Should a real man let his woman always split the bill if she insists?

Question

She as a strong independent woman wants to split because she finds the man paying ridiculous. Lol Who should be the stubborn one here.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

If a woman agrees to a traditional dynamic where the man provides and she cooks and cleans (because that is what is expected in a traditional relationship), then it's fair for the man to pay. That was what was expected in times when women were not allowed to work or worked for much less than men. It made sense back then.

It's crazy that people nowadays adopt the traditions of the past. Women don't want to give up on men treating them on dates. They take all the benefits of feminism and equality without any of the responsibilities. Feminism won and women have equal pay now, so how does it make sense that men still have to provide?

I understand that men have the desire to provide and women have the desire to be provided for. And if a man makes enough money for both him and his partner and they agree to a traditional dynamic from the get-go, then that's fair. But that's not the reality for the majority based on the current economy. Most people require dual income.

I personally make it clear before even going on a date that I'm going dutch if it's a restaurant date. If they say they're not cool with that or I'm cheap, then great! It means they're not the girl for me; they don't have views compatible with my own and it saves me time.

Most of the time, I suggest a coffee date or a walk through a nature trail.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

Hate the term “real man” being used generally speaking as it can be so toxic and damaging.

For your question though I feel honestly that’s it’s kinda mixed up. Your question relates to the woman being “his” well that’s wrong for a start because if that were true there would be no question over who was paying the bill.

Secondly , being an independent woman doesn’t have much at all to do with who is paying the bill. It could be reasonably argued that independent woman pay for as many meals as they get paid for them which is at least as many as they want to.

Your tone implies that “real men” should always pay and that I do have a problem with not because often or majority it is true that men pay it’s the expectation and the toxicity of attaching it to masculinity suggesting that should a man not pay that he is somehow less than.

Should a woman want to pay her half of any bill regardless of who’s dear it was for the dinner or the date then I would let her … it’s always as simple as that and nothing to do with being a REAL MAN !

Iquestioneverything · Accepted Answer

Unpopular opinion, I don’t like hearing women referring to men as “real men” if they pay for everything. It makes us look like gold diggers and incompetent to care for ourselves and I don’t want that label. You don’t need to label yourself as a “strong woman” either just because you offer to pay the bill. There are lots of great men that can’t pay for everything too. I was raised to be equal with my partner and discuss what works best for the situation.

debbiedenise · Accepted Answer

I ask a question with a poll the other day. It seemed that most (about 50 percent) said the man should pay on the first date, with 25 percent saying that the bill should be split.

ohsheeT · Answer

If I'm dating you and I ask you out .. . More than once then she already knows that I like her and I like her a lot. And I have to be that stubborn person

Now if I just go out as friends or something . I'll still try to pick up the check but like you just said there are strong independent women that want to and feel the need to be part of everything so they want to go and have that's fine I understand that I can do that

But if I'm seeing somebody and we're going out to dinner and I really really like them and they know I really like them then I'm the most stubborn probably

AviatorTom · Answer

Of course he should. Do you really want him to argue with her?

coachTanthony · Answer

If she wants to pick up the bill from time to time no problem but splitting the bill is for friendship not romance

MisterWack · Answer

“Who should be the stubborn one here?”

They should discuss payment of the bill before arriving to the restaurant then pay the bill through the agreed method. Neither should be stubborn and should compromise.

Personally I’d want it so I pay for my half and she pays for her half, though I’d be happy to get her a dessert on me.

P. S. Yeah she is a strong independent woman, just as he is a strong independent man. They should put ego aside / whatever the case might be and just frickin’ choose a payment method lmao

hahahmm · Answer

She's not his woman if she believes she is independent. If you are independent then you shouldn't be in a relationship. You should be free, wild, have no obligations or rules to follow except those you make for yourself. If you are in a relationship you don't have the same freedom as not being in a relationship.

A real man will be more like our ancient male ancestors than a modern soy boy who does whatever a woman says is best.

That said, maybe he also considers himself to be independent and not really into you enough to think it's worth buying you a meal.

A real woman gets off on knowing a guy thinks she's worth paying for AND she does stuff for him that are traditional feminine things. A real woman gets off on being feminine. Not on being independent.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

I am a very strong, smart, independent, career oriented woman. 😂 I can raise my two kids on my own. I have a good job…I can buy whatever I want… my hubby is a stay at home dad/hubby…

when it comes to romantic relationship…I love it when my hubby takes care of me… hugs me, kisses me, pulls out the chair for me. Opens the door for me, buys me flowers and jewelry, takes me out to nice dinners, holds my hands, brushes my hair…. All these little things make me feel like I am his little princesses/his queen!! When a man does these… he is a REAL MAN!!

why would I fight about all these? These are loving gesture that I would only want from my hubby… no one else.
most men stopped doing these things because girls fight that they can do anything and don’t need a man. So men give up. It’s sad… we have lost that special connection between man and woman.

Cormac995 · Answer

I would feel a bit embarrassed I think because of the conventional expectations but I'd also be grateful because I can't afford to date period without going Dutch bare minimum with my finances. I'd let her and be grateful, but I admit I'd feel bad I couldn't afford the whole thing.

Part of why men pay for things like this in a lot of cases is not just because of conventional society rules but one of the most common love languages men uses is providing. Basically, by not letting him pay, some guys see it as a failure on their end because they're not providing and therefor in their mind, they're not showing affection properly.

Guys almost never tell their friends "I love you bro." with words. Most of the time it's something like a steam game showing up from your homie in your library with a message saying, "This game is awesome so I bought you a copy so we can play together." That's a good example of men's love language.

AManOnTheWeb · Answer

If she wants to go Dutch, then great.

I'm old school and think there's a kind of badassness in being a gentleman (opening doors, pulling her chair, paying the bill etc.). But if she's not into that, then the ultimate manly thing to do is whatever makes your date feel comfortable, even if that involves swallowing your ego. It's not about being right, it about winning her heart/mind.

Mangospacho · Answer

Letting my date pay the bill is how I stick it to the patriarchy. Yes, we are equals but so much has been done to help the patriarchy and so letting her pay the entire bill helps offset hundreds of years of patriarchy. Plus, since the meal is food and food has been used to control millions of people, letting her pay the entire bill also helps fight food inequality so it’s two birds with one stone.

genericname85 · Answer

i don't buy into this "a real man" bullshit narrative. if she wants to split the bill, why should i stop her from doing it? i'm not someone who ignores a womans wishes if i care about them. and usually when women do that, they do it to signal what sort of relationship they're looking for. and i happen to be looking for that exact sort of relationship.

ApolloEna · Answer

That all depends if you are in a committed relationship or not, and share your finances or not. If I'm in a committed relationship, I expect that we share finances. If we share finances, it makes no difference who pays. And quite frankly, that's how it should be.

If we're NOT in a committed relationship, then one or the other person can pay the total bill, if they so choose. However, it should be expected that each person pays their own way, unless one person graciously offers to pay for the other, with no expectations or "keeping score".

MrNameless · Answer

If they're both okay with splitting bills (or taking turns paying), there's nothing wrong with that.

If one is super traditional and the other isn't, and they aren't willing to find a middle ground or change, then it won't work out. Finances are a big thing. It's going to affect living together, paying bills, and whatnot—not just lunch/dinner dates.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

If she's insisting, then there's no arguing.. Doesn't make him less of a man for letting her do it.

Roldrake · Answer

So no what I do is tell her that I "forgot my wallet' and ask her to pay the whole bill, but I tell her I'll Venmo her later with tip included. If she insists that we split the bill I tell her okay I'll send you half but I'm fine with paying the whole thing. However this is all not true as I never plan to Venmo a penny I just want a free meal then I block her number that night and ghost her. P. S. use a fake name on these dates, my go to is "Hugh Jass".

RingOfFire · Answer

I don't know because I would never be in that situation since I would never be with a woman like that in the first place. I want a woman who is glad to be a woman and recognize that women and men have different roles in lives and in families. If I wanted a woman who thought she was a man I'd be gay.

HungTexan · Answer

I don’t see what’s wrong with a woman who wants to split the bill. I’m also fine if she doesn’t - I’d normally pay. I’m open to it if that’s what she wants.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, of course. Who should be the stubborn one here? Neither. I don't understand why it is not the norm for both to pay their share. There is literally NO valid reason not to.

Lightning8 · Answer

Have balance. Sometimes you treat, sometimes the other person treats. Sometimes you both split the bill. Try not to devolve the relationship into score keeping. That can become toxic faster than one might think. One or both people feel unseen repeatedly while expecting more acknowledgement from the other and then resentments start to form before you know it, even among the most conventionally attractive of couples.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

You know something I learned over my 74 years is a Greater expression of love is to let others be the provider. There is a reward in being the provider. Let others feel that sense of pride in providing. Everyone has to grow

nawtee_me · Answer

Never allow your ego to offend someone. I would offer to pay but if she insist then I will let her as not to offend her. However I look at it like whoever ask the other out should expect to pay.

HighValue · Answer

Each person should pay for themselves at first, then once the relationship is more established, it depends on the dynamics, such as do both work, or does one work and the other takes care of most other responsibilities.

incorrected · Answer

"Real man", ma'am? I'd let her pay.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I don't believe that paying or splitting makes them less of a man. I usually pay for what I ordered. It makes things easier.

Berethor · Answer

I believe that it's fair if everyone is paying for himself.

Yoursweetgirl · Answer

Tbh I never understood why is that such a big deal. If a girl insists, then yes, maybe men should let her pay but depends on their culture too

DryGermanGuy · Answer

So, there are also "unreal" men around?

MissTrix · Answer

Yes! But also a strong woman can let her date pay for things! Let him be manly that way. Gave up boys so what does my thoughts matter? Guys never liked them

QuickLady7 · Answer

Maybe it makes me sound 'self serving' in this context, but I'm actually kind of traditional when it comes to dating. I like it when the guy asks me out first, I like it when he holds doors, acts chivalrous, and I like it when he pays the bill.

It's not even really about the money (although I'm sure a lot of people will insist it is). It's about him taking the initiative in dating (which, as someone who is traditional in this area, I find pretty hot)

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I wouldn't cause a fuss over it, I don't see the point in arguing over who's going to pay. I'll pay, she can pay, we can split, it dosent matter.
But anyone telling me what a real man should be doing would be an instant turn off

Horn_Hog · Answer

I find the exact middle distance between us, place my cock there and aim straight up, then wait for the spontaneous ejaculation to occur. Whose ever side the semen lands on pays.

Guanfei · Answer

Depends on the woman. She's traditional and act that way? Then no. She wants to be the modern independent woman? Let her play the role to the end.

slatyb · Answer

His woman? I would hope that if they are in a relationship, they have already resolved the question of who pays when.

SixFootSexy · Answer

It needs to be understood that women fall in love with a man when they are doing things for you, not the other way around.

jahaims · Answer

Strong independent woman... you mean a responsible adult lol. You aren't strong and independent for doing what an adult is supposed to do lmfao

Unit1 · Answer

Gladly. We're not in it for the monies. We're in it for the heart. I've done so in the past and I will do so again.

ClassicDropout · Answer

I value my bank account more than being a "real man" so I don't know. But traditionally I think the man just always pays.

DaBiggestBird · Answer

They should decide with a game of rock, paper, scissors.

Douglas1179 · Answer

Nobody tells ME what a REAL MAN is but ME.  Suck on that.

lightbulb27 · Answer

the key word always... no I'm not sure what anything is "always".  sometimes yes.

Anonymous · Answer

What exactly is a real man first of all? It always amazes me how women dictate what a real man is. Should a real woman get in the kitchen and make her man a sandwich?

NathanDavis · Answer

they should both do as they want, feel, decide... it's just a bill... doesn't define your entire identity

Jackblue · Answer

He should let her pay half or else she will trick him, steal his clothes, and break into his home

Screenwriter · Answer

Flip it and flop it. Let him pay sometimes and you pay sometimes. Be flexible!

Tomisworthless · Answer

A real woman pays for herself. "Im a big kid now!" 🎶🎶

MrShaun · Answer

I'm totally against splitting the bill -- she should pay for the whole thing!

Yannae · Answer

Real or not, I don't care if she insists. It's me treating you to a nice restaurant. Like a gift, just receive it and enjoy the evening.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Couples need to decide this on their own. I for one am not going to argue over who pays for dinner, but not everyone is in the same situation.

Anonymous · Answer

One of them should give in. It’s ridiculous to fight about. I always offer, but if the guy insists I’ll graciously let him pay.

blackeagle007 · Answer

I think going Dutch is fair. We all aren’t Mr moneybags here. Ya dig ladies? Seems money is important with ya all

msc545 · Answer

When women insist on this it's just a shittest - they don't mean it.

Aurav22 · Answer

Nope real men let her pay full bill real men don't split bill.

Anonymous · Answer

No stubborness. Split the bill. Feminism demands nothing less.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I will never be with a STRONG INDEPENDENT woman armenian girl haha

Twalli · Answer

My view is that the man should always be able to pay, but not expected to.

Pohjolan · Answer

Roger that. Not worth having a argument over that.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm so tired of these brainless questions leave it 2024 and get some therapy

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, if she insists, that means she likes to be dominant, and that's what I like in a girl.

oldpigg · Answer

I will never pay for a woman's food.

NicholasRedone · Answer

I'd always split the bill 💸💵

TheStaleMarshmellow · Answer

I'll ask, if you insist, I won't stop you

Should a real man let his woman always split the bill if she insists?

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Why do men hate on women who wants the man to pay the bill, but when she insists on splitting, he wants to pay?

Should a real man let his woman always split the bill if she insists?

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Why do men hate on women who wants the man to pay the bill, but when she insists on splitting, he wants to pay?

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