What to do , when you like someone that you can't have?

[Anonymous]

i had meet this girl in my hometown , had first seen her at the gym , then we eventually talked when she worked as a server at some restaurants downtown here. i though we got along really well the couple times we actually talked at her work. but she's always had this boyfriend who also lives here so i have never been able to do anything about my interest in her.

anyways she disappeared for a while as she was taking a course or school in another city , but she reappeared at the gym a couple weeks ago and all i could think about was how badly i wanted her. we haven't even talked but seen her there a couple times

[Sheriblossom]

If she's happy in her relationship, and you actually like her, then I would just let it be. I had a friend who told me about a similar situation over the summer. He liked this girl, they hung out all the time during the summer while her boyfriend was away at camp. They didn't do anything and he was absolutely head over heels for her. But he never mentioned that he was into her because he knew she was happy in her relationship. I found that to be very admirable.

Just because you like someone doesn't mean you need to be with them. While I do think it's a tough situation, I don't think it's a rare thing to be feeling. I think this could fit under the category of unrequited love (which again, is something everyone experiences). I was talking to a guy over the summer, and I thought it'd turn into a relationship. It didn't and I'm still not over him. This is really hard, but the reality is I can't force the situation no matter how strongly I feel about it. It takes time, but you'll eventually come to terms with it and build relationships with people who are available.

[Asker]

i suppose its not likely to go anywhere , considering everything the fact we even meet and see each other at the gym is perhaps more than this should of even become really.

i actually felt bad for the boyfriend. we've never even like talked but he always seemed really upset that i liked her so much , i never like had anything against him i just liked this girl and he happened to be the guy dating her.

i suppose i'd be interested in dating her if the option ever came up but it could be like 5 years down the road i see her in a bar somewhere and she's single and by then the interest might not even be the same as it is now

[Sheriblossom]

That's a fair point, and I get it. With the guy I mentioned, I feel like I'm just kinda waiting as well. Sometimes it kinda feels like a lost cause but I hang onto the possibility that things will work out because I really like him. When you really like someone it's hard to think you'll ever see someone else the same way. I can't really tell you not to, because it's something I struggle with myself. But the way I see it is it's out of your hands. Try to focus on other things in your life that make you happy and things will unfold the way they are supposed to. I know that's super general advice, but it's all you can really do. Otherwise it's really easy to spiral and starting focusing on them and the endless possibilities rather than the things that are right in front of you.

[Anonymous]

Why do you want her so bad? You can't even talk to her tho

[Asker]

we haven't talked at gym but did TALK when she was a server at this restaurant , i though we got along really well the times we walked there

i haven't talked to her at the gym since she returned but she is like working out and doing stuff , i don't want to try and interupt her when she is like doing stuff at the gym

[Opinion Owner]

Try walking by her and smiling. You guys are already acquainted

[Asker]

i went to the restaurant that she sometimes works at Friday but she wasn't there , had hoped to talk to her there again

she also brings her cell phone into the gym and often uses it between working out , seems really distracted , never even seems to talk to anyone else but most people here her age would know who she is