men leaving their kids dear anon troll. 🥰

Anonymous · Answer

100% on women and girls, they chose those guys and most likely those girls had one good dude who genuinely loved her and wanted to be with her and he had all the right traits but she would be like ahhh you’re not my type.

Sabrina_Caleri · Answer

I think 50% of the times you can clearly see that a man Is a Red flag, buy many of them are sooo good at pretending to be a good men that i wouldn't put the blame on the woman

Fireguy17 · Answer

I would go 50/50 It can be both parties' fault for any number of reasons.

Anonymous · Answer

Picking terrible men or assuming men will change? Men are pretty clear who they are and most often stay that way.

Anonymous · Answer

If there's an epidemic it's been around since the 1970s. The first batch of single-mother babies are in their mid-50s now.

DtMe89 · Answer

Guy gets girl pregnant, then leaves. That's not the girls fault That's just a douchebag guy

Yannae · Answer

Both are at fault. You have bad decision making on either side of the field.

nawtee_me · Answer

And how much is irresponsibility on both their parts? Birth control falls to both participants…

Anonymous · Answer

At least 75% of it. Sure there are bad men, but there are women that leave perfectly good men who are active fathers all because they are bored.

Anonymous · Answer

Half for sure. And it's not just sleeping with terrible men. It's being promiscuous, and that goes for men too.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Fifty-fifty, as many men bop women with the sole idea of impregnating them.

zombiewoof · Answer

Are you a single mom, i will not judge, you can pm if you want

LazerBean · Answer

It's 50% men and 50% women, of course.

MoonFace2 · Answer

Or not using contraceptives.

Anonymous · Answer

Or dad's raising shit men

Anonymous · Answer

Kinda seems like most of it, no?

talentedclock · Answer

About 50%

Loki97 · Answer

About 99% of it.

Jakefromstatefarm6 · Answer

All of it

Staximus · Answer

Most of it

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆

How much of the single mother epidemic should be blamed on women picking terrible men?

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Are single mothers single mothers because they pick terrible men or are the dating pool of men in society terrible?

How much of the single mother epidemic should be blamed on women picking terrible men?

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Are single mothers single mothers because they pick terrible men or are the dating pool of men in society terrible?

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