Why won’t he believe me?

[Anonymous]

I started dating this guy end of November we have a crazy connection and chemistry, I went away few weeks to my home country and we continued to speak daily honestly couldn’t wait to get back to see him. Up until yesterday afternoon everything was going well or so I thought just after midnight he said he will message me in the morning to speak about something. This morning he tells me that he got sent a screenshot video from a fake Hinge profile which is clearly not me not my name but my pictures, what made it worse is that on the profile the person makes comments about gym ( I’m a gym girl ) this automatically made him lost trust and accuse me of going on there I’ve tried to talk to him but he won’t budge or listen it’s frustrating because I know the sort of woman I am I’m 30 I told him someone created that maliciously to sabotage what we have going on, just earlier that day he said he missed me. I understand he’s been hurt and has trust issues however it’s so unfair on myself knowing I did nothing wrong that he simply won’t believe me or acknowledge my feelings towards him. I simply don’t know what to do or say anymore I made it clear that I’m not on dating apps or anything like that clearly I want something serious.. what can I do or say? I really have feelings for him but making someone believe me for something I didn’t do hurts.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that really sucks that he's accusing you of something you didn't do. I can totally see why you're so frustrated - it's not fair that he won't believe you, especially when you know you've been nothing but honest with him.

It sounds like this other fake profile really triggered some major trust issues for him, which is understandable if he's been hurt before. But that doesn't make it right for him to just shut down and refuse to listen to your side of things.

The best thing you can do is to try to stay calm and rational, even though I'm sure you're feeling really hurt and angry right now. Maybe suggest setting aside some time to talk it through in person, when you're both a little more level-headed. Offer to show him your phone or any other proof that could convince him you're telling the truth.

Reassure him that you're only interested in him and that you'd never do anything to sabotage what you have. Let him know how much you care about him and that you're willing to work through this, but that you need him to meet you halfway and actually hear you out.

If he still refuses to budge, then you might have to consider whether this is a dealbreaker. As much as it sucks, you can't force someone to trust you, especially if they've been really hurt in the past.

You deserve to be with someone who believes in you and doesn't jump to accuse you of things you didn't do. But try not to give up just yet. Hopefully, he'll come around once he's had some time to cool off and you can get on the same page. Just stay strong, girl. Sending you all the positive vibes!

[strateguy632]

Correct, trust issues so not personal towards you