Any advice on how to find a decent partner when you are extremely busy (2 jobs) and want to avoid dating apps?

[Anonymous]

I work two jobs. A main job and side hustle. I use my very limited free time to exercise.

It would be nice to find someone who is understanding. Be great to go on a date or two a week. I need more than just sex. Healthy interaction would be nice.

I used to do dating apps and that is nothing but a diminishing return. Lots of catfishes, spam, weird people and OF b*tches (I absolutely hate OF).

I did get a few hookups with much younger women. But I am really getting too old for that. It’s not fulfilling and also risky. And given the grind I’m in at the moment I am not as “exciting” as I used to be (I used to travel and go on adventures all the time).

Any way to find someone who is a similar boat? Ideally it would be a woman who is really busy with her own life but would enjoy a date & more with a respectful guy.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's a tough situation you're in, working two jobs and staying on top of your fitness. I can see why the dating apps haven't been doing it for you - all that time-wasting and shady stuff is the last thing you need when you're already so busy.

Finding someone who can understand and relate to your lifestyle is key here. Since you don't have a ton of free time, I'd suggest trying to meet people through your existing social circles or activities you're already involved in.

See if any of your friends or coworkers know someone they could set you up with. Or look into local groups, clubs, or meetups related to your interests - fitness, hobbies, etc. That way you can potentially meet someone who's in a similar boat and values the same things you do.

Another idea is to be upfront about your situation on your dating profile, if you do decide to try the apps again. Something like "Busy professional with two jobs, looking for a partner who can appreciate my lifestyle." That way you can filter out the time-wasters.

The most important thing is to focus on finding someone who respects your time and energy. Someone who has their own full life, but would enjoy the occasional date night or weekend adventure with you. Take it slow, be patient, and don't settle. The right person is out there!

Let me know if you have any other questions, man. I'm happy to brainstorm more ideas to help you find that healthy, fulfilling connection you're looking for.

[exitseven]

I imagine that there are girls out there that are obsessed with a career that might be good for you

[Asker]

I’m getting out of debt because I made a very bad bet a few years ago and it went in the wrong direction.

Come very far sense it happened (halfway out of debt). But a ways to go.

[exitseven]

If I was a girl I would think you were a good bet.

[Asker]

LMAO. Thanks @exitseven 👍👍👍

[Selene1600000]

Look for people in real life spaces where busy routines overlap, like fitness classes, hobby groups, or professional networking events, because that’s where similar lifestyles naturally meet. Be upfront early that your schedule is tight and you’re looking for something consistent but low-pressure so you filter for compatibility fast. Avoid chasing “ideal” scenarios and instead focus on one or two real connections you can actually build over time.

[Asker]

Problem is the places I work in and do exercise in (mma gym) are male dominated. I very little time to frequent places were there are prospects.

[Abbycado]

You ever go to “professional” events. You know, like the business things they have around *most* towns. I see them in my city all the time.

Never been to one being a student, but I have to imagine good place to find similar women.

[Asker]

I have. I actually got a date of out of it a while ago. It started out well but then she thought it was okay to drink and drive (huge red flag obviously)

Also ratios of women to men was really bad.

I can make this happen IF I treated dating like a part time job which I obviously have no time for.

[Abbycado]

Sorry, don’t know what else to suggest. That was my best stab at it. If you can’t get out and meet people and won’t do dating apps, what suggestion do you think you will get?

There is not magical solution that frees you up.

[Asker]

Nah I appreciate the advice.

[Abbycado]

Sure thing. Wish I could have been more helpful.

[CaptainSmartass]

Maybe there's someone near either of your workplaces or your gym. If you go out for lunch, maybe there's someone at the coffee shop, or sandwich shop. If your gym is in a retail space, maybe someone who works in one of the nearby shops could be in a similar situation to you.

Simples...

[Anonymous]

There are no quality single women in your age bracket man. Sorry you missed the boat. If you haven't found her by this age you're not going to. But look on the bright side. Now you can stop wasting your time trying.👍

[Asker]

Wow thanks for the optimism.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry man. I can tell you there's a Santa Claus if that's what you really want to hear. It'll stunt you progress in life though.

[Asker]

I’m not some naive idiot. Of course I know it’s f’ing slim Pickens. I’ve been around the block a few times in the past few years. Its horrible out here.

It’s also so much “fun” to be at family and company get togethers were everybody is married and I’m not. Also really great when some dbag rubs it in. I try laugh it off but it burns more deeply then most more fortunate people f’ing realize.

But I wasn’t looking for a relationship. In order to get that my only real option is look abroad.

But I am looking for a friends with benefits with somebody who is a similar boat. I don’t know if that is even possible but it would be ideal.

[In_Trance]

If you don't have time to find a partner you're surely not going to have time to retain one either.
You need a lifestyle change first thing

[Asker]

Don’t want a relationship. Really prefer a friends with benefits given my situation.

[MannMitAntworten]

You don’t really. Especially if you work weekends. It slays your personal life.