Why do guys have a problem seriously dating a single mom of 1 when they could easily have their own child with her?

[Anonymous]

[Cormac995]

Men don't want to deal with a kid that's not theirs pretty much period. It's expensive baggage they can't afford, or they only want one kid. Why would anyone want to deal with a rude little brat that acts nasty and doesn't respect you because you're not their "Real Dad." Why would a guy want to spend money on someone else's kid and have to help pay for those things? Dating is already expensive enough without an ungrateful financial burden in your future if you get serious. It's basically getting financially cucked, that's not attractive.

Also, kids make relationships a ton more work and for most guys simply more than it's worth. They get sick and force you to cancel last minute they knock on the bedroom door while you're having sex. They often don't like you and try to sabotage things making relationships which are already hard more difficult and stressful. Suddenly canceling dates last minute is beyond frustrating and disappointing, also guys don't want to compete with a child that isn't theirs for their mom's attention either because that makes bonding hard because your priorities are elsewhere instead of in the relationship by necessity.

Also, the vast majority of the time when I do meet a single mom simply put, she got left for a reason. They often have a bitter bitchy entitled personality and that's far from attractive. The number of single moms I've met that I liked can be counted on one hand and that's counting some that I only kind of knew in passing.

Even further people who have been divorced are less attractive to me and others as well because when divorces happen there are almost always problems on both ends of the relationship. If she got divorced that could also be seen as a reason to think it's a bad idea to be in a relationship with. I see it as well as a sign of emotional immaturity in (most) cases.

If you end up in a situation where you ended up pregnant by someone outside of a serious relationship, you fucked up because you were having loveless sex and as a result in my opinion play stupid games win stupid prizes. When you treat baby making as "Fun" and not "Making love" then congratulations accidents in the bedroom under those circumstance is how a lot of women end up single moms and men become single fathers or deadbeat dads.

I'm saying this as a fact and not an insult but when it happens under those circumstances a lot people are also going to think you're a whore for getting knocked up by someone who left you because they didn't want to be life partners. Sex before marriage is fine but unless you love the other person, you're making a mistake simple as a lot of the reasons are even rooted in science.

Sex isn't a right it's a responsibility and people have forgotten that and that's why there are a shit ton of deadbeat dads and single moms. If you're not in love and trust the other person fully your legs should stay shut regardless of sex or identity.

Like it or not girl or guy nobody want's someone ran through, and unfortunately single moms are often seen in that light because they had a kid with someone else. Even when they have been responsible sexually and mature and it wasn't their fault a lot of people see the kid and that's it done. People judge at a glance, and we have since we were monkeys' facts aren't fair, but they exist non the less.

These are obviously not hard and fast rules that apply every single time, but they are a pretty general way that these things are looked at. If you are a single woman without kids and you're reading this, I urge you to take this all seriously even if you don't like what I'm saying. Like it or not this is actually a pretty popular opinion for a lot of people. I'm not going to lie just to give you a sugar-coated reply because I don't like lying to people especially when they're asking for genuine and honest feedback like this.

[Anonymous]

Dating a single mom comes w a lot of problems, issues, challenges. Whatever you want to call it. For one no man really wants to raise another man’s child. It’s a financial burden. Two most men want a lineage of their own. Three, if she breaks up w you, not only do you lose her but you lose that relationship w that child if it turned out to be a good relationship. Four, on the opposite side of that the child may not like you. They may accuse you of something to get you out of the picture. More than likely mom will believe them even if it’s not true. Five women say they’re not asking for a dad for their father, but you sure as hell will have the responsibility of one. Meaning financially, feeding that child, clothing that child, especially if that child has a deadbeat father who doesn’t support the child financially. Women may say well I pay for my child’s things. Which may be true but it still takes away from what two people would make together if they didn’t have a child in the pic. You’ll be expected to put your life on the line for that child if something happens. A lot of times women won’t let you discipline their child especially if you believe in spanking. But again you still have the responsibility of looking after that child. You can’t show up w food just for the two of you cause she’s going to get mad that you didn’t bring her child food. You can’t just spontaneously get up, take a weekend trip getaway to Vegas or San Diego. She always has to find a sitter to watch the kid if you expect to take her on a date. You’ll always be competing w the child for quality time w her. Chances are if her child is older, she’s been single a while, that child probably has a lot of issues. Especially emotional ones cause mom’s emotions spill onto the children. You might have to deal w an ex. Let’s see. How many more reasons do you want why men should not really date single moms, especially if they have options.

[Asker]

You just listed all the potential negatives, what about the positives?

If it was a bad option to date single mothers why do so many guys do it?

[Opinion Owner]

Why don’t you list the positives. I’ve dated a few single moms. None of them turned out good. That was my experience. I’m not saying that situations like that are never successful. I think some men date single moms cause they’re hot. Then they realize what all comes w dating single moms. My advice to men. Find a girl who doesn’t have kids.

[incorrected]

What positives?

[Summeroflove]

Well assuming she’s not a person who makes bad choices. Not ready for the responsibility. Not comfortable with it. Can be anything.

Not wanting to date doesn’t always equate to rejecting you as a human being.

[incorrected]

Even in the best case scenario it's still a net negative. If you're a single mother, try dating single fathers. Do you think you'll love their kid like you love yours? I promise you, no matter how much you might wish to believe you would, you wouldn't. It complicates everything. Even the idea that parents don't have favourites among their own kids is nonsense.

[Kaneki05]

If they like children then yeah I find it dumb too, because it makes no difference and you can have another like you said.

However I don't like children so same can't be said for me. But you know I would date a single mum if her child was already independent because then it's not a thing I am forced to deal with.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 oh geez this question again.🤦‍♂️ Instead of being salty that men do not want to date single moms, just make good choices and then you won't end up a single mom. The MAJORITY of women out there are single moms for a reason. And they ruin it for the minority.

[Darklydarkened]

Because I'd not really want some guy's child in my life, is all.

[douglas_1170]

Kids are gross.

[jahaims]

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