Does anyone else find this problem?

[MoonFace2]

With the exception of two of my girl friends, who are married with families, I’ve found that for myself and for most of my friends, we’ve found ourselves single, without families. I always wanted to fall in love and get married, but I kept meeting men who just want no strings attached sex. I find myself faced with two choices- either to remain completely celibate and alone forever, or to accept the occasional hook up.

I’m going to delete any messages that talk about non virgins and older women being unable to find someone, as I had this exact same problem when I was a young virgin, too.

Updates

1 y

Also, I’ve been offered several modelling opportunities so I’m not ugly. I’m the type who’d give people the clothes off my back and I’ve been IQ tested by a psychologist and found to be smarter than average. I’m also humble, after years of battling illnesses and having been a support worker.

[Summeroflove]

Having sex is easy…. For most people at least. But you’re choosing to sleep with these men unless they’re raping you you’re as bad as they are. Men who don’t sleep around like that don’t want a woman who is…. There are people who don’t have a lot of sex only because nobody really wants to have sex with them.

But you’re getting yourself into this situation. Don’t start blaming men. Blaming other women…. Or anyone else. Sex is easy. But building a genuine relationship. That takes time. Sacrifice. Energy. And everything else form both people.

You clearly aren’t capable of offering that right now. So you need to take time to get your life in order. Stop sleeping around and maybe someone halfway decent will want you.

[MoonFace2]

You’re making a lot of assumptions. I don’t sleep around a lot (in my thirties). I’d gone nearly 6 years without sex until about 4 months ago. I’m not blaming men for sleeping with me, or myself for sleeping with them. My point is that society values are changing, regardless of whether or not people as individuals choose to be promiscuous. Most men just seem to want sex and seem willing to pretend to want relationships to get sex. Hook up culture has become the norm and would’ve regardless of my experience level. It’s beyond my control and I’d say it’s down to social media.

[MoonFace2]

I disagree that I’m as bad as the ones who lied about wanting something serious like I wanted, or lied about not being married.

[Summeroflove]

I’m not saying you’re as bad as they are…. People who do that are even more shitty. But take accountability for your OWN actions as well. You decided to get into bed with these people.

You can’t control that other people are shitty. But you can control what you do

[Summeroflove]

I’m glad you have some level of self control. But you’re old enough now to know that having sex early into a relationship is a red flag.

Unfortunately there is a lot of men as well as women. Who pretend to want something more to get sex, to get money, to get any number of things. When they don’t really feel any romantic attraction at all. It happens those are narcissists at best.

It’s not everyone but it does seem to be a lot bigger of a problem.

[bowenw]

It seems to be a common problem, but there are guys out there that want the same as you.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[ohsheeT]

I absolutely hear you..
Sometimes we just need to fill that slow motion sensual touch that kiss that skin to skin that intensity of everything that you do slow motion deep rough communication with your hands your eyes your lips every part of your body.

And I agree with you the only bad part is with me is that if I do something with somebody I know that in the long run it's not going to work out so I don't want to do anything and lead them on

Okay so I like to role play
And this is going to be very hard to believe that I promise you it is the truth 100% the truth and I can prove it

When you're with somebody and you have that physical touch and the smell and just that Bond of each other's body it's a very beautiful thing

But if you know anything about energy.
And the person that your role playing with energy
I can tell you this that your orgasms are deeper more intense two or three right in a row and it's better than real sex physical sex

There's going to be a lot of people that disagree with me and I'm laughing right now because it does sound bullish but I promise you it's not it is one of the most beautiful things you will feel and I guarantee it if you're 100% honest you could possibly say that was better than any real sex I've ever had

I know it sounds stupid but it's really really not. I'm on the west coast you could be on the East Coast and I guarantee you you would feel it as if I was right there but both people have to be compatible they have to both the In to it . And I'm just telling you this because it is another option physical touch is great but energy touch is unbelievable of course everyone needs physical touch once in awhile that this is something you already look into

[Anonymous]

It's primarily a result of two things, the first being the so called sexual revolution, which resulted in women having casual sex freely and essentially making it the norm. Casual sex is now the expectation, which is fine for women who are into it, but very harmful to those like you who are not. Men expect casual sex now, and women who don't want that know a man will move on if he doesn't get it, which puts pressure on those women to have casual sex rather than focus on finding a like minded man. There are plenty of men who are not like that, but they are not usually found though what has become the primary dating channels today. Dating apps are just hookup apps. You have to get out in the real world to find real people.

The other major factor is that women in their 20s are strongly encouraged to prioritize their education and career above finding a mate. As a result, many/most women miss the opportunity they have during heir 20s to secure a life partner when they are at their peak desirability. And in the meantime, the good guys who are actually interested in finding a quality woman and marrying her, as opposed to sleeping around, marry the quality women who had different priorities than most women their age, so the best men are off the market and no longer available by the time the other women decide they finally want to take finding a husband seriously.

I was only 19 at the time, but I still remember the backlash to a mother who encouraged young women to find a husband while they were in college, because at that time they are in the best position they will ever be in to do so. I remember it partly because of my mother's reaction to it. She said that mother was right, and all the women who hated her for saying what she said were doing themselves and other women a disservice.

https://www.today.com/news/princeton-moms-letter-telling-women-find-husband-campus-strikes-nerve-1c9179555

[slickrick6600]

Please don’t give up many guys consider you a dream girl, the right guy is out there still don’t lose faith and don’t give in to hook ups you have made it so far. You are beautiful the way you are and will make your future man thank his lucky stars he met you. Your problem is not un common, lots of loser guys won’t commit to a girl because they suck and they will realize they made a mistake when they are old and when they die and are remembered as an old greasy man slut. When your dream man finds you he won’t let you out of his sight!

[Subtle_Luminescence]

It highly depends on where you live and how the society is like. Western culture is doomed with prevalent sexual promiscuousity that people who don't indulge in it are made to feel less. I never liked sexual encounters with people randomly nor do I intend to seek them in future. Primarily because of religious reasons, personal preference comes second. You're right in your place, we're not meant to be very casual with sexual intercourse. Marriage is the way to go. Sadly, people don't value marriages thess days.

I would suggest you stick to your way of life. Indulging in hook up culture even when you don't want to may prove out to be regretful for you in the long run and it's not like your life depends on it. Where I live, an amount of people are callous in terms of sexuality too.. Doesn't chance what I want or what I find is right.

[jahaims]

You lack enough introspection to fix your own problems. If you haven't figured out which guys want sex and which guys want love by now you probably won't ever figure it out. If guys that want relationships don't pursue you then it is because of your personality.

[MoonFace2]

I have a good personality, so maybe it’s them. It’s too simplistic to always blame women. There are losers who are men too and there is such a thing as bad luck.

[RageBabe]

It all comes down to time. Who is to say that your married friends are leading happy married lives? I would hope they were, but marriage does not always translate into happiness because married people have their ups and downs too. All of this to say Never give up on love; it does exist, but, again, timing.