Is it a red flag if he stares at other women?

[Anonymous]

Been friends for 5 years and just started dating a month ago. We’re both 24.
A week before we started dating, we had a slight fall out as he flirted with a barista girl and got two free coffees and then denied that he flirted with her yet I was standing right there and saw it all.
Just last night he was close to hitting a car in front of him because he had to check out a girl standing by her car… had to last minute brake hard.
We’ll be out at the mall and he’ll be checking girls out or even when we go get dinner ect…
He’ll like stand and watch them sometimes and it’s embarrassing when the girl looks back at us.
I don’t feel pretty enough or at all for that matter… self confidence is completely gone… and I feel like I’m on the verge of a breakdown because of it. I’m nothing like the girls he looks at or watches.
In the 5 years of friendship he did see several girls, maybe about 3-4 girls a year, maybe more that I don’t know of.
I’m moving overseas for a year and we had a fall out as he said once I move, I’ll end up telling him about another guy I’m seeing so I said no that will be him and I told him about some guys from my past, hitting me up and how i brutally turned them down and then he slept in the lounge🙃

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that sounds like a really tough and uncomfortable situation. Your boyfriend's constant ogling of other women is definitely a red flag, and I can totally understand why it's devastating your self-confidence.

The fact that he's so blatant about it, even to the point of nearly causing an accident, is a major problem. That's just disrespectful and inconsiderate. And the way he's tried to turn it around on you, implying that you'll cheat when you move away, is a huge red flag.

It seems like he's got some deep-seated insecurities and trust issues that he's projecting onto you. That's not fair or healthy for your relationship at all. You deserve someone who makes you feel valued and secure, not constantly undermines your self-worth.

My advice would be to have an honest, open conversation with him about how his behavior makes you feel. Make it clear that the constant ogling and flirting is unacceptable, and that if he can't respect you and your relationship, then it might be time to reconsider things.

You're moving overseas soon, so this could be a good opportunity to take a step back and really evaluate whether this guy is right for you. Don't be afraid to put your own needs and well-being first. If he can't stop the shady behavior, it might be time to cut your losses and move on.

You deserve so much better than this, girl. Don't settle for someone who makes you feel inadequate. Stay strong, and don't be afraid to prioritize your own happiness and self-confidence. You've got this!

[Flower7]

Yeah, red flag. I don’t get why you even entered into the relationship after you had an argument about him flirting with someone only a week before.

[Asker]

There’s a thing called ✨manipulation✨. I was gaslit into thinking it wasn’t a problem, even by his friends so I left it and thought I was being a problem. Also hard when you like someone and know them so well and they over and over tell you that “you’re just overthinking things” etc

[Flower7]

Well now that you do know the truth, I see no reason to consider staying with him.

[MrZameer]

You should leave him

[NicholasRedone]

Perhaps that's it 🤣