Why do most men these days insist for a woman to be making an income and to split all the bills 50/50 at all times?

[Anastacia1989]

A lot of couples are much happier dating than they are married these days it seems….. maybe people are scared of being used and screwed over financially? Does everyone these days fear being sucked dry financially?

how about men who insist on splitting things 50/50 at all times? Is it because they are paranoid about being “used”?

Things really have changed in society and most men these days don’t wanna be providers. Could the high cost of living have something to do with this or does it come down to fear of being used?

Fear being used by the woman

High cost of living

A bit of both

Other- pls explain

Updates

1 y

This is just a general observation- not targeted at anyone specifically I’m just curious about ppls thoughts

[OneViewpoint]

Because a lot of men are sick to death of hearing about equality for women whose behavior demonstrates anything but an equality mindset.

Women want education, a career, and equal pay. OK, all of that is fair and reasonable. But they also want the man to play a traditional role. They want to take zero risks. They want the guy to approach them. They want him to plan the dates, pay for drinks, pay for the meals, pay for flowers, do the driving, etc.

So women want fair and equal when it benefits them and they want traditional behavior from the guy when that benefits them. A lot of guys are saying nope. If we're both making $100K, you can split the costs of being together. Because that's fair and reasonable... Equal.

Guys get used for free meals and drinks or a cure for boredom all the time in this internet app dating culture. That shit gets expensive. They want women to have some skin in the game. They want them to take on a fair share of the financial risk.

Why do (some) women have a problem owning the new reality they have asked for? You demanded equality. OK. Things have changed. Now you want to hold onto pieces of the past because that felt good to you. Sorry, the change you asked for require you to change your thinking too.

Now you can experience life from a guy's perspective. Get out there and ask that guy out. Spend your money. Take risks. Get rejected and burned. That's what equality means.

[jahaims]

Financial responsibility should be split 50/50 unless they have a traditional relationship where she is a housewife or sahm. Why would one partner financially cover everything then come home to more work while the other partner only has the house to take care of.

[IslaTheWitch]

I can't see anything strange in that... if he can pay bills, she can also, right?

if they agree that she cares for the home and kids, then fine... he pays, and she takes care of stuff...

but it is not the default... the default is that everyone pays for themselves...

[DishLady]

I don't think MOST men do that -- not willingly and not so much demanding as just realizing that it takes two incomes to make it in a big city, especially if you want a family, etc.

[Finchie40]

I don’t expect a girl to split everything 50/50 , I just expect her to have my back the same way I have hers. A girl that is capable of providing for herself instead of a girl holding her hand out to be catered to at all times. I don’t care about how much money she makes , I just care that she is capable of being a team player and not a user. If I ask a girl on a date , I don’t expect her to pay a dime because I asked her on the date. If she asks me on a date and expects me to pay for everything , my ass isn’t going on that date period. So my advice to you is do not go on a date with a guy that is expecting you to split the bill 50/50 , you are best to walk the other way if that’s what you are experiencing in the dating world.

[Anastacia1989]

What about in a committed relationship? One that is leading to marriage?

[Finchie40]

Then I would suggest her and I to open a joint account together , if we were living together to manage our money and bills together also save for our future and for miscellaneous things like vacations and emergencies etc. basically my money becomes her money and vice versa. As long as she isn’t a big spender and blows through money like it grows on trees. Any big expensive purchases we discuss together , but little things aren’t that big of a deal if her and I are on the same page with things and we both don’t go overboard putting each other in the hole Me personally isn’t really a big spender , I just like having a roof over our heads , clothes on our backs and food in our mouths , and have a little spending money for ourselves. I like relationships that her and I work as a team together

[Summeroflove]

Well not all men are the same but if someone’s making significantly less money that can be a issue. It’s frustrating when people are in one sided relationships such as when both spouses work but the man demands the woman does all the house chores and stuff or the other extreme where a man works 70 hours to come home to a honey do list when she’s not working.

If someone’s married and feels like they’re being used they probably shouldn’t have married that person if trust is gone. A marriahe should be about love and while I agree there should be equal effort. If the woman’s making less money then the man…

[Sunrising]

Times have changed both sexes can stay at home and be House Persons. But the person at home doesn't have any independence, and relying on someone else doesn't make a good relationship, even though the person paying the bills may be happy with this situation.

At work, even if you're not contributing much money to the partnership, you're enriching your life and the relationship by meeting people.

I wouldn't want to stay at home, even if my partner was very successful.

[Nikki1989]

Life is expensive, and some men are total tight-asses with money.

[Anastacia1989]

Agreed. Do these men fear of being taken advantage?

[BarryLiverstone]

If guts are doing that, it’s likely they want to have firm boundaries and not be taken advantage of. There are countless stories of girls who will use guys , so the guys may have rules to avoid that.


When I’ve dated in the past I tended to pay for more than she did tbh.

[BarryLiverstone]

*guys

[Anastacia1989]

Were you ok with paying for more than the woman did? Or do you think it should’ve been more equal?

[BarryLiverstone]

Think I’m more old school romantic. I was ok paying as I felt I make enough money and wanted them to feel taken care of and on dates feel safe and less worries. So yes I was ok paying more overall. But think had my relationship gone past a few years then could have shared more responsibly if we moved in together or got engaged yk

[BarryLiverstone]

But I’ve also done some research on equal pay between guys and girls and I know in general it’s more expensive for girls to live their lives as there are hidden costs that some guys are not aware of.

[Anastacia1989]

Ya for committed couples - engaged, dating or married, should both partners split the bills or should the guy pay a little more?

[Anastacia1989]

What hidden costs are you referring to?

[BarryLiverstone]

I’d say it’s fair if both partners are working for each to contribute financially to the relationship. 50/50 split would not be the best solution and each couple works out who pays for what

[Anastacia1989]

Why wouldn’t the 50/50 split be the best solution?

[BarryLiverstone]

Some of the costs include :

Medical and health : girls have a cycle and need to buy products to maintain health as well as obgyn. Guys can get away with avoiding the doc.

Fashion and accessories : guys can wear clothes for years and not be as pressured whereby girls often buy new things to keep a fresh look and are judged more by their appearance.

Hair : unless a guy is going once a month, every year a girl will pay more in hair cuts, product.. usually the head hair is longer.

Misc items : guys pay about 20% less on some items than girls do.

[Anastacia1989]

Ya somewhat true…my haircuts are 2-3 times a year and I colour my hair myself which costs way less that going to the salon

[BarryLiverstone]

A 50/50 split assumes both people make exactly the same income and both plan to spend exactly the same each month. That’s too much micro management in dating. So even if couples move in together one usually covers the mortgage/rent while the other may buy the groceries or pay the electric bill. Forcing all costs 50/50 not only is hard to manage but would cause too many arguments when someone wants a particular cheat meal or wants to travel to a place the other doesn’t for a weekend date.

[BarryLiverstone]

Right. I’ve never had to color my hair and I get it cut for under $20. Also use pert plus in the shower and the amount I use is half the size of my hand each wash, so a bottle lasts several months. Use a bar of soap so it’s less expensive than girls I’ve dated who have much more body care and I haven’t even mentioned make up.

So these are often hidden costs that guys don’t realize when they pay $100 for a first date and she’s paid more to get ready for that date than he has.

[Anastacia1989]

What do you mean by micro management? Please explain

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s an economic term. Macro vs micro. Macro is the big picture so in this context you would say it’s each person pays $20,000 each month into the relationship for bills and expenses. But micro management is evaluating and approving every single purchase. So if it’s 50/50, you both must agree on which brand of toothpaste to buy and both must agree on if you can get soda at lunch break.. we each make hundreds of decisions a day in our lives and having to check in with our parter 100 times a day when making a financial decision is a road to disaster

[LazerBean]

I have not seen that most men insist on 50/50. Most men insist whoever they are living with work full time, but I don't think they usually worry about making sure it's 50/50.

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

Im not a man im feminine I can't do anything for myself but I am grateful for my mom otherwise id really be homeless. I can't keep a job people hate me and prefer for me to kms. My mom literally has to force me to get clothing because I have 0 interest in looking good or like poo. I get treated like shit regardless and I 0 personality. Im as dull and boring as can be.

[bowenw]

Most couples I know pool their resources and don’t worry about splitting expenses 50/50. If a guy is like that I would treat it as a red flag and be reluctant about getting into a serious relationship with them.

[LiamJHayden]

No idea. Who pays what is not a concern of mine, whether while dating or with friends.

[Anastacia1989]

What about in a committed relationship that’s leading to marriage / living togther?

[Anonymous]

What planet do you live on? Here on Earth most men do not care about a woman's income, nor do they expect everything to always be split 50/50.

[Anastacia1989]

There was a guy that kept telling his girlfriend 50/50 for everything

[Opinion Owner]

Soooooo... how did you make the leap from one guy to "most men these days"?

[Anastacia1989]

I’ve noticed most people these days split the bill when they go out….

[Opinion Owner]

Some do, most don't. And when it happens it's not because the guy insisted. It's because the girl did.

[Anastacia1989]

There’s this one guy that insists for him and his girl to split the bill 50/50 at all times…. she pays for herself and he pays for himself….. what’s your input on that?

[Anastacia1989]

There’s also this married couple that I know that splits the bill as well - she pays her stuff and he pays his stuff

[Opinion Owner]

So, you know one guy and one married couple, and you assume everyone is like them? Come on now, have a little honesty.

[NathanDavis]

I've never done that

[Anastacia1989]

Never done what?

[NathanDavis]

I've never thrown a fit over money...

[Anastacia1989]

In relationships do you think it should be 50/50? Or should the guy pay for more?

[NathanDavis]

it should depend on their finances...

for example, during college years, I worked full time and I had my place... my girlfriend at the time was fully into college/career which was quite demanding, so I told her to move in with me so she didn't have to work to pay rent and end up exhausted, and she did

I never ever asked her to split the bills or nothing like that, no rent... but there were a lot of expenses she needed and covered herself

with my next two girlfriends... it was similar, they moved in with me, I never asked them for ANY money, but they felt more comfortable with covering some of the "shared" spending, and their own expenses as well

never over bothered to count every cent to end up "50/50" though...

[Anonymous]

Yeah that's not true at all. Most guys are not like that.

[chocolatetwopointo]

its how it should be, i dont see a problem

[RedInnocent69]

Most? Sad. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

They don't.